The Normals
by HyperInuyasha
Summary: Join Falco, Meta Knight, King Dedede, and Lucario as they try to survive the madness of the rest of the house. (COMPLETED)
1. Breakfast Bullshit

_Before I start this fic, I want to give my thanks to the GreatChickenMiasma. Her story What Goes On is what inspired me to make crack fics. Go and check it out for yourself!_

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><p><em>The Normals<em>

_by HyperInuyasha_

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><p>Falco arose from his bed, stretching his ar- er... wings. What time is it? Coffee time. Everyone loves coffee. Especially birds. And I totally got that off of Wikipedia. Honest. He got out of bed, leaving the StarFox dorm. On the way there, he passed Fox and Wolf. Fox was holding a gooey bomb. This won't end well.<p>

"Hey Falco! Wolf bet me a quarter I couldn't eat a Gooey Bomb!" said Fox.

"Uh huh, you do that." muttered Falco, not caring. He had been staying at the Smash Castle for a long time and one thing quicky became apparant; everyone was batshit crazy. Only a few people, Falco among them, were normal and perfectly sane.

Mario acted sane, but he's a bit of a pyromaniac, along with anyone else who grabs a Fire Flower. Donkey Kong... um... he's an ape. He can be excused. Link was affected by a horrible mental disease: Gamer's OCD. Whenever he saw a blade of grass or a pot or anything that could hold his precious rupees, he would break them, all the while laughing maniacily. Samus had a temper and would blast apart the thing that made her unhappy, Yoshi was a glutton and so was Kirby, Fox believes in miracles and was pretty much an idiot. If someone did something to Pikachu, he would get them back in the most disproportinate manner. Luigi's scared of everything, Captain Falcon is pretty much just crazy, Ness also had a temper, and Jigglypuff always singed and drew marker on people's faces. And that's just the first eight of the Smashers.

Bowser was a villain and was already dubbed insane, Peach had an unhealthy obsession with tea, Zelda was constantly at war with her split personality Shiek, the Ice Climbers, despite being Ness and Lucas' age, were very childish and would go to dangerous places _FOR ADVENTURE_, Marth was obsessed with his looks, Mr. Game and Watch... no one's sure about him actually, and Ganondorf was insane_ FOR POWER_. Oh yeah, and that's just the Melee characters. The Melee exclusive characters in the meantime had already gone insane, and it was clear to anyone with a brain.

Diddy Kong was a mad scientist who built stuff out of wood. Sometimes he would actually succeed (his jetpack and guns) but most of the time, his work has nothing to show for other than a flaming house. Ike liked to shine his sword a lot, Lucas seemed normal, but considering his past, it's not hard to imagine that he would one day snap from all of the trauma. Captain Olimar has become over-protective of his Pikmin (you could blame Captain Falcon for that), Pit would try to strangle people that did bad stuff and didn't say sorry, Red (Pokemon Trainer) is obssessed with battling and sics his Pokemon on people for no reason, R.O.B. was a robot and didn't count, Snake was paranoid and loved his box, Sonic's ego had developed it's own split-personality, Toon Link's OCD wasn't as bad but he's a cartoon so he's pretty wacky, Wario was already a weirdo, and Wolf was pretty much just crazy. All of this combined made one mad house that blows up at least once a week.

Then there were the normal people. The ones who don't have mental problems. Falco was among them of course. There was King Dedede. He acts like a jerk, but secretly, he wants friends to spend time with. He's also a bit of a spazz. Then there's Meta Knight, who had been keeping his sanity in check since the 1980s or whenever Kirby Adventure released. Lastly was Lucario, who was usually peaceful and very observant. They have all banded together to survive the madness that besieged everyone else. They became known to everyone as The Normals, the last remaining sane people in the castle.

Falco left the dorm. Upon closing the door, he heard an explosion along with Wolf's laughing. He looked down both ends of the hallways. Alright, no one coming. Lets just...

"GET OUT OF THE WAY LOSER!" yelled Wario, driving past him on his bike while holding a sack full of hats. A second later, Charizard passed him, with Red, Mario, Luigi, Ness, Link, and Toon Link on his back.

"GIVE BACK OUR-A HATS!" yelled Mario.

"YOU DESERVE DEATH!_ DEEEEEEATH!_" shouted Ness.

"Why are you all so damn heavy..." groaned Charizard. Falco looked around to make sure no more antics were happening and sped off in the direction of the dining room. The food was arranged buffet style, so the Smashers could just grab whatever they wanted to eat and dig in. Falco waited patiently in line for the Primid chefs to be done making waffles. Meta Knight came alongside him.

"Greetings Falco." greeted (obviously) Meta Knight.

"Hey. Have you seen Snake? He borrowed my DS and I want it-" began Falco.

"I DON'T HAVE IT!" yelled Snake. He got out from under his box and took that thing he uses to fly and hovers upward. However, he forgot that he was inside and crashed into the ceiling, falling down face first. "...Don't help me, I don't need your sympathy!"

"...I'll get it back later." muttered Falco. The Primids finally served the waffles, satisfying both the bird and swordsman. They went to sit down in their designated table. Usually, people would just sit in any random place, but groups of people have established their own table to rule over. The Normals had their own table. Sitting a distance away was the kid's table, then there was the table that ws jokingly named Yaoi Table since Link, Marth, Roy, Pit, and Ike sat there. Last in the list of pre-established seating was the girls. Just like The Normals, they have banded together, but_ IN THE NAME OF BEAUTY_. Except Samus. She's honestly not sure why she sits with them all of the time. All of the other Smashers just sat elsewhere so they could eat their food in peace. Except there's never peace. There is only war. King Dedede and Lucario arrived, sitting alongside their friends.

"Hey you guys! Did you know that Zelda Four Swords is out now?" asked Dedede.

"Oh, it released already?" asked Falco.

"Yeah! How about we all go adventuring together? Huh? How does that sound? ...Please?" asked Dedede.

"Snake stole my DS." said Falco, looking over to the downed man.

"I do not pursue my time over frivilous games." muttered Lucario.

"You just want someone to play with, don't you?" asked Meta Knight.

"Sniff... Yeah..." said Dedede, breaking into a sob. "You're always doing important things, and Kirby just ditches me for other people. I'm... sniff... lonely..." cried Dedede. Meta Knight awkwardly put his arm around the fat penguin.

"There there. We'll all play together when we have the time." said Meta Knight.

"Really?" asked Dedede.

"Yes."

"Dedede, when you're not acting like a total douche you're a lonely crybaby. Why don't you grow a backbone or something?" asked Falco.

"I did! I'm just so husky that you can't feel it!" said Dedede proudly.

Lucario sweatdropped. "I think that was an expression." He then noticed something. "Falco, where's your coffee?"

"Huh?"

"You always get coffee in the morning. Yet I notice a lack of hot scalding liquids." said Lucario.

"Damn it, you're right. Hey, anyone else need anything?" asked Falco.

"Get me some hash browns. Go forth my servant!" commanded Dedede.

"Don't push it." muttered Falco. He went over to a random Primid. "Hey, where's the coffee?"

"Sorry sir, but we have no coffee." said the Primid.

"What? Why the hell not?"

"**_COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE..._**" yelled a hyperactive voice.

"That." said the Primid. He quickly hid under a table. "You should hide." Before Falco could question it, a blur ran toward Falco; it was Kirby, who had most likely depleted the stores of coffee. Acting as if Falco was never there, Kirby ran through Falco, knocking him over. He ran straight into Captain Falcon's table, up-ending it and sending the captain's food flying. Falcon let out a war cry and chased down the hyper blob. Falco went back to The Normals.

"I presume that there is no coffee?" said Meta Knight, looking utterly bemused.

"Yup."

"FALCON..._ PUNCH!_" yelled Captain Falcon. Kirby flew into Falco's head, smashing him into the table.

"My face..." moaned Falco. King Dedede laughed at his misfortune.

"This is rich... Hey shouldn't you be stopping that Kirby or something?" Dedede asked Meta Knight.

"Why? I'm not his keeper."

"Yeah, but someone responsible has to stop that guy, and I can't do it because I'm a king." said Dedede. They all just sat there, waiting to see if anyone was going to get up and stop Kirby, who was currently punching Donkey Kong. But no one got up. In fact, they couldn't care less. Lucario sighed, getting up.

"I'll try to stop him in the name of peace." said Lucario. He approached Kirby slowly. "Psst... Kirby."

"Coffee?"

"Yes, I have coffee. Just get close enough so I could hi- I mean give it to you." said Lucario. Kirby slowly inched forward to him. Lucario could not believe that this is actually working. But then...

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" yelled Wario. He ran over Lucario as the no longer hatted heroes continued to chase him. Meta Knight looked at the squished blue pancake that is Lucario.

"Are you okay?" asked Meta Knight.

"Pain."

"I still can't feel my face guys..." muttered Falco, who's head was still lying on the table.

"Holy crap, two of us already injured, and it's still breakfast!" noted Dedede. He widened his eyes. "Oh god I'm next."

"Your majesty, I find that ridiculous." said Meta Knight. Then an explosion happened. They don't know the cause of it. They don't want to know. King Dedede fell out of his chair as a flying fork jabbed him in the head.

"OH GOD I'M BLEEDING!" screamed Dedede.

"Face... still... hurt..." muttered Falco.

"Skid marks... my skin... no longer blue..." moaned Lucario.

"Don't worry guys, I'll try to get a doctor in here." said Meta Knight.

"DID ANYONE SAY DOCTOR?" yelled Dr. Mario, coming into the scene.

"I said doctor, not mad scientist."

"Hey, that was just ONE time I replaced Dedede's arm with a laser cannon!" yelled Dr. Mario.

"It was awesome while it lasted." said Dedede.

"Sorry Dr. Mario, but I'm going to need a NORMAL doctor." said Meta Knight.

"Pfft. Since when was anyone here normal?" asked Dr. Mario. Meta Knight looked throughout the dining room. Samus was shooting at everyone who came near her, Kirby continued to run amuck, Wario somehow made skid marks on the ceiling as Charizard and the hatless heroes continued to chase him, the children have gotten into a food fight, and Bowser was for some reason setting stuff on fire. Meanwhile, most of the normal people were incapacitated, and any order that still remained had went flying out the window. Meta Knight realized: Dr. Mario is right.

And to think that it's still 9:00 in the morning.

"You forgot my hash browns..." said Dedede.

_To be continued..._

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><p><em>Remember kids: crack fics are the best fics!<em>


	2. Lunchtime Shopping  Part 1

_Sorry for not updating this. You see, a lot of my stories feature insane characters, whether it's a humor story or horrific story. I simply cannot write sane characters without making them sound boring. But then I remembered that I should be committed to each story I start (except Mushroom Destiny, whose RPG Topics has since been erased and the goddamn Halloween story)! So, here we are! The story will be divided into several arcs. So far, I have three arcs planned, including this one. So, sit back, enjoy, and remember to review!_

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><p><em>The Normals - Chapter 2<em>

_ARC 1: LUNCHTIME SHOPPING - PART 1_

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><p>ROB, in his Ancient Minister garb, strolled into his office, playing a music disc that had humming noises on it. Oh how he loved his office. It was the only place in the castle that was safe from the madness that plauged everything else. What a nice day. Other than the 'Kirby hopped up on coffee' incident this morning, nothing bad happened. And of course when nothing bad happens, something bad will happen soon, and 'soon' is approximately right now.<p>

"Sir! Sir!" screamed a Primid, running into the office. "It's terrible!"

"WHAT? SOMEONE REVIVED TABUU?"

"No!"

"ONE OR MORE OF THE SMASHERS HAS FINALLY SNAPPED AND IS CURRENTLY ON A RAMPAGE?"

"No! We're out of food sir!" said the Primid. ROB eased a bit.

"IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A PROBLEM. JUST GET SOME FOOD THAT WE PUT IN STORAGE."

"There is no food in storage either! Kirby found it and..." said Primid. Dread seized ROB's heart. Or... sensors. Yeah, emotion sensors. With no food, there will be nothing for lunch, which would cause all of the Smashers to go nuts. He needs to go shop for more food within two hours before the castle becomes a smoking crater. However, the Primids and ROB were banned from Wal-Mart, which was their main supplier, so the Smashers had to go buy the food. Usually when a Smasher goes shopping, things don't turn out as expected. For example, when it was Peach's turn to go shopping, she only bought vegetables, which caused a riot amongst all of the meat lovers.

ROB looked at the chore schedule to see who's turn it is to go shopping and sighed with relief. It was The Normals turn to go shopping. As weird as they may be, they're the sanest of all of the Smashers and were least likely to screw up.

"GO GATHER THEM." commanded ROB.

"Whose them?"

"THE NORMAL ONES."

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><p>"That was an eventful morning." grumbled Lucario. After one short visit to the infirmiry, everyone was healed and perfectly okay.<p>

"Yeah, but look at it this way! Nothing else can go wrong!" said King Dedede. Suddenly, a group of Primids ran in, weilding Beam Swords and Super Scopes, surrounding the small group of Smashers. Falco began smacking Dedede in the face.

"NEVER. SAY. NOTHING. _CAN. GO. **WRONG!**_" yelled Falco, delivering one final slap.

"Ouch. Well I'm sorry, but I don't go on TV Tropes!" yelled Dedede. Meta Knight and Lucario surveyed the Primids.

"Why are you pointing weapons at us?" asked Meta Knight.

"The Ancient Minister requests you to undergo an important task! Failure to accept will result in execution and extra pummeling!" yelled one of the Primids.

"...Isn't that a bit harsh?" asked Lucario.

"No. No it isn't. This is the most important of tasks, so our threats would be justified! Your quest shall be... _GOING TO WAL-MART AND BUYING NEW FOOD!_" All four Smashers gasped. Shopping was the most hardest chore in the entire castle. They would rather go feed the Pokemon.

"Do we have to?" grumbled Dedede. The Primids carrying Super Scopes fired into the air, reminding them that they have no choice in the matter. "Alright alright sheesh."

"Excellent. To aid you in your quest, you shall recieve... _THE SMASH BROTHERS CREDIT CARD!_" The Primid shoved a gold credit card in the air, allowing everyone to bask in it's glory as the other Primids sang an angelic choir. The Smash Brothers Credit Card had unlimited funds on it. Anyone that had their hands on it would be able to buy everything in the universe if they wished. Falco snatched it greedily and so the Primid added, "Don't get greedy. Buy food and _ONLY FOOD._" Then the Primids disappearing into puffs of smoke. Like ninjas. Only smarter.

"I could buy a new arwing with this thing..." said Falco. Lucario snatched it from his hands. "Hey! What's the big idea?"

"The card should be in my possession. I am the most responsible of you guys after all." said Lucario. Meta Knight scowled. Then again, who would know if he scowled?

"Actually that would fall into my jurdistriction. I'll be taking that." said Meta Knight, taking the card from Lucario's hands.

"Give that back." Lucario grabbed it.

"Give me the card back."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"ENOUGH!" screamed Falco. Meta Knight and Lucario stopped fighting over the credit card. "You two are acting like brats! Just leave it with Lucario!" Meta Knight grudgingly gave the credit card back to Lucario. Even an honorable knight like Meta Knight would be entranced by the card's power.

"Alright. Let's just get this over with." said Dedede. The Normals walked to the castle's main hall and was prepared to leave through the grand front door, which was a huge door that was made out of gilded doorknobs. It was a security defense apparantly. If an intruder wanted to break in, they would have to find the real doorknob. ...Yeah, don't blame the Anicent Minister or Master Hand for this. Crazy Hand was the one who designed the door. He calls the door a fine masterpiece. If you think about it, it could really be considered a masterpiece. The doorknobs gleam in the sunlight and... "HEY! STOP TALKING ABOUT DOORS!"

Gaaaaaaasp. You're breaking the fourth wall!

"So are you. Plus you had no problem with it in your other stories." pointed out Lucario.

Shut up you... dog... thing. Oh hey look it's Pikachu.

"What's up morons? Where are you going?" asked Pikachu.

"We're going to go shopping." said Lucario, pulling out the Smash Brothers Credit Card. It was a big mistake.

"HEY GUYS! FALCO, META KNIGHT, LUCARIO, AND DEDEDE'S GOING SHOPPING!" screamed Pikachu. Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed as every Smasher broke through it. Before the heroes knew it, they were surrounded. Some people requested them to buy a certain food for them, some trying to grab the credit card from Lucario's hands, while some just stared at the card as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"I WANT CANDY!"

"SCREW THE FOOD JUST GIVE ME THE CARD!"

"WHY NOT BOTH?"

"WE NEED BANANAS!"

"MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND; JUST LIKE YOUR HEAD IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT TO ME!"

"IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!"

"MY EYES! _IT'S BURNING MY EYES!_"

"God damn it." was all Dedede could think to say. He brandished his giant mallet, threatening the horde. "Back! Get back!"

"No! You infidels are not getting this card!" yelled Lucario. Forming aura in his hands, he began punching any Smasher that dare came near him. The other guys began to fight back as well, but unfortunately, this was all too much for them. Suddenly, Falco hatched (Get it? Because he's a bird and aw forget it...) a brilliant plan. He stealthily crouched down and crawled away from the fighting.

"Falco! Where are you going?" yelled Meta Knight.

"I have an idea!" yelled Falco, running off. With one less fighter, it seems that all hope would be lost. Our heroes will never go to Wal-Mart, Smash Castle would plunge into chaos, and of course everyone would have to go without lunch and maybe dinner, which would be even worse. All seemed bleak... until Falco rolled in inside the Landmaster, running down all of the Smashers except for the rest of the crew. "Quick! Get in!"

"Good thinking Fox." commended Meta Knight.

"...I'm not Fox."

"Oh sorry. Force of habit." said Meta Knight. As they entered the Landmaster, the rabid Smashers regained their senses. With mighty roars and death threats, they jump onto the Landmaster and began to beat it to death. I'm not sure how you beat a tank to death, but that's what they were doing. THe Landmaster preformed a barrel roll, sending Smashers flying and crushing anyone unfortunate enough to be standing right next to the Landmaster. Falco then said, "Screw the door," and drove through it, leaving a tank shaped hole and injured Smashers in it's wake.

Meanwhile the Ancient Minister watched the pandemonium from his office, which offered a great view of the castle's courtyard. He shook his head. He hoped that what just took place in the courtyard will not happen in Wal-Mart.

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><p>"WAIT! COME BACK! BUY ME TEA!" screeched Peach after the Landmaster, even though she knew they were long gone. Everyone else was grumbling, stomping their feet, licking their wounds, or declared vendetta.<p>

"Someone has to go after them." growled Bowser. Everyone suddenly shot a glance at Sonic. The hedgehog glared back at all of them.

"Oh, so what? Just because I'm fast, I have to chase them? You know what, screw you guys, I'm going back to my room." said Sonic, turning away from the others and running back to the dorms. With the obvious solution gone, everyone else started arguing on who should chase after the Normals.

"I could get them." volunteered Zelda. Suddenly, she morphed into Sheik. "No! I'll get it!"

"I-I could get it. I need sunflower seed bread." Lucas suddenly frowned, devolving into a creepy tone. "If I don't get sunflower bread, I will unleash PK Star-Shitstorm on all of you."

"Calm down." said Ness, patting Lucas on the head like a dog. "We could ask Charizard to fly over there."

"What! No! I'm fricking tired! Sonic's right! Screw you guys!" yelled Charizard, flying away. Everyone was silent.

"How about we draw straws?" offered Pit nervously.

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><p>Everyone was breathing heavily inside of the Landmaster... and no, not like that, you sick monkeys. They were relieved that they managed to escape from the scrap.<p>

"That was completely terrifying. It was like zombies were surrounding and chasing us." said Falco, who was authentically traumatized by the event.

"We're not in the clear yet." pointed out Meta Knight.

"Yeah, we still have to do the actual shopping." said Lucario. Everyone in the Landmaster was silent.

"...Shiiiiiiit." groaned King Dedede.

_To be continued..._

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><p><em>Sorry if this was a short chapter, but I noticed that I already had half the chapter done, so I decided to just get it out of the way as quick as possible.<em>


	3. Lunchtime Shopping Part 2

_I'm sorry that this is somehow more shorter than the last chapter, but I got sick, so I'm not in a writing mood. However, since I already wrote up the first half by then, I decided that I may as well finish it._

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><p><em>LUNCHTIME SHOPPING - PART 2<em>

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><p>"Hello, welcome to Wal-Ma... rt..." The Wal-Mart greeter was utterly baffled by the sudden appearance of a tank. He was even more confused when a midget, a dog-thing, a fat penguin, and a bird came out of it. Ah. The troubles of being a normal human living near the establishment of insanity known as Smash Castle.<p>

"Hello greeter-human! I hope you don't mind this, but can you pilot this tank and shoot at any suspicious person coming after us? That would be appreciated." said Lucario. Falco threw the keys to the Landmaster at the greeter as he followed his entourage into the Wal-Mart Supermarket. The greeter pinched himself repeatedly to wake himself up, but was shocked to find that he wasn't dreaming. After that however, he immediately got into their tank for two reasons: one, the customer is always right, and two, when do you get the opportunity to drive a tank?

They entered the store, briefly getting stopped by some Wal-Mart employees. All it took was to flash them with their IDs, which said they were Smashers. The Wal-Mart staff (minus the greeter, who's apparently a new guy) let them pass, as they know the Smashers too well. Meta Knight looked over the list of things to buy. "Okay, it looks like we should split up to get the job done quickly. Dedede, go get the frozens. Lucario, get fruits and veggetables. Falco, you can get drinks and grain items while I get meat. Agreed?"

"Nope." said Dedede.

"Big surprise. The king doesn't want to pull his fat, heavy weight. Alert the press." said Falco.

"That's not what I meant! You see, I have this idea..." said Dedede.

"Really? Care to share?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yes. Okay... WADDLE DEES, COME OUT, YOUR KING DEMAND IT!" yelled Dedede. Out of nowhere, a large legion of Waddles Dees appeared, enough to fill up an entire aisle. "Dees, I want you to get all the items on this list, pronto!" He held the list up high for all the Waddle Dees to read. After just twenty seconds, the Waddle Dees run off to get all the required items for the grocery trip. Dedede turned to the others, wearing a smug grin.

"...Good job Dedede." admitted Meta Knight.

"...That was lazy and completely brilliant at the same time." said Lucario.

"...Where... where do you get minions? I want minions!" yelled Falco.

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><p>Meanwhile, a helicopter was flying toward Wal-Mart. Within the helicopter was Snake, Mario and Samus, who decided to team up since they wanted the same stuff.<p>

"So, what's-a the plan?" asked Mario.

"We break in, find the Normals, and shoot them until they give us the credit card." said Samus.

"I was thinking of something a little more... discrete. I suggest we all hide in boxes, sneak up on them, and steal the credit card while they're not paying attention. Of course, we have to do our shopping with the boxes on, but it's a price to pay for safety." suggested Snake.

"That's a stupid idea."

"_ARE YOU TRYING TO ASSASSINATE ME?_"

"...What made-a you think she was-a trying to assasinate-a you?" said Mario. Immediately after he said that, a large energy beam flew past them, barely missing them.

"See! She_ is_ trying to assassinate me!" yelled Snake.

"That makes no sense! For one, I'm standing right next to you!" yelled Samus.

"Then where are-a those shots coming from?" asked Mario. Snake started to lower the helicopter so they could get a better look at what's shooting at them, while avoiding more energy shots. Soon, they could perfectly see what's shooting at them: the Landmaster. The Wal-Mart greeter was having the time of his life, driving a tank and shooting at a helicopter. Snake flew out of the way, continuing to advance toward Wal-Mart.

"You two, grab some parachutes and parachute down to Wal-Mart. I'll try to distract the Landmaster. Oh yeah, and don't forget your cardboard boxes." said Snake.

Samus, who was putting on her parachute, briefly paused. "We're not doing that."

"Why not? Oh, is it because _you're an assassin?_"

"Just ignore him. Let's-a go!" yelled Mario, jumping out of the helicopter, Samus following shortly after.

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><p>While the Waddle Dees were doing the shopping for them, the Normals spent their time in the bookmagazine section of the store. Even with all the Waddle Dees, it would still be awhile until the Waddle Dees got everything they need.

"How come all these teen magazines have Justin Bieber in them?" complained Dedede.

"...Why are you even reading those magazines?" asked Falco, who was slightly amused.

"For... the... cooking recipes?" This was the first excuse that came to mind. And it was a terrible one at that.

Suddenly, there was the sound of something breaking along with the screams of several shoppers. "What was that?" asked Meta Knight.

"I'll see with my powers..." said Lucario. He closed his eyes, drawing upon his aura-based powers. His vision shifted to the scene of the noise: Mario and Samus had just broken in through the ceiling and was currently questioning people on where they were. "Oh god no. Mario and Samus are here."

"Crap! They're going to shoot us and then set us on fire, I just know it! Dedede, when will your Waddle Dees be done?" asked Falco.

"I don't know. Hey, Dee." King Dedede called to a random passing Waddle Dee pushing a shopping cart. "When will you guys be done?"

"We're almost finished king!" answered the Waddle Dee.

"Well hurry up! We need to get out of here, pronto!" said Dedede. The Waddle Dee gave a little salute and ran off.

"Okay, so, what are we going to do? Fight them?" asked Falco.

"We can't do that. That might get us banned from the store. We just need to hide out somewhere. Preferably a place they wouldn't go to..." said Meta Knight.

"The pet section? We're hiding in the pet section?" said Falco. They were now hiding in the pet section of the store, which sold various pet food, toys, and goldfish.

"Yeah, well, neither Mario nor Samus have a pet, so it's unlikely for them to come here." said Meta Knight. In a genre blind world, this may turn out to be the case. But unfortunately, everyone in this world was genre savvy, and so, they were only slightly surprised when Mario and Samus actually showed up.

"See! I-a told you that they-a would be hiding somewhere we-a wouldn't go to!" said Mario.

Samus pointed her arm cannon at them. "So, what will it be? The credit card or your lives?"

"Or how about... fish food!" yelled Dedede. He grabbed a can of fish food, opened it up, and threw the entire contents onto Mario and Samus, who were not amused.

"...What was that supposed to accomplish?"

"Seriously, what was-a the point of... ARRGH!" screamed Mario. All of the goldfish in the nearby fish tanks suddenly flew out of their tanks and attacked Mario and Samus, biting them while trying to get their delicious food. Falco turned toward Dedede.

"Did you get that off of Family Guy?" asked Falco.

"Maybe." said Dedede.

"Alright..." Lucario was using his aura powers again. "Your Waddle Dees finished getting the stuff. We just need to pay for them and get out of here."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get going!" said Meta Knight.

_To be continued..._


	4. Lunchtime Shopping Part 3

_OH GEEZ this chapter is somehow shorter than the others. I'm starting to think that I should have just written the entire arc in one chapter. Yeah. That would be more sensible._

_I blame Doctor Who for this. Yeah. I'm looking at you Donna Noble._

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><p><em>LUNCHTIME SHOPPING - PART 3<em>

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><p>Our heroes ran toward the check-out, running away from Samus and Mario, who managed to break the tiny necks of the fish assaulting them. No, you're not hearing me wrong. That's precisely what happened. Samus raised her arm cannon and fired off a missile, which completely missed the group and destroyed a rack of muffins. That's when they crossed the line. How dare they hurt the innocent muffins?<p>

"I'm sorry sirs, but you must leave. Forever." said a Wal-Mart employee.

"I'm a girl." growled Samus.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. But still, get out." Mario responded to this by punching the poor guy in the face. Meanwhile, the Normals reached the checkout lane, which was swarmed with Waddle Dees pushing shopping carts.

"Okay, we're almost in the clear! As long as the Wal-Mart employees keep distracting them, we're safe." said Meta Knight, watching as another guy went to stop the terrible team-up that is Mario and Samus.

"Right, who has the card?" asked Falco.

"I do." said Lucario. He reached into hammerspace and pulled out... his empty hand? "...Uhhh..."

"You lost it didn't you?"

"No!" defended Lucario. "I kept a tight hold on it... where...ever it was."

"It could have been stolen. It's not exactly out of the question." said Meta Knight. They looked around for anyone suspicious. However, the customers were either doing their normal behavior or were watching Mario and Samus beat the crap out of Wal-Mart employees, who were quickly losing hope of defeating them. "Do you see anything?"

"My aura vision won't let me see items clearly." said Lucario, darting his sight over everyone.

"Nothing suspicious." said Falco.

"I see a walking box." said King Dedede. That's when they noticed it; a cardboard box was walking toward the exit, hoping to get away in all of the confusion. Lucario smacked himself in the face. How he managed to miss that, he would never know. He walked up to the box and kicked it away, leaving Snake exposed.

"Oh. Hello. I'm just here to buy some copy paper. ...I'll be leaving now." said Snake. He tried to crawl away, but Lucario picked him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Oh no you don't." said Lucario. He fished his hand into Snake's pocket and pulled out the glorious, shiny credit card.

"Mario! Assassin! They have the credit card!" yelled Snake. Mario and Samus turned toward the Normals to glare at them when they got knocked over by Snake, who got thrown by Lucario. King Dedede glanced at the girl checking out their items.

"Will you hurry up?_ Before we all die?_" he asked.

"Please don't rush me sir." said the girl. The other Normals were watching Samus, Mario, and Snake get up, figuring out a way to get out of this. All of the Wal-Mart employees have lost motivation and was walking away, pretending that none of this ever happened. That's when Meta Knight got an idea. And it wasn't a very morally good one. He went into a cashier booth thing and searched for an intercom thingy. Look, I don't know how Wal-Mart works. His voice was magnified by the intercom...

"Attention all Wal-Mart employees. A $200 tip will be given to the employee who knocks the suited bounty hunter, plumber, and paranoid man standing in the middle of the store unconscious. Thank you for your time." said Meta Knight. Everything was quiet at first. Then came the storm. The three enemies were suddenly swarmed by the minions of Wal-Mart. Since they were ordinary humans, it would be impossible for them to knock the villainous heroes out (except for Snake, the most normal of the bunch (and by normal I don't mean in terms of sanity).), so Meta Knight can get out of paying anyone. The girl just looked at the fight curiously before scanning the final item.

"That will be $1025.78. Will that be cash or credit?" she asked. Lucario handed her the credit card and was amsued when he saw her eyes widen from looking at the funds on the card. She rung it up and handed the rather pointless change. The Waddle Dees, who had already stuffed everything in bags, started pushing the carts toward the exit. The Landmaster was already parked outside by the guy, who was disappointed that he couldn't shoot down the helicopter. The Waddle Dees pushed the carts in through a hatch in the back. The guy wanted to say something about not stealing the shopping carts, but decided that this day was already ridiculous enough and walked away. The Normals piled into the Landmaster and drove off, heading back toward Smash Castle. Shortly afterward, Mario, Samus, and Snake managed to escape the crowd and into the parking lot, and they were frustrated that the Landmaster was no longer there.

"Damn it! They're gone!" yelled Samus.

"This was a waste of time." said Snake.

Mario turned around. "Er... they're-a coming back..."

* * *

><p>"I WONDER HOW THEY'RE DOING." said the Ancient Minister to himself. Then, unexpectedly, the Landmaster crashed right through the wall of the Ancient Minister's office, trashing utterly everything. A hatch opened up and an army of Waddle Dees pushing shopping carts ran out, running through stuff and making the room more of a mess than before. Falco stormed out of the tank, shoving the credit card into the Ancient Minister's face.<p>

"We're done shopping." said Falco before stomping out of the room.

"...I think he was annoyed that we had to go shopping." said Meta Knight.

"You think?" said King Dedede, following after him. Meta Knight shrugged and was on his tail, leaving Lucario and the Ancient Minister alone.

"It's funny how even the most normal of us Smashers have their moments." mused Lucario before going after his friends.

"...YES. YES INDEED." said the Ancient Minister, reflecting on what his office looked like before it was completely destroyed.

* * *

><p><em>END OF ARC 1<em>

* * *

><p><em>Well, first arc finished and I'm totally done with the third season of Doctor Who. Just two or three more seasons to go before I can actually get back to focusing on writing! Bwhahaha!<em>

_Ahem. Anyway, I currently can't decide which arc to pursue next... so why don't you guys decide? Head on over to my profile and vote on the poll! The poll will be closed on the 20th, and by then, I hope to be done with the fourth season._


	5. The Murder and Vengeance of Pitoo Part 1

_The votes have been submitted! And our new arc contains Uprising references, utter pwnage, and disproportional revenge! Yay! Revenge!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 2<strong>: THE MURDER AND VENGEANCE OF PITOO - PART 1_

* * *

><p>"ATTENTION! ATTENTION YOU CRAZY HUMANS AND OTHER LIVING THINGS!" yelled the Ancient Minister. He flew over the lunchroom, hoping to get the attentions of everyone eating lunch. The Normals had managed to get enough food to last them a week, so he was thankful for that, even though Falco trashed his office. Soon, everyone was looking up at him, wondering why he was interrupting their lunch time. "PIT HAS A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE."<p>

Pit stood on top of his table as everyone looked at him. "As Lady Palutena says, give gifts to people who deserve them, even if they endanger your life like monster pheromone..."

Falco threw an orange at his face. "Oi! Get on with it, I'm starving!"

The angel responded by calmly drawing his bow and shooting Falco in the knee. "Back to what I was saying, I brought gifts for everyone... _FREE COPIES OF UPRISING! REJOICE! HOOPLAH! YEAH!_" Out of nowhere, he threw copies of Kid Icarus: Uprising around, showering the room in game cases. Everyone proceeded to rejoice, hooplah, or simply yell out, "YEAH!" Meta Knight grabbed a second copy of the game for Lucario.

"Here, before everyone else hordes the rest." said Meta Knight.

"I don't need it." Lucario took out his 3DS and pulled out the game cartridge: it was Uprising. "I already have it."

King Dedede looked at him in disbelief. "How... _HOW DID YOU GET THAT BEFORE THE REST OF US!_" He yelled.

"Guys, it's been selling weeks ago; I picked a copy up at Wal-Mart when no one's looking. Apparently, I'm the only one with foresight and knowledge of the release date." Lucario glanced at Pit. "And apparently Pit had no idea it released until today. I blame his goddess."

The King turned as well, widened his eyes, and ducked onto the ground. "Incoming!"

Lucario stepped out of the way as a light arrow hurdles toward his head. Pit glares at him, flipping him the bird. "_**BLASPHEMY!**_" And he went back to giving out games as if nothing happened.

"...Okay then. How about we head somewhere private and play the game together? It'll be a nice bonding experience. Plus, Dedede needs company." said Meta Knight. King Dedede was about to say something, but closed his mouth upon realizing that that was very much true.

"Sounds like fun! Have to warn you guys though, I already have some high-ranking weapons." said Lucario.

"SOMEONE GET ME A BANDAGE MY LEG IS BLEEDING OH GOD THE PAIN" yelled Falco, somehow having been ignored for so long.

* * *

><p>The entire castle was in a great Uprising frenzy. Whenever they had some down time, it's almost completely taken up by the game. They played through the solo mode, laughing at Pit for the terrible dialogue he said during the adventure (apparently the events of Uprising took place before the Brawl tournament...) then patting him on the back and crying for him, seeing what happens to him in later chapters. They crafted weapons and traded gems to prepare for war against each other and the rest of the world, creating the best setup to completely dominate the competition. Most important of all, everone was happy... for now.<p>

Lucario, Falco, King Dedede, and Meta Knight sat in the castle's courtyard (which still had Landmaster treads), playing the multiplayer mode. While Meta Knight was teaming up with Donkey and Diddy Kong against a group named The Green Team (Luigi, Link, and Toon Link), Lucario, Falco, and Dedede formed a team against an unknown group. This unknown group has been owning the competition since the game began. However, that's because they did not have a run in with Lucario yet.

Lucario (aurachamp) was Pit, facing off against Dark Pit (LORDAWESOME), both on their last legs. Then Lucario makes a masterful manuever, getting behind Dark Pit and hitting him, finishing him off.

"Yeah! You totally creamed him!" cheered Dedede, offering Lucario a high five. The aura Pokemon also gave Falco a high five. Can't leave your teammates hanging.

"Great job." Meta Knight congratulated without looking away from his screen. "Enjoy it while it lasts though."

Falco looked at him confused. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Your victory was sure to hurt the pride they built up from being the greatest team. They may take revenge..."

"I doubt it. Although everyone here is crazy, you'd have to be evil to take revenge over a silly game." said Lucario, watching the other team ragequit. This is probably not a bad omen.

* * *

><p>"NOOOO!<em> CURSE YOU AURACHAMP!<em>" yelled Bowser in rage. He stomps on the ground repeatedly and blew fire, turning a random table to cinders. Mario and Peach started patting on Bowser's back, trying to get him to calm down.

"Calm down Bowser! Relax and have a cup of tea!" pleaded Peach.

"If you want to-a make fire, you can-a come fire fishing with-a me!" offered Mario. I don't know what fire fishing is, considering that I completely made it up, but I'm pretty sure it's awesome.

"_NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! HE BEAT US!_** DON'T YOU GUYS FEEL ANGRY?**" yelled Bowser.

Peach shrugged. "Not really."

"I take out my-a anger on wooden things." said Mario.

Luigi, who has been sitting quietly on his bed, yelled in frustration. "Argh! Knightmare beat-a me again!"

"Great! Do you feel angry Luigi?"

"Not-a really. I do feel like-a crying though."

"...Forget you guys." said Bowser. He walked up to their door and punched it down. "_**I'LL TAKE REVENGE FOR US BY MYSELF! I DON'T KNOW WHO AURACHAMP IS, BUT I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!**_" The other three was going to say that aurachamp was most likely Lucario, but they decided that telling him that would be a mean thing to do.

After Bowser had stomped off down the hallway, Mario stuck his head out where the door used to be. "This is-a why we're not-a friends!"

* * *

><p>"Seriously Lucario, you need to trade me your weapons." said Falco.<p>

"You need to pay hearts to convert weapons though, so it's not a very good idea unless you have a lot of hearts lying around." said Meta Knight. The group continued walking normally when they suddenly heard screaming.

"What was that?" asked Dedede.

"It's Bowser." said Sonic, who was running but stopped to talk to them. "Some idiot was dumb enough to beat him in a match."

"He loses in a lot of Brawls anyway." pointed out Dedede.

"No, not our fights! He got beaten in an Uprising match and he went crazy about it! Are all your Nintendo villains this crazy?" He ran off before they could say something.

"...This probably has something to do with you." said Meta Knight, looking at Lucario.

"Dude." said Falco, putting his hand on Bowser's shoulders. "He's going to tear you to shreds and bury it so we can't revive you. Going to miss you bud."

"No, I won't die. I'm pretty sure he'll be reasonable." said Lucario, leaving them. After several seconds, Falco, Dedede, and even Meta Knight burst into laughter.

"Bowser? Reasonable? That'll be the day!" guffawed Dedede.

Meta Knight chuckled as well but then he stopped chuckling when he realized what's going to happen. "Oh god, he's heading to Bowser right now."

Falco stopped laughing too, realizing that Lucario will indeed be ripped to shreds. "We have to stop him!"

And so the three tried to run off after Lucario, to stop him from trying to have a 'reasonable' conversation with Bowser.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>Based off a true story where I beat my friend in a match of Uprising. The next time we met, he punched me in the stomach. Despite that though, we're still best bros. Oh friendship, I'll never understand you. You're so complicated.<em>


	6. The Murder and Vengeance of Pitoo Part 2

_THE MURDER AND VENGEANCE OF PITOO - PART 2_

* * *

><p>Lucario casually strolled through the castle, looking for Bowser so he could have a rational discussion to prevent him from hurting anymore innocents. Obviously, he's unaware that trying to be rational with Bowser is a terrible, terrible idea. Luckily, before he could seek the Koopa king out, he got tackled to the ground by Falco. What are friends for?<p>

"Lucario, Bowser will kill you if he finds out you're aurachamp." growled Falco.

"I'm sure he'll listen to reason. Now get off of me. Seriously." said Lucario.

"Don't you see you idiot? Bowser's already an unreasonable idiot when he's not angry. Just imagine how he'll be like when he has an actual grudge!" yelled Falco. Lucario processed this, finally realizing that this is indeed a terrible idea. Then, they heard heavy footsteps heading toward them. Falco picked Lucario up as the footsteps got closer around the corner. "Shit, he's coming! We've got to get you out of here!"

Lucario replied with a nod as Falco began to drag him back to the rest of the group. Unfortunately, the footsteps kept getting closer. Meta Knight asked, "What do we do? There's nowhere to hide and he'll be suspicious if we run."

"We need something big..." said Falco. They thought long and hard... turning toward King Dedede.

"...Why are you guys looking at me?" he asked.

* * *

><p>"Losers! Front and center!" yelled Bowser, stepping in front of the group dramatically. He surveyed the group. Meta Knight was normal, Falco looked like a jerk as usual, and King Dedede... was fatter than he usually is.<p>

"He ate a lot for lunch." Meta Knight answered for Dedede. The giant penguin nodded, trying to keep his mouth closed for reasons that should be obvious to you.

"Uh-huh. So anyway, do you boring normal people know 'aurachamp'? He beat me in a match of Uprising, and _he needs to pay! Nobody makes a mockery of the great Bowser_!" yelled Bowser.

"I suppose Mario doesn't count?" said Falco. Bowser glared at him for a few seconds before punching his face. Yep, without Fox around, Falco's the new butt monkey. I apologize to everyone who didn't want to see Falco get punched in the face.

"Bowser, I assure you that none of us is 'aurachamp'." lied Meta Knight. Bowser looked like he was going to clock him too, but instead, Bowser turned off, heading into another direction. Since Meta Knight was the msot truthful person in the castle, he assumed that he was telling the truth. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, turning back to them.

"Hey, where's that blue chump that hangs out with you?" asked Bowser.

"Courtyard." answered Meta Knight. Bowser huffed and headed toward the courtyard so he could press Lucario. When he was out of sight, King Dedede's mouth opened as Lucario climbed out of his stomach in a nonchalant manner.

"Thanks for hiding me." said Lucario. King Dedede responded by bonking him on the head with the hammer.

"You taste horrible! If you hide inside my mouth ever again, _I'll end you!_" yelled Dedede.

"That's fair I guess."

"Ow... God this story hates me." muttered Falco before getting on with the plot. "Okay, we have to find a place to hide you until he calms down."

"I propose we hide him somewhere Bowser isn't likely to loo-" said Meta Knight.

"We tried that two chapters ago you idiot! And that went real fabulously!" yelled Falco sarcastically.

"...I'm not an idiot." Meta Knight said in a quiet voice.

"Maybe we could hide in the item storage place." suggested Dedede. "No one goes to that boring place anyway and there's weapons there."

"Perfect." said Falco.

* * *

><p>They were hiding out in a large storage room that was filled to the brim with items used for brawls. Huge pipes hung overhead that moved around, sucking up items to be used in the current match. And now you know where the items come from. Anyway, Meta Knight and Falco was stacking up a fort with several crates, with King Dedede and Lucario hiding inside.<p>

"Okay, you'll stay here until the storm passes. Get food from the party balls if you're hungry." suggested Meta Knight as he put a crate in place.

"Wait, they keep food in the party balls? And we don't use them for lunch?" asked Lucario.

"They're stuffed with so many preservatives that they're tastless junk. Still good for solving your hunger problems though." said Falco.

"And tell me why I'm staying with him again?" said Dedede.

"You're the tank, so you'll have an easier time defending Lucario if Bwoser finds you guys." said Meta Knight.

"But..."

"Me and Meta Knight have a match later anyway. Get the hell over it." said Falco, leaving the room with Meta Knight. To further prove that theyre on their own, he shut off the lights, leaving them in the dark.

"...I'm scared." admitted King Dedede.

* * *

><p>Falco and Meta Knight were headed towards the stage teleporter room in preperation for their match, which wasn't actually a lie so they could get out of protecting Lucario. But as they neared the room, they heard Bowser's angry stomps. They turned to see the giant turtle confronting them.<p>

"_Where's Lucario?_" growled Bowser. Judging by his anger, Meta Knight and Falco figured that Bowser had spent the last hour since they last seen him threatening the other Smashers and finally figured out that 'aurachamp' is Lucario. They shared glances before looking back to Bowser.

"Haven't seen him." lied Falco. He jumped backward before Bowser's fist could connect with his face.

"_Don't lie! He's so obviously aurachamp!_"

"And you didn't realize it till now?" said Falco with mild amusement. His eyes widened as Bowser took out a Bob-omb and threw it into his face. He took out another one, this time threatening Meta Knight.

"Go ask the Minister. We don't know." said Meta Knight, string at the bomb in his hands. Bowser could tell he was lying this time, but he still made a good suggestion. Bowser walked off in search of the Ancient Minister as Falco wiped the soot off his face.

"Cough... why would you tell him to ask the Minister? He might tell Bowser where Lucario is!" yelled Falco, calling Meta Knight out.

"It'll be okay. Its not as if the Ancient Minister knows where everyone is at all times." said Meta Knight.

* * *

><p>The Ancient Minister looked at a computer. "UH-HUH. ACCORDING TO THESE SENSORS THAT TELL ME WHERE THE TRACKING DEVICES I HID IN ALL YOUR FOOD IS..." Bowser felt uncomfortable about this fact, but anger overrided the will to throw up his lunch. "...LUCARIO IS IN THE STORAGE ROOM WHERE WE KEEP OUR ITEMS."<p>

"...You guys actually keep that stuff somewhere?"

"WE DON'T USE MAGIC TO SUMMON THEM. NOT SINCE JIGGLYPUFF GOT ARRESTED FOR BLACK MAGIC. ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU GIVE LUCARIO MY CONDOLENCES. I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD AN EMBARRASSING SKIN CONDITION THAT FORCES HIM TO HIDE FROM EVERYONE ELSE."

"Yep. _I'll give him your condolences all right._" said Bowser with an evil grin.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>You know, I'm sort of used to updating this story in small bursts. It's grown on me.<em>

_Also, I've made a tumblr awhile ago. I was just using it to track the people I like, but I may as well do something constructive with it. Just type in my username without uppercases and put the tumblr end thingy. I might use it to post progress on things I'm currently writing. And reblog Homestuck shit. Right then, see you guys in the next part of The Normals!_


	7. The Murder and Vengeance of Pitoo Part 3

_THE MURDER AND VENGEANCE OF PITOO - PART 3_

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey!<em> I know you're here Lucario!" said Bowser as he stormed into the item storage room. He turned around and blew a huge fireball at the top of the entrance. Some concrete blew apart and promptly landed in front of the door; the only door I might add. He turned back to the vast land of items and crates. "_Come on out!_" Lucario and King Dedede squeezed further into their crate hideout as fear arose, as well as curiosity.

"He blocked the only exit. That's actually pretty smart." said Dedede, surprised by Bowser actually using a strategic move.

"He must be_ that_ focused on getting revenge." said Lucario quietly. He engaged his aura vision mode, trying to look for another way out of the room. As he did that, Bowser marched toward a pile of crates, took a deep breath, and blew, making the crates burst into flame.

"Not there... _where are you!_" yelled Bowser, proceeding to set another group of crates on fire. King Dedede started shivering, knowing full well that he'll be killed for protecting Lucario. Even though he didn't want to in the first place.

"I'll get us out of this." whispered Lucario. He picked up a pebble (yes there were pebbles there, shut up) and threw it into a specific batch of crates. Bowser, reacting to the noise, immediately pounced toward the crates, believing that Lucario was hiding there. However, Lucuario was (obviously) not over there. Instead, there were explosives, which only Lucario could see. Bowser widened his eyes to a comical size as he saw the word EXPLOSIVES on the crates he was falling toward...

**BOOM!**

Bowser was hurled elsewhere in the room as things continued to burst into flames. Dedede broke through the box fort, wanting to take the chance to get out of there.

"Hurry, before that guy comes after us!" yelled Dedede. He waltzed over to the entrance and tried to smash the rocks with his hammer, but to no avail. The concrete was so strong that it couldn't be broken by a hammer... then again, a fireball blew it up. You know what, let's not think too much into this. Let's think about the story. Yes. Forget all aspects of logic and get back to reading.

While King Dedede was trying to smash the rocks to no avail, Lucario scanned the room, looking for something. Then, he grinned, spotting something rather unorthodox but extremely helpful. "Follow me!"

"You found another way out?"

"No. But I found a way to fight back."

"...You're joking right." said Dedede, wondering if Lucario got brain damage in the last 20 seconds.

"Bear with me." said Lucario, shaking his head. He sprinted off deeper in the maze of crates. Dedede, not wanting to be alone, tagged after him.

"Okay, what are we looking for that's so damn important?" asked Dedede.

"You'll see." said Lucario, who's oddly cheerful for someone getting chased by a turtle dinosaur thing. Speaking of the turtle dinosaur thing, the turtle dinosaur thing burst in through a crate, covered in food generated by a party ball.

"**_Stop calling me a turtle dinosaur thing!_**" yelled the turtle dinosaur thing. Bowser looked at Lucario. "_And you! **I'm going to smash your face in so hard that you'll wish you never had one!**_"

Lucario casually looked over to Dedede, ignoring the turtl- Bowser chasing after them. "Knock over that box." Dedede knocked over the box Lucario referred to as he ran past it, spilling out... ah yes. One of the most ultimate comedy props: banana peels. Bowser's foot landed on one... and he flipped over and landed on his back, like the turtle dinosaur thing he is.

"**I'M NOT A TURTLE DINOSAUR THING! I AM BOWSER, KING OF THE KOOPAS!**" yelled Bowser, trying to get himself upright, while Dedede tried his best to keep himself from giggling.

"Over here!" yelled Lucario, standing in front of something covered in a table cloth. Dedede approached as the Pokemon pulled the table cloth off. "Here we go."

The penguin's jaw dropped. "Woah, are those actually..."

"Yes." said Lucario. On the table in front of them were actual Beam Claws, in pristine condition. By the looks of things, it was going to be an item to be used in the Smash tournament. Dedede picked up and examined a note sitting next to the set of claws.

_Dear Ms. Palutena,_  
><em>I'm sorry, but we won't use your Beam Claws in the Brawl tournament. Not only has it not been introuced yet to the real world (I'm making a request to Sakurai to fix that problem), but it's ridiculously overpowered. I once tested it out and I accidently sliced through an entire wall. Which was behind a bunch of other walls. You get the point, right? So anyway, I'm mailing these back to you. The only thing that would prevent me from doing so is if someone hijacked the Subspace Army behind my back and revolted against me, but what are the chances of that happening?<em>  
><em>-from, Master Hand<em>

"...Stupid Master Hand for rejecting these and stupid minister guy for not reinstating it." grumbled Dedede.

"There you are! Now I got you in my clutch-" Bowser reappeared, ready to destroy Lucario when he saw what he was holding. "..._are those Beam Claws?_"

Lucario proved that they were indeed Beam Claws by shooting several lasers into Bowser's chest, blowing him backwards. He looked at the Beam Claws, astonished. "These things are great!"

"Yep." agreed Dedede, shoving the rest of the Beam Claws down his mouth and into his protective stomach for cheating purposes later. Bowser popped up to attempt to attack again, but Lucario shot him again. The foe that they've been fearing for the last hour was now curling up in a ball, crying in pain. Lucario felt sorry, so he approached Bowser to comfort him. Dedede looked at Lucario with a wild expression, astonished that Lucario still considers peace as an option for dealing with a pissed off Bowser. "Don't go near him you idiot!"

But it was too late. Lucario was stretching out a hand to help out Bowser, putting the Beam Claws aside. "I'm sorry if that hurt you too much."

"The one who will be hurting..._ is you, sucker!_" snapped Bowser. He grabbed Lucario by the leg and in a swift movement, jumped into the air, and landed on top of Lucario, pinning him to the ground. He raised his fist, prepared to punch him. _"Goodbye aurachamp!_"

"Oh no you don't!" said Dedede defensively, grabbing Bowser's arm before he could punch Lucario. Bowser responded by punching him with his other fist.

_"Stay out of this fatty!_" growled Bowser. He turned back to his prey.. who had the Beam Claws back in his hand, pointed at Bowser's head.

"Don't hurt my friends." said Lucario with a casual but frightening tone. He fired exactly one shot, skewering Bowser's head. Bowser was transformed into a trophy, having been instantly killed. Lucario pushed the trophy off of him, taking a breath of relief, glad that this nightmare is over.

Dedede was rubbing his face, which was hurting a lot. Despite that though, he too was happy. "Yeah! You took him out like a total badass!" He paused. "Now what?"

"...For one, we could extinguish that fire." said Lucario in a deadpan tone, looking at a raging fire that had broken out thanks to Bowser's fiery breath and the explosions.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Smashers stormed into the item storage, as the smell of ash and loads of smoke would be hard to not notice. Lucario and King Dedede, who were slightly burnt in a terrible off-screen firefighting attempt but was otherwise okay, were rescued from the burning room. Bowser was revived and after some questioning by the Ancient Minister, he recieved a two week punishment of no junk food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which is terrible to him. Meta Knight and Falco apologized to the two for leaving them alone with Bowser, and that if they helped, there would have been a less likely chance of fires breaking out. And so, people continued to Brawl, do their nonsense, and play Uprising. So everything worked out okay I guess.<p>

Except King Dedede opened up a black market selling Beam Claws, effectively taking control of the Smash Castle's economy. People started to cheat like crazy in their matches, ruining bets along with the patience of everyone who actually played fair. And so things spiraled into chaos, which ultimately lead to the Ancient Minister flying around and shooting rioting Smashers in the kneecaps with a revolver. Somehow. Basically, a lot of Smashers suffered and King Dedede got off free, while also having made a fortune.

But he's one of the main characters, so that can be forgiven. Hey, people forget that Cartman from South Park is a complete monster on a regular basis, so why not?

* * *

><p><strong>END OF ARC 2<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Right, that's another arc down. Also, speaking of Uprising, I'd be interested in playing some of you sometime. Maybe I'll post my Friend Code on my profile? Oh whatever. Also, speaking of my profile, I'm going to put up another poll to decide the next arc, because I'm terrible at making my own decisions. The poll will open shortly after I post this chapter and it'll be closed on... the 20th again. Why the hell not. Go democracy or whatever.<em>

_Oh yes, and I started a tumblr awhile ago. Just type in my username (all lowercase letters) and the tumblr end-y link-y thing. I'll post previews of some things I'm making and you can ask me questions. Fun for the whole family._

_Anyway, see you guys on the next chapter of The Normals, whatever it may be about!_


	8. Misadventures in Cooking Part 1

_Sorry for the delay, but with school finally over, I found the time to write this chapter! Plus, as soon as Attack of Giygas finishes, this will gain full time attention, along with an upcoming story! Wowzers!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 3<strong>: MISADVENTURES IN COOKING - PART 1_

* * *

><p>"I UNDERSTAND YOU ALL KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE, CORRECT?" said the Ancient Minister.<p>

He was talking to the Normals inside the castle's kitchen. Our heroes were tired, cranky, and very confused, to the contrary of the minister's statement. Falco was the only one with the nerve to question him. "Yes. We totally understand why we were dragged out of our beds at four in the morning."

"WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM?" said the robotic leader, producing a robotic arm to point at King Dedede. Everyone looked at him.

"Hey, what did I do?" defended Dedede. "I haven't done anything evil in, like, a solid four months!"

"...Dedede, you sold Beam Claws on the black market, allowing people to cheat in their matches and you effectively crippled the castle's private economy. That's a bad thing." pointed out Meta Knight.

"I'm not complaining."

"Of course you didn't! You profited from the entire incident!"

"Says you." said the king, adjusting several gold rings he had on his fingers.

"Don't see why the rest of us are here." said Lucario.

"THE REST OF YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH HIM."

"Wha- _THAT'S COMPLETELY UNFAIR!_" objected Falco, who clearly didn't want to be roped into this.

"TOUGH." stated the Ancient Minister. "AS PUNISHMENT FOR DEDEDE'S BLACK MARKET ORDEALS, I ORDER ALL OF YOU TO COOK BREAKFAST FOR THE REST OF THE CASTLE TODAY." Everyone raised their hands to object. "IT'S EITHER THAT OR EXECUTION." Everyone put their hands down except for Meta Knight.

"That's completely illegal." said Meta Knight.

"AT LEAST YOU CAN BE REVIVED. BUT IT WILL BE A PAINFUL EXECUTION, SO THAT'S STILL THE WORSE CHOICE. SO, I TRUST YOU ALL KNOW HOW TO COOK, RIGHT?" Everyone raised their hands again but the Ancient Minister started to turn to leave the kitchen. "WELP, HAVE FUN. REMEMBER TO COOK A LOT, OR THE OTHER SMASHERS WILL GET ANGRY AND MURDEROUS. BYE!"

He left the kitchen, leaving the Normals alone. The kitchen was fully stocked with fresh food and they have enough cooking equipment to cook for everyone. But there was one problem. Lucario looked at everyone else, posing a question that they were also going to state. "Do any of you know how to cook at all?" An awkward silence followed. "...This is bad. I can expect Dedede to not know how to cook, but I didn't know you guys didn't know how to cook either."

"Well, I never have the time to cook..." admitted Meta Knight.

"When you're flying in space, you only get to eat packaged foods. And what about you?" questioned Falco.

"I'm a Pokemon! Since when do Pokemon cook?" said Lucario.

"...It can't be too hard... right?" asked a very uneasy Meta Knight.

"Well... you cook eggs... in the microwave. I think." said Dedede.

Falco facepalmed. "This is going to suck."

"Wait, maybe we could just divide the tasks. It'll make things easier." said Lucario.

"That's a good idea. I'll be in charge of grain foods." said Meta Knight, already running off to look for a cookbook.

"I call the meats." said Dedede, walking off to probably devour all the meat products he could get his hands on.

"Eh. I'll make muffins and bagels and crap I guess." said Falco, looking at an oven and wondering how such a thing even works.

"Um... eggs and everything else I suppose." said Lucario, already at a loss on what to do.

And so all of them started to gather ingredients to get on the task their asshole leader sent them to do. Meta Knight found a rice cooker and a bag of rice and got on that, so he was getting on a pretty nice start. Dedede had some complications though. Said complications being him going crazy and eating the bacon and sausuges out of the fridge. After everyone beat him up for five mintues for eating the food and another five for getting them into this mess in the first place, Dedede started up the stove to start cooking. Falco found a Betty Crocker cookbook and he figured out how to work the oven. He felt pretty proud of himself. Lucario managed to procure eggs, fruit, and vegetables, so he was ready to cook as well. Everyone felt like they were getting off on a good start. Minus the Dedede thing, things were going well.

But of course, since this is one of _my_ stories, things will go to hell pretty fast.

"Hmm, fried rice looks good to make. Dedede, can you chop up some pieces of pork for me?" asked Meta Knight.

Dedede turned to him, his mouth full of sausuge links. "Bhut?"

"Just.. just dice some pork for me please." Meta Knight sighed and went over to Lucario's station. Despite having no experience in cooking, he was doing pretty well. "Lucario, do you have some scrambled eggs?"

"Sure, here you go." Lucario handed him a skillet full of scrambled eggs... which were covered in blue fur. Kind Dedede and Falco (covered in batter) crowded over to see how Lucario's cooking was as well. Even though the food was cooked good, they were all covered in his fur.

"You can't serve this stuff to the others, even if we hate some of them!" yelled Falco.

"What's the problem?" asked an authentically confused Lucario.

"There's fur in there, and even I know fur shouldn't be in food!" pointed out King Dedede.

"Hurry and do it over! The other Smashers will be awake in a few hours!" said the small knight. But then an explosion sounded in the background and he looked behind him in concern. Then bits of bread fell on them, confirming his suspicions. "Er... that would be my bread."

".._.How the hell did you blow up your bread?_ I thought you were using a cookbook!" yelled Falco in disbelief.

"I was, but as you can see, I'm, well, terrible at this. ...I need to go check on the pasta." Meta Knight ran back to his station before more food could explode. Falco sighed, wiping the muffin batter off himself. He looked up at Dedede and saw that he was once again eating.

"Damn it Dedede, will you stop with the eating already!" Falco kicked the penguin in the stomach to get him to spit out his food. He indeed did that... spitting his food and across the room, into one of Falco's ovens. It took only a few seconds for the oven and the muffins inside of it to catch on fire. All because of a spit up piece of ham. Falco glared at Dedede.

He raised his hands in defense. "Hey buddy, you did that, not me."

The avian realized he was right and slammed his head on the nearest surface. Clearly things weren't working out at all. Then he punched Dedede anyway.

"Ow... what was that for..." groaned Dedede.

"This is all your fault in the first place fatass!" yelled Falco. He walked over to the oven, grumbling on whether he should have just given up Lucario to Bowser or not, since it would have averted this tragedy in the first place. What tragedy is this? The death of Falco's poor muffins of course. Poor things never stood a chance. As he put out the fire, he wondered why all of the arcs except the last one involved food.

Seriously, why are there so many food related story arcs?

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>I am posing a legitimate question. That's it, in the next poll, I'm removing the banana one just to stop involving food everywhere. So, anyone wants to play Kid Icarus with me? I'll post my Friend Code on my profile, and you can send me yours. Fun times for everyone!<em>

_Anyway, have a nice summer!_


	9. Misadventures in Cooking Part 2

_I wasn't sure how to stretch this ridiculousness to three parts, since I'm not that knowledgeable in the art of cooking. However, this part will show everyone's reactions to the breakfast, so I hope that'll make up for it._

* * *

><p><em>MISADVENTURES IN COOKING - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>Last time on The Normals, they were...<p>

"The pasta!" screeched Meta Knight. Um... yeah. Anyway, they were forced into cooking breakfast for the entire castle thanks to Dedede. Hilariously/tragically, none of them had any idea how to cook, so things quickly went downhill. In fact, Meta Knight accidently blew up his bread. Just now, he managed to save his pasta, but he tripped on some egg yolk and the pasta went flying. He looked over at Lucario, since he was in charge of the eggs. "Lucario, what is this?"

"Sorry." said Lucario absent-mindedly, looking through drawers while knocking away more ingredients onto the floor. "I'm looking for a hairnet..."

"I don't think just a hairnet will cover you." said Falco, spraying a fire extinguisher into one of his ovens. Lucario nodded and ran off to look for something bigger. Meanwhile, Dedede was the only one not dealing with a disaster. Well, he kept eating food, but nothing was exploding, which made him automatically better than everyone else.

"Seriously guys. It says a lot when I'm doing better than you." snickered Dedede. Falco flipped him off and went over to Meta Knight's station.

"We have to sabotage Dedede. We can't let a lazy guy like him be better than us." whispered Falco.

"...Why? He's actually being helpful, and he's learning a valuable skill to use in life." pointed Meta Knight.

"...You just don't get it, do you?" He stormed back to his station, giving Dedede an evil glare and thinking of how to mess him up. But he decided to set revenge back for later and took out his muffins before they all died in another blaze of unglory. He took a bite out of one, and despite the burns, he decided it was still edible. Besides, if someone complains that the food is slightly burnt, Falco was very likely to roundhouse kick them in the face and call them out for their ungratefulness.

Lucario came back into the room... completely covered head to toe in potato bags, his only available arm sticking out with a long glove on. Normally, everyone else would glance at him, but they were a little busy cooking and making sure things aren't blowing up. As ridiculous as he looks, it prevented Lucario from getting his fur into the food. And so The Normals continued to prepare breakfast. Meta Knight tripped on his cape a few times and spilled whatever he was carrying, but otherwise his food turned out okay. King Dedede cooked without _known_ incident, which was surprising to everyone. Lucario threw out all his fur covered food and cooked a new batch. Lastly, Falco burnt some of his things, but it was all still edible, and like I said, he won't give a damn if anyone hated it. Then, at around 6:30, the kitchen doors flew open and the Ancient Minister entered, along with several Primids.

"AH, GOOD WORK GUYS. I'M SURE THE SMASHERS WILL LOVE IT." said the Ancient Minister.

"Er... sir?" A Primid inspecting the food poked him, but he didn't seem to care.

"HURRY ALONG AND GET THE FOOD TO THE CAFETERIA. WE DON'T WANT ANOTHER... INCIDENT AGAIN." The Primid sighed and went back to helping the other Primids in getting breakfast. Meanwhile, The Normals were high-fiving each other, feeling a sense of accomplishment.

"I can't believe we actually pulled it off." said Lucario.

"Welp. Let's go eat." said Dedede. He went to follow the Primids into the cafeteria, but Meta Knight grabbed the back of his robe.

"Not yet Dedede. We should see what the others think of it first."

"Hey, we're not bad enough cooks to give those guys food poisoning." muttered Falco.

"Shh. Just watch." They gathered around a window on the door facing the cafeteria. Soon, after the Primids got everything set up, the Smashers entered, and upon seeing the food, they were ecstatic. Sonic was the first to run in (obviously) and he tried out some scrambled eggs, only to spit it out in disgust.

"Ugh! These eggs aren't good enough for me!" spat Sonic, coughing out remaining bits of scrambled egg. Lucario frowned, but since this is Sonic, he wasn't all that concerned.

"Maybe being an asshole tainted your food." muttered Ike. He grabbed some of the scrambled eggs with his sword and flipped it into his mouth, but he immediately coughed it out. "Dear god who made this crap? ...Sword, I'm sorry for letting you touch that garbage." While he feverishly polished his sword (don't read that wrong yaoi fangirls), Lucario dropped his jaw, wondering what went wrong.

His wonderings were answered when Mr. Game and Watch bent down and examined the food. "IT SMELLS LIKE IT WAS BARELY COOKED."

"But... I did cook it. I even cooked it on the lowest setting so it wouldn't burn!" said Lucario.

"...Maybe that's why it's uncooked?" pointed out Falco.

"...Well darn you're right." Lucario gulped, hoping no one tried out his fried potatoes, knowing full well that they'll be terrible as well. Meanwhile, Fox took a plateful of bacon and plopped one in his mouth.

"Hmm. Tastes burnt." said Fox. Pikachu stole the plate and saw that all the bacon on the plate were nearly blackened crisps.

"Fox, this bacon is completely burnt. How did you not notice?" asked Pikachu. Fox shrugged. "Who's the idiot who made this?" Meta Knight and Lucario crossed their arms, giving Falco a disapproving look.

"...What? You think I did this? My plan was covering his food with salt!" defended Falco.

"...Yeah, this is my fault. I thought it needed to be a little crispy..." admitted Dedede.

"Completely burnt is not crispy, Dedede." said Meta Knight.

"You know, this bread is not bad." said Peach. They looked again and saw that Peach was eating a bit of bread while sipping some tea. Meta Knight felt proud that he didn't mess up.

"Who cares about bread!" yelled Pikachu. Meta Knight frowned, while reminding himself to give another futile lesson on manners to Pikachu later. "No one cares that much about that, and everything else is crap!"

"They have-a dessert food though." said Luigi nervously. He grabbed a muffin off of a rack and took a bite. Suddenly, he widened his eyes and spit it out. He then crawled away from the muffin like it was cursed. "T-That muffin is-a evil!"

Yoshi sniffed it. "...Smells salty."

"...Oh." murmurred Falco. "That's where the salt went."

"Alright! Who's responsible for this!" yelled Ganondorf, pissed off by the lack of good food.

"_I SAY WE TEAR THE KITCHEN DOORS DOWN!_" shouted Captain Falcon. Everyone behind him gave a roar of agreement (with the exception of Kirby, who was fine with the terrible food). The Normals ran from the door just as it exploded (don't ask), the Smashers entering through the smoke. "Of course! Those guys! They must be so fed up with us that they decided to poison us!"

"What." said Lucario, Falco, and Dedede.

"May I remind you that the bread and pasta isnt terrible?" said Meta Knight, trying to calm down the raging crowd.

"Shut up! We shall have your heads for attempting to kill us!" yelled Falcon, with everyone else agreeing with him.

"Hold on, before you murder us for the worst reasons you can think of, can I just point out that the Minister forced us into doing this?" said Falco, holding his hands up to prepare for the attack.

"DID SOMEONE CALL ME?" said the Ancient Minister, entering the already overcrowded kitchen. "ARE YOU ALL ENJOYING THE FOO- WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME." The Smashers had shifted their attention from The Normals to their leader.

"Why would you put those guys in charge of cooking? They suck!" growled Bowser.

"IT'S TO PUNISH THEM FOR DEDEDE'S BLACK MARKET DEALINGS." said the minister with growing worry.

"Wait, you punished all of them for Dedede's mistake? Wouldn't it have been easier for everyone if you just told Dedede to be a janitor or something?" said Captain Olimar, somehow being able to point out the most rational thing the Ancient Minister could have done, which would have prevented this entire idiotic event from happening.

"...UM..." Their leader didn't have an answer to that.

"GET HIM INSTEAD!" yelled Captain Falcon. The Ancient Minister flew out of the room in a panic while a mad mob of hungry Smashers chased him. The Normals just stood in silence, while hearing his agonized screams along with Kirby munching on the food everyone else chose to abandon.

"...Anyone else just want to cook up some pop-tarts and call it a morning?" said Lucario.

"Yup." agreed everyone else, looking for a box of Pop-Tarts and a toaster. Despite the terrible cooking, they still get to eat and they didn't get beaten up. All in all, it was a great morning.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF ARC 3<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, I thought it was a pretty short arc, but like I said, I couldn't figure out a way to stretch it out. So, fourth arc voting will begin as soon as I post this. I replaced the banana related arc idea, because I'm seriously tired with involving food into this story. Anyway, because status quo is god, the poll will close on the 20th. I swear, this will be a running gag. Welp, I'm going to use that time to write the last chapter of Attack of Giygas. See you guys around!<em>


	10. News Flash Part 1

_As I was writing this, I realized that Ness' personality was different then his iliteration from Attack of Giygas. But who cares._

_This and the disappearance of the children idea tied together in the poll, but since this arc has been waiting around longer than that one, this gets first pick. So without further ado, the fourth arc of The Normals!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 4<strong>: NEWS FLASH - PART 1_

* * *

><p>Ness and Nana were sitting under the light of the moon, having had dinner on the top of the castle together. Why? Because if you read Nana' Secret, you would know that I ship them. They were sitting across each other, looking into each other's eyes.<p>

"This was really great Ness." giggled Nana. "When will we have another date again?"

"Depends if we don't get caught." said Ness. You see, they were keeping their relationship secret. Whenever people start dating at the Smash Castle, people are either constantly egging them on (which is annoying), going yandere when they find out the person they love is dating, gives annoying dating tips, or a combination of the above. Basically, it would completely shatter any peace of mind the couple would have. If anyone were to know...

_CLICK!_

Ness and Nana turn to see a bush with a completely obvious camera sticking out of it. On top of a cobblestone castle roof. Ness snapped his fingers and burned away the bush with PK Fire, revealing Sonic and Diddy Kong, who were reporters for the Smash Gazette, which was the castle's own newspaper syndication. The two reporters glanced at each other before looking back at the two young lovebirds.

"Oh hey, we didn't see you there." said Diddy nervously.

"Yeah. This camera? Oh, I was taking pictures of myself like usual." said Sonic. Ness and Nana weren't convinced. They took a few steps toward them, brandishing weapons.

"Sorry guys! No one must know! Everyone thinks that Pit and Samus are my OTP!" said Nana.

"Too bad! We need something for the gossip section and- SCREW THIS I'M OUT OF HERE!" screamed Sonic. He turned and started to head for the stairs. Unexpectedly, Diddy grabbed onto his fur. Spikes. Hair? I don't know hedgehog biology, okay?

"Don't forget about me!" screeched Diddy like, well, a monkey. Unfortunately, this threw off Sonic's direction and he pased by the stairs and instead, plummeted right off the castle. Nana and Ness were initially speechless until they started to celebrate their demise. Nana took out a shovel.

"Hey, let's go on a grave digging adventure! No one will know if we bury their trophies,_ riiiight_?" said Nana. Ness stared at her.

"That is so underhanded... I love you."

* * *

><p>"...SO BECAUSE OF THEIR MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE, THE SMASH GAZETTE IS IN NEED OF NEW REPORTERS." announced Mr. Game and Watch, who was the editor of the Smash Gazette, during breakfast. "DUE TO THE APPARENT NEW DANGER, I ASK FOR A MINIMUM OF FOUR REPORTERS. I ALSO ASK TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR SONIC AND DIDDY KONG. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME!"<p>

While Ness and Nana feigned innocent, the other Smashers read through the newspaper. It announced standard things like the results of yesterday's matches, recent news throughout the Nintendo dimension, tips, and gossip. However, the gossip and tips section was severely lacking; Sonic and Diddy were in charge of those sections. Dedede put down his paper, dissatisfied by the lack of rumors. "We need new reporters."

"Agreed. The paper lacks some charm without their section... plus I need cooking tips." said Meta Knight, still embarrassed by his lack of culinary skills.

"Hey, maybe we can join." proposed Lucario.

"What? No. I refuse to do more work than we already do for no pay!" protested Falco.

"Listen Falco." Lucario began to whisper into his ear. "We're the reporters. We can choose what to report to Mr. Game and Watch. We can omit things and report lies. We have an influence on something the entire castle reads. Think about it." He left Falco there to think. And Falco thought it was brilliant.

"Well, I'm signing up!" said Falco excitedly, getting away from the table. Meanwhile, Meta Knight and Dedede stared at Lucario, shocked by the fact that Lucario suggested something so evil. Lucario noticed the dark looks they were giving him and shrugged.

"Hey, I'm not going to manipulate the newspaper. I only said that to motivate Falco... please stop looking at me like that." said Lucario. He got up, wanting to get away from them. Before scurrying off, he added. "What about you guys?"

"...I have to admit, it's an interesting idea." said Meta Knight. "I'll come anyway to make sure Falco doesn't get lies printed into the paper."

Dedede got up as well, giving a small shrug. "Eh. I have nothing better to do today."

The Normals went to Mr. Game and Watch, who had for some reason dragged an office desk into the lunchroom. He was wearing a sweet detective hat, because why not?

"HMMM... SO YOU GUYS WANT TO JOIN? DO YOU HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS? THE GUTS?"

"For one, we're the most normal people out of the rest of you idiots." said Falco.

"Plus we sort of put up with your stuff everyday. We have the guts." said Lucario.

"GOOD POINT." said Mr. Game and Watch. He opened up his desk and took out four boxes. "THESE WILL BE YOUR REPORTER TOOLS." They looked inside the boxes. There were cameras, notepads, several pens, and detective hats of their own. Then, he took out four more boxes. "AND THESE SHOVELS ARE FOR JUST IN CASE THE DEAD RISES."

"What." said Lucario.

"Hey, free shovels. Just take them." said Dedede, holding his brand new shovel while wearing his new detective hat.

"I HOPE YOU GUYS REPORT ON INTERESTING THINGS AND NOT BE LIKE FOX NEWS." said Mr. Game and Watch.

"What does that mean?" asked Meta Knight.

"HAVE JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY."

"Don't worry, we'll be upholding our integrity or whatever." said Falco, while plotting against the Smashers he hates and how to ruin them using the newspaper. While he was at it, he was also plotting againt everyone else. Meanwhile, Meta Knight just gave him a glare. He knew Falco hated everyone to some extent, and he knew well that he would take advantage of his new position.

* * *

><p>"Show me your lunch money!" yelled Captain Falcon, holding Toon Link by the scruff of his neck.<p>

"OUR FOOD DOESN'T EVEN COST MONEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" screamed Toon Link.

_CLICK!_

"Bullying children now, are you?" sai Meta Knight, holding a camera. "How distasteful. The entire house will be hearing about this."

"Er..." murmurred Captain Falcon. "I can explai- FALCON TOSS!" He threw Toon Link at Meta Knight.

"Wheeee!" said Toon Link, flying through the air like a majestic cartoon eagle. Meta Knight easily dodged, letting Toon Link fly through the window (he felt really bad about that afterward). Captain Falcon, without a weapon, chose to punch Meta Knight in the face. However, King Dedede stepped in front of him and swung his hammer at Falcon, knocking him into a wall. The crazy racer slid off, now unconscious. Falco was rapdily writing into his notepad.

" '...Falcon's wave of violence finally ended when Dedede knocked him out.' Done." said Falco, smirking a little.

"Wave of violence? _That's not how it went!_" objected Meta Knight.

"Hey, how else can you explain him just bullying Toon Link for no reason and attacking us? It's technically true." said Falco. Meta Knight sighed and turned to Lucario.

"Can you look for anything else suspicious in the castle?"

"On it." said Lucario, using his aura sight to look throughout the castle for a story, which Falco would presumably distort to his own needs, much to Meta Knight's annoyance. "There's something happening on the third floor, let's move."

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, I ship Ness and Nana. Deal with it. Anyway, Falco being a villainous protagonist instead of Dedede? Gasp! Well, even though Dedede is selfish, Falco pretty much hates everyone else to some extent, so making him villainous would make more sense. And now Ancient Minister appearance, wowzers! Then again, Mr. Game and Watch talks like him, so he's pretty much his replacement for this arc. Sorry ROB fans.<em>

_So anyway, I finished Attack of Giygas several days ago, and I'm proud of it. So please read it. But with that done, I'll be giving this story more attention. So expect another chapter in a few days instead of a week or two! Welp, Hyper is out. Peace!_


	11. News Flash Part 2

_A new chapter in a matter of days? Wowzers! Maybe the next poll won't end on the 20th this time. It's going to be July soon, so when I finish this the next poll will be on the 9th. Why the 9th? It'll be my birthday on that day! Whoopee!_

* * *

><p><em>NEWS FLASH - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p><em>'...after Captain Falcon was finished with beating on an innocent boy and attacking our intrepid reporters, he fought through the castle's law enforcement and made a clean getaway. However, his actions were not forgotten and was printed in the very newspaper that you're reading. Please bring this hardened criminal to justice!'<em>

A large group of Smashers was surrounding Captain Falcon while the reporters were patting themselves on the back for their good work. Except Meta Knight, who was in the process of scolding Falco.

"Fought through the castle's law enforcement? That never happened!" scolded Meta Knight.

"Hey, if we didn't knock him out, he would have done that anyway. Besides..." Falco looked at a screen displaying upcoming brawls. "I was due for a fight with that nut later anyway. One, two, three..." They heard Captain Falcon getting beaten up as the match schedule featuring him and Falco dissappared off the list. "...there you go. Now I have more freetime."

"I'm not letting you get away with another act of treachery." said Meta Knight.

* * *

><p><em>- The next day -<em>

_'...this picture shows Marth smooching with Roy in the men's locker room. While this would most certainly make fangirls swoon, a little research by reporter Lucario revealed that Marth has a wife back in his universe. Meanwhile, fangirls continue to stick with their Marth/Roy OTP, although some of them have begun to stick Shiida with them for smutty fanfiction. Who doesn't want to be romantically involved with both Marth and Roy at the same time? However, people who don't support Marth/Roy/Shiida is likely to be peeved by the fact that Marth is cheating on her...'_

Marth was trapped against a wall as the ladies of Smash Castle stomped toward him.

"How dare you cheat on your wife!" yelled Peach, wielding her frying pan.

"Please, that photo was faked! Plus, Roy would remember it!" pleaded Marth.

"Unless you drugged me!" yelled Roy, standing in the crowd of people wanting to see a fight.

"_Thanks for the support._"

"I will sing to you. _I will sing you to your death._" said Jigglypuff.

"No! Don't hurt me or my hair!"

And so the female Smashers begun their brutal beatdown of Marth in honor of his wife. Go girl power! The Normals were sitting at their table, enjoying a nice victory breakfast. Except for Meta Knight again.

"How dare you lie to everyone? Do you have a reason to get Marth beaten up?" said Meta Knight.

"He owed me some money." said Falco, casually sipping coffee. "I made a bet on the match between him and Pikachu, and I voted for Pikachu. Now that Marth's out, Pikachu wins by default and I recieve my reward. Not bad of a plan, huh?"

"You're despicable."

"...Hey, how did you even fake that anyway?" asked Dedede.

"I didn't. I just took it from an angle while Marth and Roy was talking and bingo, they looked like they were kissing."

Meta Knight then glared at Lucario. "And you! How could you support this lie?"

"Hey!" defended Lucario. "I thought it was legit. Plus, at least I reported a fact instead of a lie."

"Touche."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Falco went into Mr. Game and Watch's office, plopping a folder of evidence (read as: lies) for some new topics on his desk. Falco left the room whistling. Maybe if he continued his 'excellent' reporting, he could get promoted. Heck, maybe the Ancient Minister might replace Mr. Game and Watch with him. And then he'll practically be in control of the newspaper... While he was too busy fantasizing, he failed to notice Meta Knight running into the office.<p>

"Your days of tampering with the news ends now, Falco..." Meta Knight whispered to himself. He carefully strided over to the desk and looked inside the folder. Everything inside was mostly negative things that were either true but exaggerated and things that were completely made up. Meta Knight grabbed the folder and ran out the door, when he suddenly bumped into someone.

"GOING SOMEWHERE?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" apoogized Meta Knight.

"WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S THAT?" the 2D man snatched the folder from his hands. "THIS IS FALCO'S HANDWRITING! ...OH I GET IT NOW! YOU'RE JEALOUS OF FALCO'S SUCCESS AND YOU'RE TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIM!"

"No, just listen-"

"NOT ANOTHER WORD MISTER. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU WOULD GET JEALOUS... HEY, THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO PUT INSIDE THE GOSSIP SECTION!"

"Please don't." said Meta Knight.

"WHOOPS SORRY TOO LATE NOW." Mr. Game and Watch went inside of his office and locked the door. All Meta Knight could do was bang his head against said door.

* * *

><p><em>'..Meta Knight was fired last night, being accused of sabotage by the editor Mr. Game and Watch. He was also accused of corruption by Falco, whom Meta Knight was trying to sabotage. This is most likely true. We here at the staff of the Smash Gazette are deeply disappointed in him. We're pretty sure that you readers are disappointed in him as well.'<em>

"Darn it Falco." muttered Meta Knight, watching Falco get surrounded by admirers. "I can't believe he's getting away with this."

"Hey, at least he didn't spread rumors about your face." said King Dedede. He unfolded the paper and continued reading.

_'It is believed that the face under Meta Knight's mask is very hairy. See the artist's representation (by the editor) to see his magnificent beard.'_

King Dedede casually smacked Meta Knight's newspaper out of his hand. "Don't read that."

"What's wrong?" asked Lucario. He continued reading through his paper and saw what the problem was. "...Wow, that is quite the beard."

"That's it, I refuse to let him spread anymore lies." said Meta Knight. "In fact... let's beat him at his own game, for irony's sake."

"What do you have in mind?" asked Lucario.

"We'll beat him using lies and rumors. I've heard of this rumor going around the other Smashers..." Meta Knight began whispering said rumor into King Dedede's and Lucario's ears, and they begin to create a plan...

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>A short one, but it's mainly because I'll be writing up the rest of the arc for the next chapter.<em>

_To those confused, Shiida is the original name of Marth's wife, which is known as Caeda in the translation. The more you know..._


	12. News Flash Part 3

_Fourth of July in two days and then my birthday not too long after that... July is awesome!_

* * *

><p><em>NEWS FLASH - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>Meta Knight lead Lucario outside into the courtyard where the origin of the recent rumors were coming from. "...so basically, we'll investigate the rumor first and put it to our advantage when Falco comes." They went over to a spot that looks like it was dug in just a few days ago. Lucario looks through the dirt with his aura sight and nods.<p>

"There is definitely something down there." confirmed Lucario, taking out a shovel.

* * *

><p>"Zombies?" said Falco in disbelief. He and Dedede went to Mr. Game and Watch's office to get some tips on a story to folow, and the 2-D man just told them a rumor about zombies.<p>

"YEAH. ALL OF THE OTHER SMASHERS HAVE HEARD MOANING SOUNDS INSIDE OF THE COURTYARD. IT'S BEEN HAPPENING AROUND THE SAME TIME SONIC AND DIDDY DISAPPEARED, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S A COINCIDENCE!" explained Mr. Game and Watch.

"...That doesn't necessarily mean it's zombies. It could be something else, like-" began King Dedede.

Keep it PG-13.

The penguin shrugged. "Then I got nothing."

"WELL, THEN GO INVESTIGATE! IF THE ZOMBIES ATTACK, USE YOUR REPORTER SHOVELS." said Mr. Game and Watch. He then ducked under his desk, while clutching his own shovel. "IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I'LL BE HIDING UNTIL THE THREAT IS GONE. K BYE."

Falco and Dedede excused themselves from his office, while taking out their own shovels (which they were already carrying for some reason). Falco looked down at his, slightly amused. "Huh. Looks like these will be useful after all."

"Question. Do I have to help dig and fight?" asked Dedede.

"Yes... unless you want these photos of you eating vegetables to leak out!" threatened Falco, taking out several polaroids showing Dedede eating carrots and broccoli and the like.

"How did you get those?" gasped Dedede.

"You shouldn't leave your door open and... okay, what the hell do you find wrong with letting people know you eat vegetables?" asked Falco, appropriately confused as to why those polaroids are scandalous.

"I've built up a reputation of being a fat meat eater over the years, and I won't let it be ruined by carrots. Fine, I'll help." said Dedede. Falco hid the shocking evidence back into his coat while the penguin muttered, "Those carrots tasted lame anyway." As the two started to head for the courtyard, Meta Knight and Lucario jumped out from behind a random, out of place pillar, having eavesdropped on the entire conversation.

"Huh. King Dedede eats healthy sometimes. Who would have thought?" wondered Lucario.

"Not the point here." said Meta Knight. His eyes darted over to a clock. "It's almost lunchtime... time to start the next phase of Operation 'Reveal Falco for His Crimes'."

"That is a terrible codename."

The small knight sighed. "I know."

* * *

><p>As Falco and Dedede walked outside, clouds started to darken the sky, covering the sun. They could even hear a thunderstrike far in the distance. This was totally not ominous in the slightest. They walked around, looking for a good place to dig when they started to hear the moaning noises. Falco walked to where the moaning was coming from as thunder appeared in the sky above him. Rain started to fall as Falco started wielding his shovel dramatically. "Dedede, get over here and help me dig."<p>

"...but it's rainin-"

"Dig or vegetables!" shouted Falco, holding out the photos. Dedede was quick to get helping. The two dug through the dirt as rain and wind swirled around them. After five minutes of digging, they got out of the impressive hole they had already dug out and sat at it's edge. "Right... it's lunch, so let's take a break to eat, alright?"

"Yeah!" cheered Dedede, raising his arms. "Now you're speaking my language!"

"Brains..."

Dedede put his arms down and glanced down into the hole. "I really hope you said that."

Falco froze in fear before looking down the hole too. "Sorry to disappoint you."

Hands were rising out of the dirt and they made a grab for Dedede's robe, pulling him in. Dedede began screaming as Falco heard horrible chewing noises.

"Oh god! They're eating me!" Dedede tried to climb out, but he got dragged down further. "If I get out of this alive... get me a plate of ribs for lunch for me..." He went quiet. Suddenly, a hand shot out and it pulled it's owner out of the hole; it was a zombified Sonic. Almost immediately, a zombie Diddy Kong jumped out of the hole and joined him.

"...GET AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Falco in horror. He raised his shovel and tried to slam it down onto Diddy's head, but sadly, the monkey caught it, took it from his hands, and threw it into the pit.

"Ouch... I mean brains..." That's when Dedede crawled out of the dirt, now zombie looking. Falco picked up Dedede's shovel and tried to attack Sonic this time, but the hedgehog managed to block and disarm him as well.

"...Fat lot those shovels did for us!" yelled Falco, starting to run toward the castle. As he entered, he wondered why Mr. Game and Watch didn't give him something more useful, like a gun, but his thoughts pulled away from questioning others and toward survival. He considered hiding inside a closet, but then he remembered; it's lunchtime. All of the Smashers would be gathered in the cafeteria! Maybe they can help! He ran to the huge cafeteria doors and tried to pull them open, but unfortunately, it was locked. He glanced down the hall and saw that the zombies were on his heels. Then, a voice spoke from the other side.

"Sorry Falco, I'm not letting you in." said Meta Knight.

"Oh god, Meta Knight! Y-You don't understand, you have to let me in." said Falco in a frenzied tone.

"Why should I? You don't deserve to reap the rewards and praise from the others because of your lies."

"What! You aren't letting me in because of the newspaper? Are you freakin' kidding me!"

"No. But it's not as if you're in any danger."

"I am! Zombies are chasing me and they infected King Dedede!" screeched Falco. Meta Knight was momentarily silent.

"...Come on, from reading your articles, I know that you can make up better lies then that."

"JUST LET ME IN!" screamed Falco.

"On one condition."

"FINE, ANYTHING!"

"Admit that you're a liar."

"...OKAY FINE I'VE BEEN PUTTING LIES INSIDE OF THE NEWSPAPER! JUST OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" screamed Falco. Then, the doors actually swung open, revealing Meta Knight... along with all the other Smashers, who were giving him looks of shock and anger.

"You just got busted." said Lucario.

"B-Bu... but..." muttered Falco, on the verge of a mental breakdown. He felt a hand slap his back and he jumped. He turned and saw that Dedede was no longer making zombies noises, but he was laughing.

"We totally pranked you!" laughed Dedede.

"Wh-What."

"It was all a trick to get you to admit that you've been lying to all these people." said Meta Knight.

"But... Sonic... and Diddy..." said Falco, pointing at the presumed zombies.

"Oh, we were already trapped in that hole because of..." Diddy looked at Ness, who was threatening him with his basebal bat. "...reasons. We kept screeching to get someone's attention!"

"Then your buddies rescued us and convinced us to play along with their plan. I was a great zombie, if I don't say so myself." said Sonic.

"FALCO." said a voice. Falco saw Mr. Game and Watch digging his way through the crowd of Smashers. "CONSIDER YOURSELF FIRED. I WANT YOUR HAT ON MY DESK IN THE LUNCHROOM, RIGHT NOW!" Falco groaned and looked up at everyone else.

"You guys are going to beat me up, aren't you?" sighed Falco. Many Smashers, including Captain Falcon and Marth, nodded. Falco opened his mouth to say something when he immediately bolted. The angry Smashers formed a mob and started to run after him. Mr. Game and Watch went over to Sonic and Diddy before turning back to the other Normals.

"BY THE WAY, SINCE I HAVE MY MAIN REPORTERS BACK NOW, YOU GUYS ARE FIRED TOO. NO HARD FEELINGS."

"None taken." said Lucario.

"Whatever." said King Dedede, leaving to eat.

"Oh well. Justice was served." said Meta Knight. The three Normals went to get their lunch (DAMN IT I PROMISED MYSELF TO NOT INVOLVE FOOD) and settled themselves down at their table. Shortly later, Falco joined at the table, sporting many bruises and cuts. At first he was glaring at Meta Knight but then it turned into a smile.

"Heh. I have to admit, that was pretty good. Guess I deserved it." laughed Falco as the group dynamic repaired itself. And so they became friends once more.

Then for some reason photos of Dedede eating vegetables showed up in the next issue of the Smash Gazette, forcing Dedede to hide in his room. With revenge on 'not telling him about the plan' satisfied, Falco went back to being a member of The Normals and everyone was okay... except for Dedede, but he still sort of deserved it for the black market thing.

**_END OF ARC 4_**

* * *

><p><em>Whoop I am done! So, I won't be writing anything until after the 9th, which is when the next poll ends and, well, birthday. I know what a sad story. But I want to blow my time on stupid stuff for once. So anyway, have a nice fourth of July! And for non-Americans, have a nice day anyway!<em>


	13. Reign of the Garlic King Part 1

_Hello, guess who's back? So, I got a drawing tablet for my birthday, which is awesome! Now I can draw things, like my ships and Homestuck junk! Yeah, go fanboyism!_

* * *

><p><em>REIGN OF THE GARLIC KING - PART 1<em>

* * *

><p>"OPEN THE DOORS!" yelled a voice. The Normals hid behind a door, which was barricaded with Waddle Dees and Gordos since they couldn't find any furniture. "You are wanted by orders of the Garlic King! Any resistance and we will shoot you out of a cannon into the sun!"<p>

"Oh god, where did everything go wrong?" questioned Lucario. And I'm pretty sure you readers have the same question on your minds. Either that or you're questioning my sanity.

Let's move back a few days, shall we?

* * *

><p>The lunchroom was relatively peaceful (oh god again with the lunchroom). Everyone was eating and engaging in casual conversations. So yeah, it was normal for once. Of course, you guys probably know that the peace will be shattered. And that peace-shatterer came in the form of the Ancient Minister. He flew into the middle of the room and he actually shed off his minister clothes, turning into ROB. A suitcase was at his side, which was apparently inside the clothes with him.<p>

"SMASHERS, I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT I'LL BE GONE FOR A FEW DAYS." announced ROB. Instead of the misery he expected, everyone cheered. "...ANYWAY, I NEED TO GO SEE THIS NINTENDOLAND PLACE-"

"I'm going to have an attraction there!" yelled Captain Falcon.

"THAT'S NICE FOR YOU. SO, WHILE I'M GONE, I EXPECT ALL OF YOU TO BEHAVE. OR AT THE VERY LEAST NOT BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND. THAT WILL BE ALL." ROB then picked up his suitcase, activated his rocket boosters, and flew straight through a window.

"He... really is gone." said Wolf. There was a short silence before everyone erupted into a cheer so loud, it would mask the noise of an erupting volcano. Someone threw a party ball in the middle of the room and it dropped several smoke balls, which clouded the room with colorful smoke. Everyone thought it would look great for a rave. Then someone somehow hacked the lights in the lunchroom so it would be all flashy and rave-y. In just 45 seconds after ROB left, everyone was dancing in a sweet rave party. Lucario and Meta Knight however danced awkwardly, having something on their minds.

"Hey, why aren't you guys dancing hard enough?" asked King Dedede.

"Without the Ancient Minister here, this place will probably fall into chaos pretty quickly." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah, we have to be prepared." said Lucario, looking around for anything suspicious.

"As long as no one says, 'What could possibly go wrong?', I'm pretty sure we'll be fine." said Falco.

"What could possibly go wrong?" restated Lucario in an incredious tone. Falco facepalmed.

"Goddamn it."

"...So, I suggest we take cover under some tables." said Meta Knight.

"I'm right behind you." said Dedede.

* * *

><p><strong>~5 minutes later~<strong>

The Normals looked out from under their table, eating some snacks they salvaged from vending machines. Outside of their peaceful haven, it was pure chaos. Parts of the lunchroom was on fire, with various factions of Smashers hiding behind debris and throwing food or bombs (which came from another party ball). The smoke from the smoke balls had flooded the entire room, so thrown projectiles went in random directions. How come The Normals haven't been hit yet, I don't know. maybe they have a barrier of normality like how Switzerland and Liechtenstein has a barrier of neutrality. Yes that was a Hetalia reference, shut up.

"Will everyone stop fighting already!" called out Samus' voice. "The minister's been gone for only five mintues and... HEY! Who threw this! _Who threw this banana at me!_"

"It was Ike." excused Donkey Kong.

"It was not me and get bent." replied Ike.

"Someone must bring order here!" said Olimar.

"Yes! Let's hold an election!" chirped out Peach.

"So says the princess that was born into being ruler." muttered Falco.

"Who said that? I WILL THROW SCALDING HOT TEA IN YOUR FACE!"

"OH YES, AN ELECTION WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THE NEXT PAPER." said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Yes, an election will be a fair course of action." said Meta Knight. "It's much better then fighting each other for rulership."

"Thats a great idea!" said Ganondorf. "After all, I will win!"

"I beg to differ!" yelled Link. Everyone started chattering about who was most likely to win in an all-out group Brawl. Falco finally had enough of this.

"Will all of you shut up already!" yelled Falco. Everyone stopped talking. "Thanks. So, let's get back to that election idea, alright?"

"That sounds good and- WILL SOMEONE OPEN A GODDAMN WINDOW I CAN'T BREATHE!" growled Bowser.

* * *

><p>Soon the smoke was cleared away and everyone somehow became orderly enough to form a line and start a ballot. The candidates were: Samus (who was reliable), Peach (has experience but is kidnappable), King Dedede (not relaible at all but not kidnappable) and Wario (who everyone was sure was put in as a joke candidate).<p>

"Psst. Guys. Vote for me." whispered Dedede.

"That would be a baised vote." said Meta Knight, writing a name that wasn't Dedede's.

"Pfft. Yeah right. I don't want you to steal all of our food." said Falco.

"Hey! I only did that in the Kirby universe, and it was only once!" argued Dedede.

"Sorry Dedede, but I'm sticking with Samus." said Lucario.

"You guys suck." Dedede crossed his arms, knowing that since his friends weren't voting for him, he won't get any votes at all. Except maybe from Kirby. But he didn't need that puffball's sympathy. "I'm so going to lose."

"It'll be okay Dedede." said Peach, trying to cheer him up. She offered him a cup of tea. "Want some?"

"He doesn't need your tea." muttered Samus."He should just grow up and get over it."

"Say whatever you want, but Wario's going to win!" said Wario.

"That will be the day." muttered the other three candidates. Within a few more minutes, all of the votes were in. Mr. Game and Watch was chosen to count the votes. He stood on top of a table to read out the results.

"LET'S SEE... PEACH... HAS ONLY FIVE VOTES." announced Mr. Game and Watch. Peach, Mario, Yoshi, and Bowser groaned while Luigi kicked his feet awkwardly.

"...Oh well... at least you guys voted for me." said Peach, referring to her friends and Bowser.

"...About-a that..." Luigi said awkwardly.

"Yes, he voted for you." said Meta Knight, covering for him. He glanced back at Lucario and Falco. "Hey, I don't want to see Luigi get beat up. He already goes through a lot."

"AHEM. OKAY, KING DEDEDE... HAS TWO VOTES!" said Mr. Game and Watch. Dedede hung his head, feeling disappointed, since one of those votes were made by himself. And the other vote...

"Hey Dedede! I voted for you buddy!" chirped Kirby.

"...Yeah thanks..." said Dedede. Although he hated the puffball's sympathy, he still felt grateful. At least someone else voted for him.

"SAMUS..." Mr. Game and Watch read out. Everyone watched expectedly, knowing full well that Samus would win the election. "...HAS NINE VOTES. ...WAIT WHAT?"

"What?" said the crowd of Smashers.

"_What._" said Samus. "But... but that means..."

Mr. Game and Watch examined the rest of the votes. "AND THE OTHER 19 VOTES WENT TO... WARIO?"

"Wahaha! See! Wario is number one!" yelled Wario as trumpet noises came out of nowhere, heralding his unexpected victory.

"What? _How the hell did this even happen_?" said Falco in a tone of disbelief.

"...Sorry, but we thought it'd be funny!" said Fox.

"Yeah, we couldn't resist..." said Pit.

"...Do you idiots realize that you've put Wario in charge of all of us?" said Falco. The truth dawned on all of them. Their prank would end up to be everyone's undoing. They immediately regretted their choice and started protesting with the Smashers who actually took the election seriously.

"We need a recount!" shrieked Jigglypuff.

"Can we just overthrow him while we have the chance?" suggested Lucas hopefully.

"UM.. SORRY. ACCORDING TO THIS RULE BOOK..." said Mr. Game and Watch, taking out a rule book out of nowhere. "...'IF THE CURRENT LEADER OF THE HOUSE IS GONE AND IF A NEW LEADER IS APPOINTED, HE IS THE SUPREME AUTHORITY UNTIL THE ORIGINAL LEADER COMES BACK. ANY REBELLIONS AGAINST THE NEW LEADER WOULD BE TREATED SERIOUSLY AND HARSH PUNISHMENT WILL BE DEALT' ...YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THIS SERIOUSLY."

"Oh geez what-a have I-a done..." said Luigi.

"...Wait, I thought you voted for Peach?" responded Yoshi.

"You didn't vote for me? Luigi! What kind of friend are you! Even Bowser voted for me!" yelled Peach. The entire Mario cast (and Yoshi) started ragging on Luigi for voting on an idiot. Speaking of the idiot, Wario was laughing evilly, celebrating his victory.

"Yes! Suck it losers! Wario shall now reign supreme!" laughed Wario. But then he stopped to ponder something. "Wait... Wario needs a new title! From now on, I am... _THE GARLIC KING! AND ALL OF YOU CHUMPS MUST OBEY ME! WAHAHAHA!_" While everyone boo'd, hissed, or cried to themselves, the Normals were too much in disbelief to do any of that. Finally, Dedede spoke up.

"You people should have voted for me." he commented. And so the Smashers started to wish that they voted for Dedede as their joke candidate instead of Wario. At least he wouldn't piledrive the castle straight through chaos and into a hellhole.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

_Remember that Super Mario Land 2 commercial? Yeah, I saw that on YouTube and it gave me the idea for this arc. I'm pretty sure that you all knew Wario would be elected based on the title alone. XD_


	14. Reign of the Garlic King Part 2

_According to my story stats, this story is better overall than Attack of Giygas. This pleases and disappoints me at the same time. Attack of Giygas was meant to be my main story, and this one being a side project. In terms of stats, this easily overtook that story. So yes, I am proud and a bit sad about this._

_But I will stop being a weaboo right now. Here's the next chapter of The Normals!_

* * *

><p><em>REIGN OF THE GARLIC KING - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>Wario, aka, the Garlic Kingwas gone for most of the day, so the Smashers sat around anxiously, waiting to see what he'll do. Would he be an authentically good yet odd leader? Or will he screw everyone over? Everyone was pretty sure that it was the second thing. The Normals were at the castle library (come on, what kind of castle doesn't have a library? Other than Bowser's?), scanning through various house rulebooks to look for a way to boot Wario out of office.<p>

"Okay... this one says that if Wario gets in an 'accident', he'll be replaced." said Falco, who was at the same time grabbing a book about pushing people down stairs.

"No, that won't work. Wario knows that everyone's out to get him." said Lucario. An explosion was heard outside. Shortly after that, Wario's laughter was heard. Lucario then picked up a piece of chalk and drew a line on a chalboard labeled, "Failed Assasination Attempts", which was now up to seven.

"There has to be some way to get Wario out of office. There must be a loophole somewhere..." said Meta Knight.

"A loophole is how I became king of Dreamland." stated Dedede.

"...How did a loophole put you in charge of a country?" asked Falco.

"A little bribe and very small text." said Dedede. "Seriously, it's pretty easy. If it weren't so easy though, I probably wouldn't have tried becoming king."

"...Out of laziness?" asked Lucario.

"Yup."

With that, everyone continued to search for a loophole. After a few more mintues of painful rule reading, the castle intercom suddenly switched on. Then, speak of the devil, Wario's voice came onto the air.

"Attention losers! This is the Garlic King speaking! I have announcements to make during dinner! So be there, or you'll be a loser! Actually, you'll be twice the loser you already are! Wahaha!" The intercom went silent. The Normals looked at each other. Although they hated having Wario as leader, they were curious to know what he has to say. Bringing their books with them (no one minds because who else would read rulebooks?), they leave the library and go into the lunchroom. The place was already packed with Smashers, who were yelling at someone inside a glass column. The column was made of bulletproof glass and inside of it was Wario, sitting on a throne made up of guns. It was miraculous that it hadn't exploded under him. And surrounding the glass was an entourage of threatening Primids armed with Beam Claws.

"What is this all about, Lord Asshole?" asked Ike. The name stuck with all of the Garlic King's detractors (aka everyone).

"Silence! I am the Garlic King! Now, first off, I have good news, so be grateful!" announced Wario. "That rat infestation on the third floor? I'm totally getting rid of it!" Some of the booing stopped. This was actually a good thing.

"Wow, that's pretty nice of you!" said Jigglypuff.

"I know! And I, the Garlic King, shall get rid of them... USING EXPLOSIVES!" Wario took out a detonator for all to see and before anyone could point out how dumb and reckless this is, he pushed it. They heard some explosions overhead, along with the screams of rats (...victory I guess?). Wario was triumphantly grinning. "No need to thank me... but if you do, I accept my thanks with cash."

"...Our room was on that floor..." said Lucas.

"Well go bunk with your frien- oh wait sorry, Ness is your only friend! Looks like you're sleeping outside, you crybaby loser!" laughed Wario. Lucas curled up into a ball and started crying while Ness glared at their king.

"That was a low blow, Lord Asshole." said Ness.

"Yeah, what the hell's wrong with you!" yelled Falco. The complaining and threats started up again. However, with a snap of Wario's fingers, the Primids fired their weapons into the air, immediately shutting them up.

"Quiet! Now, second thing... everyone who tried to kill me will now be arrested! No one messes with the Garlic King! Primids! Throw them into the tar pits!" The Primids spread out and started grabbing people from the crowd.

"When did we have a tar pit?" asked Young Link, who was nonchalant about being dragged away.

"It's right next to the solid gold statue of me." said Wario. "Oh yeah, I also used our money to build a gold statue of me. You're welcome!"

"I will fill your fat stomach full of lead!" yelled Samus, who was trying to fight the Primids. "You will die painfully and slowly... _you'll be begging me to put a bullet through your skull!_" Finally, the Primids managed to subdue her and drag her away.

"...Sheesh, what a downer." said Wario. "But now, how about some dinner?"

"Yay!" cheered the crowd. Maybe there would be one bright spot in this dumb tragedy.

"...Which I seasoned with garlic! I even put garlic in your ice cream! Save all of your thanks and money for later!" said Wario. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Absolutely no one wanted garlic ice cream. The Smashers ran at the glass, trying all they can to break it; unfortunately, they did absolutely no damage. Wario stuck his tongue out at them. "Ha! You losers can't hurt me!"

"This is crazy." said Lucario.

"We need to get rid of Wario as soon as possible. We could practically be dead by Wednesday." said Meta Knight.

"...Hold on, it's only Sunday." pointed out Dedede.

"_Exactly._ Keep looking through those books; we can find somethin-"

"What is this? That midget knight guy is planning to stop me?" said Wario. As he said that, a Primid snuck up to Meta Knight and grabbed him from behind. "No one can stop me! I am the great Wario! Wahahaha!"

"I thought you were the Garlic King." said Fox.

"No, he's Lord Asshole." said Wolf.

"Shut up weird animal people! Take the shorty away!" commanded Wario. As Meta Knight was pulled out of the room, he said something that no one ever thought he would say.

"You sir are a dick." said Meta Knight with pure contempt in his voice. Everyone gasped, shocked that Meta Knight had used a curse word. Yes, he hates Wario that much right now.

"...Well, justice is served! Now, I'm off to put toll booths in the hallways! See you chumps later! Garlic King, away!" Wario pressed a button on his throne and everyone watched in awe as his gun throne shot at the ground, propelling him upward through a hatch in the ceiling. Everyone went to look at their selection of food and indeed, all of it smelled like garlic. Especially the ice cream. The Normals chose to sit dinner out while everyone else chose to brave through it.

"We need to get him out of here. He's a maniac." whispered Falco, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one's listening in.

"Yeah. Even I can't eat this slop. Way too garlic-y for me." said Dedede.

"But first off... what about Meta Knight?" asked Lucario, who was pondering whether they should jailbreak Meta Knight and the others (if you can jailbreak people from tar pits; does it look like I'm a tar expert?).

"No... we don't need him. We can kick Wario out of town without Meta Knight's help." said Falco confidently.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>Yup, guess who's not going to be around for the rest of this arc? Sorry, but with Meta Knight around, he would probably solve the problem hyper-competently, like a moose in a cornfield. ...I was not sure where that metaphor was going. Or is it a simile? Anyway, how do you all feel about garlic ice cream? Give me your response in a poll I'm putting up in my profile. Yes, I really am putting a poll for that.<em>


	15. Reign of the Garlic King Part 3

_Dear readers, the Yume Nikki and Persona fandoms are sucking me in. Help m- oh who am I kidding, I've already written a fic for Persona 3 and two for the Yume Nikki fandom. It's too late for me. Especially since I've recently ordered Persona 4 off of Amazon. If I'm not around on Thursday, well, there's your reason. Now then, the reason why I haven't updated this story in awhile (not account the Bowling Tourney) is because my laptop screen got smashed when my dog pushed it off the bed. Why Brownie, why? So now, I have to connect it to this large external monitor that's not portable at all, so I cannot type up things on the go. And that makes me one sad panda._

_Oh yes, and according to the garlic ice cream poll, 62% (5 votes) of you think that I'm delusional. Two of you (25%) think that garlic ice cream is crud and one of you (12%) has actually tried it and think it's okay. Huh. Well, that was a fun poll._

_What were we doing? Oh right. Story time._

* * *

><p><strong><em>REIGN OF THE GARLIC KING - PART 3<em>**

* * *

><p>The Normals minus Meta Knight chose to confine themselves inside King Dedede's room to stay away from the rest of the castle, which under Wario's rule is guaranteed to get 20 times more crazier.<p>

King Dedede blew a whistle, causing an armada of Waddle Dees to somehow drop out of the ceiling. "Waddle Dees! I want you to barricade the doors, on the double!"

"Um... with what sir?"

"What do you mean 'with what'?"

"Er... Dedede." Lucario said as he tapped his shoulder to get his attention. Only then do they notice that there was something wrong with the room; all of the furniture was missing. Almost the entire room was bare; even the rugs and carpet were gone. The only thing present in the room was a chandelier of candles hanging overhead, which provided the light. While Dedede was dropping his jaw and crying, Lucario noticed a note that was lazily taped to the floor. He read it's contents. "Dear Dededumb, all of your stuff had fleas in them and I took it for inspection. And by that, I mean I took it for myself. No offense. It's just that I'm way more important than you. From, the Garlic King."

Falco was also looking aroud the empty room. "Damn, this guy works pretty fast."

"...So, what will we barricade the room with sir?" asked a Waddle Dee.

"...Er... use yourselves if you have to!" said Dedede. And then, to their shock, the Waddle Dees actually crowded over to the door and made up a barrier with their own bodies. This was sort of a dumb move, since some Gordos (aka those spikey guys) were actually in the pile. Still, they made a great, sturdy barricade, which would definitely be useful in case Wario and/or his minions decide to come around to make their lives worse.

"Alright, and now..." said Lucario, pausing and taking out a book for unnecessary drama. "...we read." The three Smashers sat down on the floor, going back to their task of looking for a rule or loophole that would kick Wario out of office.

"...Hey, um, what would happen to us if something attacks the other side of the door?" asked a Gordo.

"Just don't think about it." replied Falco.

* * *

><p>"Your majesty, there seems to be a problem." informed a Primid. Wario and his throne sat in the middle of some sort of monitoring room, which the Minister used to monitor the Smashers. Despite inducing paranoia inside all of the Smashers, the people monitoring the Smashers were terrible at their jobs. Which is probably why crime rampant inside of the castle. However, Wario decided to change that. He had to make sure that everyone was obeying his sweet new rules and not eating food that didn't contain garlic. Yes, he made that illegal.<p>

"Huh? What is it? Why do you bother your king?" responded Wario.

"According to our reports, King Dedede summoned his army. Do you know what this means?"

"Hmm... it means... that the Garlic King needs an army too!" exclaimed Wario. "Go get me an army from Minions R Us! And one that's way more better then Dededumb's! Your king deserves the best treatment! WAHAHA!"

"Your majesty, there's no such thing as Minions R Us."

"Are you questioning me? Do you want to not be paid?"

"We were never paid. Not even under Master Hand."

"...I will pay you in garlic! Pretty sweet deal, don't ya think?"

"AAAH! I'LL LOOK FOR AN ARMY JUST ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"...What. What's wrong with garlic?" Wario took a bite out of a garlic clove. "I love it. Everyone should... or... I'll fire them out of a cannon! Yes! I, the Garlic King, will fire them all into the sun! I am a genius! WAHAHAHA!" While he laughed evily, everyone else in the monitoring room was slamming their heads against the nearest surfaces, seriously wishing that Dedede was elected over him.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, for those wondering what happened to Meta Knight, he along with everyone else that expressed dissent toward Wario were outside, trapped inside of a pool of freezing lard.<p>

"I will rip his head off." muttered Samus.

"...Anyone else noticed that Wario cannot tell the difference between lard and tar?" pointed out Captain Olimar.

"Be grateful for it. If it was actual tard, we'd be _dead_." said Meta Knight. For once, they were all thankful for Wario's weird stupidity.

"This is the worst pool I've ever been in." commented Young Link.

"I know! The pool service here doesn't even offer snacks!" said Kirby.

"Kirby, there is no pool service." sighed Meta Knight. Then, something caught his eye. "What is that?" On the roof of the castle, something seemed to be rising up.

"It looks like... a cannon..." observed Captain Olimar.

"...Wow! They have fireworks! I so totally forgive them for having no pool service!" exclaimed Kirby.

"...Kirby, if you weren't so young, adorable, and not in reach, I would be smacking you." growled Samus.

* * *

><p>"...So hey, if we ever have juggling bears in the castle, they aren't allowed to use flaming torches." Dedede read out a random fact from a rulebook. They've already been at it for at least 20 minutes, and they haven't really found anything relevant. To entertain them through their long quest, Dedede was amusing them with random, ridiculous rules. "...And look, people aren't allowed to own furniture made of bamboo. Funny, right? Ha ha... I miss my stuff." ...And down went their entertainer, crying like a baby.<p>

"This is hopeless. How about we just escape, wear disguises, and work at Wal-Mart for the rest of our lives, far away from Lord Asshole?" suggested Falco.

"What about the other Smashers?" asked Lucario.

"Eh. Forget those guys. Two weeks with Wario isn't that bad. ...Who am I kidding, it totally is." Falco threw the book he was reading and rested his head in his own lap, clearly frustrated. "I am seriously considering this. None of this crap is going to help us! No breakfast items for dinner, villains not allowed to be put in power, no mimes on the front yard..."

"Wait." said Lucario, stopping Falco's rant. "Villains not allowed to be put in power?"

"Wario's not really a villain. He's more of an anti-hero, like me." said Dedede.

"Exactly. That rule is useless." agreed Falco.

"Hold on, I think there's something..." Lucario flipped backwards through his rulebook until he found the page he was looking for. "Look at this rule!" Falco and Dedede leaned over to see.

"Anti-heroes must be treated the same as villains? Wow, rude." commented Dedede.

"Wait... that's it! Lucario, you're brilliant!" yelled Falco, looking much happier than he was moments ago. "If Wario is an anti-hero, then the villain rule should still apply to him! Ha! So long, Lord Asshole!"

"Okay, all we have to do is bring this up with the rest of the castl-" began Lucario. But then, the intercom came on. They gulped. They knew perfectly well by now that when something starts going their way, something bad will happen to ruin it and complicate things further. "Hyper, why must you keep pulling this on us?" Because it's fun. :D

"Attention losers! It's me, the Garlic King! Wahaha! I have a special announcement for all of you! Everyone that hasn't tried our new garlic food will now be arrested and sent to the tar pi- wha? Lard is not the same as tar? ...Whatever, what do you know are you wearing the crow- NO! WARIO WEARS THE CROWN! Oh, and if you resist, we will shoot you into the sun! So long peasants!" The intercom went silent. The trio of Smashers can hear heavy footsteps taking the place of Wario's voice.

"...We're the only ones that didn't eat anything, aren't we?" said Dedede, knowing that those footsteps are heading toward them.

"Yep." confirmed Falco bitterly.

"OPEN THE DOORS!" yelled a voice from behind the barricaded door. "You are wanted by orders of the Garlic King! Any resistance and we will shoot you out of a cannon into the sun!"

"Oh god, where did everything go wrong?" questioned Lucario. And I'm pretty sure you readers have the same question on your minds. Either that or you're questioning my sanity.

Let's move back a few days, shall w... oh hey, would you look at that. We've finally caught up. ...Now what? ...Guess you readers will have to wait and see! :D

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Right then, until I finish the next chapter, I'll be posting another poll. It mainly concerns Attack of Giygas, and I'm asking you which villains were your favorites, because evil is awesome. You'll be allowed three votes, because go diplomacy. Well, I'm off to go save the world by shooting myself and summoning my screaming head demons. See ya until then!<em>


	16. Reign of the Garlic King Part 4

_Remember when I implied that Persona 4 was getting delivered to me on Thursday? Well, it ended up coming early. I have already succeeded at clocking in 24 hours in a week. Before I continue with our usual shenanigans, here are the results of the poll. Sharing the number 1 spot with three votes each are Mewtwo, Ashley, and Me. Shucks, you guys shouldn't have. Sharing second place are Giygas, Lucas, and Roy. Ridley, Dr. Mario, Pichu, and the Squirrels all got at least one vote while everyone else goes unloved. ...Well, that was a fun poll! But let's get back to our story!_

* * *

><p><em>REIGN OF THE GARLIC KING - PART 4<em>

* * *

><p>The doors to the room were beginning to break under the constant attacks and the living barrier couldn't hold. As the assault continued, The Normals began to think of ways to get out safely and live in the Wal-Mart parking lot for the rest of their lives. Or at least until Wario blows himself up or the Minister comes back.<p>

"Okay, we are on the third floor, so jumping out of the window would be no good." said Lucario, looking outside Dedede's windows (which had the window frames removed).

"I can carry all of you on my back and fly out." suggested Dedede.

"Us too?" said a Waddle Dee getting tired of holding the door.

"NO."

"Aw..."

"Wouldn't work. You're not that fast in the first place and we'll end up slowing you down., They'd probably shoot us out of the sky with... coconuts or something." said Falco.

"The Garlic King will not use coconuts! We would shoot you of the sky with watermelons! Flavored with garlic! Because that's how the Garlic King rolls!" said Wario from behind the door. The Normals all groaned, with one thing on their mind: this is going to suck.

"What do you want now Lord Asshole?" growled Falco.

"I am the Garlic King!"

"Get bent!"

"Whatever! Look, we are here to shoot you into the sun for not eating my awesome garlic food!" clarified Wario.

"...Isn't that a bit harsh?" pointed out Lucario.

"It's not for me!" guffawed Wario. "So, if you don't come out, then I will use my awesome gun throne to shoot down your doors and get you myself! WAHAHA, I AM SO AWESOME!"

"...Did he just say gun throne?" gulped one of the Waddle Dees. Dedede's living barricade started to move around as the people making it up started to panic as they heard the cocking of guns on the other side. Lucario tried to think of a solution to this while Dedede was stopping Falco from climbing out of the window.

"Don't do it! You don't have floating powers like me and it's not worth it!" pleaded Dedede, trying to pull Falco away.

"It is worth having both my legs broken if I can crawl away from here!" snapped Falco. Lucario stopped to help pull him away.

"Please don't. Look, as cruel as the author is, he would probably leave something to help his protagonists get out of problems." said Lucario. The three of them stood there, thinking of what to do. Wario has an army and a fully functioning throne made of guns, and all they have are Waddle Dees, a few Waddle Doos, and Gordos. They would probably last a few minutes in a battle and it's unlikely that they could sneak out. Before they considered going with Falco's idea and breaking their legs, they looked up at the ceiling and an idea sparked in their heads... figuratively and soon to be physically...

* * *

><p>Wario's finger was hovering over the button that would activate the guns. "I give you chumps until three! One... two... er... four..."<p>

"Hey! Lord Asshole!" yelled Falco from the other side. "If you're so great, then why don't you fight us yourself?"

"...Heh?"

"Yeah!" agreed Lucario. "Don't fight us cowardly with guns!"

"Yeah, and definitely don't fart to blow the doors down!" said Dedede suspiciously. Wario however was too gullible to catch onto this. He turned around and faced his rear end at the door while his entourage scattered, not wanting to get caught up in this.

"Here I come losers!" laughed Wario as he prepared to unleash his deadly gas. But as he did that, he was unaware that the doors opened. He was also unaware that the Normals had taken down the chandelier and were throwing the still burning candles at him...

**KABOOM!**

"WAAAAAH!" screamed Wario. In combination with his gas and the candle flame, the entire hallway was set ablaze, him included. He ran down the hallway, flailing his arms pathetically, trying to put himself out. Dedede floated out into the hallway and over the flames, carrying Falco and Lucario on his back.

"That worked out well." said Falco, snickering at the sight of a flaming Wario.

"It's not over yet. We need to get to the intercom room, so we can tell everyone that Wario shouldn't be our leader." explained Lucario. As they floated down one end of the hallway, at the other end, Wario was getting extinguished by his minions.

"Thanks... now go after them!" yelled Wario.

"...Your majesty, the entire hallway is on fire, so we'll have to take several detours just to get to the other side." explained a Shaydas.

"...Wah! You guys are useless!" Wario jumped up and landed into his throne, ignoring how burning hot it was. "Those chumps are practically challenging me! What kind of king would I be if they one-uped me! I will not have that! Wario is the greatest Garlic King ever!" And then, to further show off how awesome his throne was, it started hovering in the air and started chasing after them. The Normals became aware of his presence when he opened fire on them.

"...It can fly too?" screamed Falco in frustration and disbelief.

"How come I don't have a throne like that?" asked Dedede. Unfortunately, the simple act of talking required him to open his mouth, which released all the air out of him, which caused him and his passengers to tumble down onto the floor. Luckily, this caused Wario to fly above them, as he intended to ram them.

"Whoops, I missed! ...I mean, I didn't miss! The Garlic King totally intended it! All part of my great plan!" shouted Wario as he attempted to turn his throne back around.

"Run!" shouted Falco, taking advantage of this moment. The Normals sprinted away from him and down a corridor. They immediately ducked into a room as soon as they heard Wario's throne coming back around. The room was filled with paint buckets, brushes, and various other art materials.

"Art supply room. Nice." commented Lucario.

"Okay, what do you suggest we do now?" asked Falco.

"I found you!" shouted Wario as he shot the door down about a minute later. In front of him were silhouettes of Falco, Lucario, and King Dedede, who were just staring at him. "...Not talking, eh? Well... can you talk... WITH BULLETS IN YOU!" He pressed the button and the silhouettes were easily riddled with bullets. "WAHAHAHA! THE GARLIC KING TRIUMPHS AGAIN! ...Wah?" Then, the dust settled, revealing that he had not shot the real Falco, Lucario, and King Dedede. Instead, he had shot large sheets of paper that were taped to the wall that had lazily painted silhouettes on them.

There was an open air vent in one of the walls in the room. Deep within the vent system, King Dedede still heard the gunshots and failure. "Ha! Take that Wario!"

"You aren't getting away!" yelled Wario, refusing to lose to them. Instead of doing something like putting poison in the air vents, he chose to go in after them. Of course, he immediately got stuck.

"This is what happens when you steal my stuff!" laughed Dedede.

"...Wait, how are you getting through? You're a bigger fatty than me!" said Wario, in a surprising twist of logic.

"Don't get logical on us now!" yelled Falco down the vents. "Oh, we're here."

Lucario's voice came onto the intercom. "Attention Smashers and enforcers of the castle! My friends and I have been looking through the rulebooks- yes, we have rulebooks. And we discovered that since Wario is an anti-hero, he is subject to the same laws that apply to villains. One of these laws being that villains aren't allowed into power. Which means that Wario is not our king."

"To everyone who wants to beat the shit out of him, he's in the art supply room on the third floor. You're welcome." said Falco over intercom. Wario could already hear roars of fury and Smashers taking up arms.

"And can you also find out where he's keeping my stuff?" asked Dedede. "That'd be awesome."

* * *

><p>"Marco!" yelled Kirby.<p>

"Polo!" responded Young Link.

"THIS IS NOT A GODDAMN POOL!" screeched Samus.

"Hey! You guys! Catch!" A rope was thrown into the poo- lard pit. Everyone looked up to see who their savior(s) was. Meta Knight was particularly relieved to find out that the other Normals were bailing them out.

"Nice job on getting Wario out of office." commented Meta Knight as he used the rope to pull himself out of the pool. The other people sentenced to the lard pit pulled themselves out as well and they immediately went to celebrate by looking for a real pool. "So, what happened to Wario?"

"You'll see." said Falco with a wink. He and the other Normals lead him to Smash Castle's real pool. Everyone was out there, barbecuing food that didn't have garlic in it, swimming, or looking into the sky. Meta Knight was confused until he saw Wario being dragged over to the cannon on the castle roof, with several fireworks strapped to him.

"Can't you guys just take an apology?" asked Wario desperately.

"Hell no." said a Primid, pushing him into the cannon. After a few second start up, the cannon fired Wario into the air, where the fireworks exploded, creating a large colorful image of Wario's face with the eyes X'd out. No one cared where Wario ended up landing. They were just glad that he'll probably be gone for awhile. Also, yay, fireworks!

"...Wasn't firing him from a cannon a little hars-" said Meta Knight.

"Yeah, but at least we weren't firing him into the sun, like he threatened to do." said Falco. He offered Meta Knight a barbecue kabob. "Now shut up and eat."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on." said Samus. She stood on top of one of the tables. "We need to decide who will be the leader. Again. And you idiots better take this more seriously this time."

"I'll join again!" said Dedede.

"Um, Dedede? Aren't you an anti-hero?" pointed out Fox.

"...Crap, you're right. ...Forget it, I'll just go eat." grumbled Dedede.

* * *

><p>Thanks to recent events, the candidate pool was halved, leaving Peach and Samus as the only voting options. It was very close, but Peach ended up becoming the elected leader of the castle. Her rule brought peace, love, and prosperity to the castle and all of it's inhabitants. Except for Wario, who, even if he was there, would get kicked out again. Soon, the Ancient Minister came back during a peaceful lunchtime.<p>

"AMAZING. YOU GUYS DIDN'T BURN THE PLACE DOWN." said the Ancient Minister. He didn't even bother to mention how orderly everyone was. He was already shocked by the lack of a burned down place.

"And it's all thanks to my leadership skills!" said Peach.

"Hey, if it weren't for us, Wario would still be ruling." spoke out Falco.

"Oh right! It's a long story actually. Maybe we'll discuss it over tea time."

"YEAH, YOU CAN JUST TELL ME LATER. ...WHERE IS WARIO ANYWAY?"

"Who cares?" said everyone present.

"...OKAY. CARRY ON THEN."

Meanwhile, outside of the castle, Wario was standing on a hill, watching the castle and scheming. "I'll be back... especially for you, Normal chumpmuffins... no one makes a fool of... _THE GARLIC KING! WAHAHAHAHA!_"

* * *

><p><strong><em>END OF ARC 5<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Starting with this arc, I'll start formulating an actual plot. Hey, this whole story won't just be random plotlines, because that would be dumb. Anyway, there will be another poll deciding what new arc I'll write next. I'll try my best to write it into the overarching plot. Will we see more of the Garlic King? Oh, you'll see.<em>

_The poll will end on the 11th, so please remember to vote for my stupidity. Until then, I'll be in the Velvet Room. See you guys soon!_


	17. Beware the Nice Ones Part 1

_Okay, I'm back from the Velvet Room! I've been practicing drawing on a tablet recently, and so far, I'm slightly above the shit level. I'm actually planning on making a cover for this story, because I'm tired of my avatar but I don't want my new avatar to be everywhere. Oh, and guys, I'm sorry but the Lucas thing won. I forgot to close the poll on the deadline and currently the beach episode is tied with it. Unfortunately, I was already in the process of writing this when I realized that I didn't close it, so tough tofu. But still, please enjoy this arc._

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 6<strong>: BEWARE THE NICE ONES - PART 1_

* * *

><p>"Come on guys! You got this!" cheered on Lucario.<p>

"Go Donkey!" screeched Diddy Kong.

A group of Smashers were gathered inside of the viewing room, which was basically a room with a bunch of sofas and chairs with giant plasma screen TVs. Sure, everyone had their own TVs, but come on this was pretty sweet room. The Smashers were watching a Team Brawl on one of the TVs. The match had Falco and Lucas go against the combined force that is Donkey Kong and Bowser in a Stamina match at Hyrule Temple. All of the combatants were low on health; it was anyone's game.

"Oi, Lucas! Come over here and lend me a hand!" yelled Falco, shooting at an advancing Bowser.

"I WILL EAT YOUR FACE!" growled Bowser in an unstoppable battle rage.

"HURRY UP!"

"Hold on! I'm coming!" said Lucas, running into the fray with a Beam Sword.

"SHINY SWORD!" yelled a voice from above. Donkey Kong fell in front of Lucas and smacked him away, sending him over an abyss.

"Recover and get your ass up here!" shouted Falco, who was now fighting Bowser hand-to-hand.

"Don't worry, I... whoops." Lucas failed to hit himself with PK Thunder, and he had already wasted his double jump. As he fell out of the sky, he screamed, "I'm sorryyyyyyy..."

Falco facepalmed as Donkey Kong advanced on him with the Beam Sword with Bowser. "Damnit Lucas."

Half of the crowd of Smashers cheered, while the others groaned. The groaning ones unwillingly gave out bet money to the happy Smashers, among them being The Normals. "I would have won that stupid bet if Lucas hadn't messed up." Muttered Dedede.

"Yeah. If I was in his place, things would have gone so much better." said Red.

"(What the hell are you talking about? You don't even do the actual fighting.)" said Ivysaur. Sadly, unlike Pikachu and Jigglypuff, Red's Pokemon cannot be understood.

"You shouldn't be saying that. It's not as if you has psychic powers." said Meta Knight.

"...I wish I do... hey, I would be awesome with psychic powers, right Charizard?"

"(One day, you will die, regardless of what power you have. And it will not be a natural death. I will be your deathbringer. Soon, when you have your back turned, I will slow-roast you as you beg for mercy. After you die hours later, I will burn your body to cinders and throw the ashes to the wind. Everyone will briefly wonder where you've gone, but stop caring, because everyone here is batshit insane. You will never suspect this, as you blindly believe that I love you like Ivysaur and Squirtle do. Those poor ignorant fools. I will bring them along with me to freedom, flying through your remains as I celebrate with a triumphant roar.)"

Red hugged him. "I love you too Charizard."

Falco and Lucas entered the room, having just exited the arena. "What the hell Lucas? You've been fighting for months now and you messed that up?"

"I'm sorry..." apologized Lucas.

"Falco, you need to lighten up." said Lucario.

"Lighten up? No I won't lighten up! I put a large bet on this because I thought we would win. Oh, and by the way, catch!" Falco threw a bag of Smash Coins at Toon Link's face.

"Yay! My face reeks of wealth and pain!" cheered Toon Link.

"Nice job Lucas." said Bowser as he and Donkey Kong entered as well. He patted the boy on the head. "Way to lose!"

"I didn't mean to..." said Lucas quietly.

"Thanks for the shiny sword. It made beating up the bird man more easier." said Donkey Kong. He and Bowser started to laugh while Falco continued to fume and yell at Lucas. Finally, Lucas burst into tears and ran out of the room crying. As the villain and technically villain left to go celebrate, the other Normals were berating Falco.

"You didn't have to be so harsh to Lucas." said Lucario.

"Yeah, and even I thought that was a dick move." said Dedede. He then realized something. "Wait... if you're the resident jerk of the story... THEN WHAT AM I GOOD FOR OTHER THAN BEING A FAT IDIOT?"

"Dedede, you're not usele-" encouraged Meta Knight, bt the penguin king was already turning away.

"I need to become a jerk again, and fast!" screamed Dedede. He randomly shoved Marth into a wall before jumping out a window to start his nefarious jerk spree.

"...Look, Falco, you shouldn't have yelled at Lucas. Not only is it cruel, but considering his past, he may be a little emotionally unstable." said Meta Knight.

Falco was looking at the floor, feeling ashamed. "You know, you're right. Maybe I was a little mean..."

"Then go apologize to him." suggested Lucario.

"You know what, I think I will... after this match finishes because I put a bet on it." said Falco, taking a seat.

Meta Knight just stared at him. "You need to stop gambling."

"Well I need Arwing upgrades, and they're not going to pay for themselves."

"They won't if you keep losing!" shouted Toon Link.

"Don't be a smartass."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lucas is walking through the halls of the castle, crying to himself when he was unfortunate enough to run across Wolf. Since Wolf is a jerk, he'll probably make things worse.<p>

"Oh, hey Lucas. Why are you cryi- oh that's right, you lost a match because you were stupid!" chortled Wolf.

"I-It was an accide-" mumbled Lucas.

"What's that? I can't hear you over your crybaby tears!"

Lucas' eye twitched. "Grrr..."

* * *

><p>Wario walked stealthily around Smash Castle, watching people, planning his moves. If he was going to get his revenge, it was going to be through an unnecessarily elaborate scheme, because that's how most villains do it. And Wario thought he was the greatest villain of all. While he was spying and gathering more information, Dedede fell next to him through a window.<p>

"Hey." greeted Dedede, not bothering to see who he wad talking to. "Can't talk now, I need to restore my status as a jerk." And so he ran off to do a vilainous deed, holding candy that he stole from Jigglypuff's secret stash. Wario looked at him, shrugged, continued on his way... and then a bloodied Wolf fell in front of him.

"Waa? Is it 'Fall Out of the Sky Day' already?" Wario said to himself.

"...Help me..." said Wolf weakly.

"How dare they not invite me, the Garlic King, to this! When I take over again, no 'Fall Out of the Sky Day' for those chumps!"

"**_Help."_**

* * *

><p>"Lucas?" Falco poked his head through the door of the newly rebuilt MOTHER dorm. "Look, I'm sorry about all those things I said earl- WHAT THE HELL?" And so Falco found himself in that awkward moment where you find a bloody bat on the floor right next to an ominous notebook. He picked up the notebook and he recognized that it was written in Lucas' handwriting. He flipped over to the last page, which was definitely not unsettling.<p>

_Dear journal,_  
><em>I am finally tired of these guys. No, not just the people who make fun of me (ie most people); I mean <strong>everyone<strong>. I am sick of everyone ehre and I will kill them. Besides, Samus and Ness sort of go on rampages when they're angry, so why not? I've already gotten rid of Wolf... now what?_

_Note to self: Remember to pick this and the baseball bat off the floor. Why did I just leave these here anyway?_

_Note to self 2: I need better role models. Still, Samus and Ness are on to something._

_Note to self 3: You know what I'll just leave these here. Besides, it's not as if someone will come in and discover them unless they were trying to apologize to me. Which is probably unlikely._

Falco dropped the journal, a look of horror on his face. "Oh god why." Falco bolted out of the room and turned into a corridor. He saw that the passage was blocked by Smashers, who were looking into a room that a bunch of Primids were in.

"They already took it away." gossiped Zelda. She turned into Shiek. "Aw! But I like dead bodies!" Switch. "Shiek, this is a serious crime!"

"I already saw it." said Dr. Mario with glee written on his face. "I can't believe that someone actually did that to Bowser."

"Yeah. It must take massive balls to attempt and actually kill Bowser." commented Sonic. Falco's blood practically froze then. He saw Meta Knight and Lucario inside of the crowd.

"How come he didn't turn into a trophy like all the other times when people died?" questioned Lucario.

"Maybe Hyper's taking creative liberties. Everything will probably be back to normal by the end of the story arc." responded Meta Knight.

"Guys! I need to tell you something!" called out Falco. Before the two turned to look at him, Mr. Game and Watch came into the scene, clearly in a panic.

"EVERYONE! THERE'S BEEN ANOTHER MURDER; DONKEY KONG JUST DROPPED DEAD FROM EATING A POISONED BANANA!" announced Mr. Game and Watch. Everyone gasped.

"What? Two people are dead?" questioned Zelda. She turned into her alter ego again. "It's actually three idiot." Switch. "Wolf's death was a murder?" Transform! "Yes. Since it's not 'Fall Out of the Sky Day' and Wolf isn't that stupid, then clearly someone pushed him out." Bloop. "Oh my."

"Clearly we are dealing ith a serial killer here." said Meta Knight. That was enough to send everyone into a panic; everyone ran in various directions, screaming and fearing for their lives. The only people left were Dr. Mario, Meta Knight, and Lucario.

"...So, anyone else here that wants to check out DK's body? ...Just me? ...Fine, you guys were boring anyway." Dr. Mario left, leaving Falco with privacy to talk with his friends.

"Falco, there you are! We need to look for Dedede, before this killer gets him too!" said a worried Lucario.

"Hold on... didn't Dedede leave to commit crimes...?" suggested Meta Knight.

"...Wait, you're not saying..."

"I'm not saying that it's Dedede, I don't believe that he's capable of murder. But within these circumstances..."

"No, listen. It's not Dedede, it's actually..." Falco stopped. Far behind his two friends was Lucas, who was watching him with a knowing look. "...um... yeah, it's probably Dedede."

Lucas grinned and mouthed, "I'll kill you later," before trotting off happily.

Falco has never been so scared before in his life.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I was playing Lucas on Hyrule Temple when I messed up his rocket jump thing and fell to my death. I immediately went into a rage and killed all of the computer players. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW. So yeah, that's where the inspiration for this chapter came from. So, we have another poll! Today's question: who is your favorite Normal in the story? So, go out there and vote, will ya?<em>


	18. Beware the Nice Ones Part 2

_Hello again everyone! Where we last left off, Lucas decided to go on a killing spree and Falco feels bad about it. Before we continue on with the story, here are the results of the poll: Meta Knight curbstomped everyone else into the ground with 9 votes, trailing far behid in second place is King Dedede with 4 votes, Lucario's in third with three, and Falco only has one vote; maybe it's because he's a dick. Well, while I think of another poll, please enjoy this chapter._

* * *

><p><em>BEWARE THE NICE ONES - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>MURDER SPREE CONTINUES<em>**

_Five more victims were claimed today as the castle's population of Smashers dwindles to half. In a fit of irony, someone set Mario on fire and put him in an oven. Pit was found with his wings cut off and he probably bled to death. Wario, huh? Oh right, he left, he's not dead. I hope he is though. Okay, make that four victims. The remaining two victims were the Ice Climbers, who died from being pushed off of the castle roof. The castle's security forces have been looking into this, but so far they've found no one. The killer's also killed a bunch of these guys but who cares about red shirts. More news will come as the story develops. Hold on, I think someone's at my door._

The paranoid Smashers continued to read the newspaper, trying to ignore Mr. Game and Watch's body hanging from the ceiling. Meanwhile, Meta Knight and Lucario were talking, worried about a certain someone.

"I still haven't seen any sign of Dedede... maybe he is..." said Lucario.

"No. Nope. I refuse to believe that King Dedede is the killer." denied Meta Knight.

"H-Hey, can I say something?" said Falco. He opened his mouth to speak when he noticed Lucas over at the kid's table, holding a Smart Bomb behind his back. "...Er... you guys are awesome and I hope the killer doesn't get you."

"...That's... uncharacteristic of you, but thanks." commented Lucario.

"...Alright, that's it." Meta Knight got on the table to address everyone else. "We need to catch this murderer."

"Yeah, no shit!" yelled Sonic.

"...Look, the only way to stop the killer is if we band together. They can't take all of us, whether he's attacking us or hiding inside the group." said Meta Knight. The other Smashers murmured, agreeing that this was a good idea. Except one person.

"Um, sorry, but that feels unsafe. Can I just hide somewhere?" said Lucas.

"But your chances of surviving will be better if you stick with people who can actually fight!" said Pikachu.

Lucas twitched his eyes. "Um, how about no. I think I'll be safer hiding somewhere." Lucas then got up and left the room. While everyone else thought that he was actually going to hide somewhere, Falco was pretty sure that he was plotting his next murder.

"...Hold on, what if Lucas is the murderer?" proposed local conspiracy theorist Snake.

"You're silly Snake!" laughed Yoshi.

"...That's something a murderer might say! Maybe you're killing everyone so you can gobble up the bodies!"

"What? Ew, no. That's disgusting, even for me."

"WAIT A MOMENT! What if... you were the killer Snake!" yelled Captain Falcon, pointing at Snake. "You can sneak around all stealthy like!"

"No, I would never do that!" denied Snake.

"Everyone calm down, before we all start fighting!" yelled Lucario.

"That's something a murderer might say!" replied Samus.

"Heck, what if all of us are the killers!" said Diddy Kong.

"That... that might be possible." said Peach.

"No! It doesn't make any sense! Stop arguing and just band together before people start dying again!" said Meta Knight.

"Yeah! Stop being a bunch of jackasses already!" said Falco, while thinking of a way to stop Lucas' carnage.

"I-I just want to-a lay down and forget the whole-a thing..." said Luigi. He left his table to lay down at another table that had space. A few seconds later, the table promptly blew up, taking Luigi with it. As everyone started screaming and accusing each other of murder again, Falco saw Lucas poking his head through a doorway, holding a detonator in his hands.

"Can you excuse me for a minute?" said Falco. Everyone was too busy yelling at each other to notice him. He shrugged and left the room to be with Lucas. As soon as he was sure both of them were alone, he started yelling at him. "What the hell Lucas! This seriously has to stop!"

"No. All of you need to die. _All of you_." said Lucas.

"Alright... then how about I stop you? Right here, right now?" said Falco, cracking his fists.

The boy just laughed at him. "But if you hurt me, everyone would think that you're the killer. And that would be terrible."

Falco sighed. "Lucas, I want you to stop being an asshole."

"That's not a nice thing to say to the person that decides whether you live or die."

"I thought you were going to kill all of us?"

"...Okay, I'm the person that decides whether you die quickly or slowly. ...Man, that sounds way less cooler!" pouted Lucas.

"...Yeah, that does sound coole- what am I saying! Lucas you better stop killing people!"

"And why should I? All of you are a bunch of assholes."

". . ." Falco didn't really have an answer to that.

"Right. So, just turn away and get on with life. You'll be the last one to go."

"...Wait, how can you kill the other Smashers now? They all just banded together; you seriously can't consider killing all of them!" pointed out Falco.

"I'll find a way!" said Lucas with a cheerful smile before skipping away to the land of sunshine and lollipops. I might have exaggerated that part. Falco sweatdropped before going back into the cafeteria. The first thing he saw was everyone pointing their weapons at Samus, while Ike's body was lying on the floor.

"-I killed him, but I was just suspicious, that's all! That doesn't mean that I'm the murderer!" said Samus.

"Samus, he was just picking up a knife to cut his steak!" yelled Meta Knight.

"Well excuse me for being crazy and paranoid like everyone else!"

"Goddamnit. One minute. I leave the room for one minute and you kill someone!" yelled Falco.

"Wait, you left the room?" said Lucario. Falco realized that he was getting suspicious glares from all around the room. He got all sweaty and tense. He needs to get the suspicion off of himself, and fast. Unfortunately, they probably wouldn't believe the whole Lucas thing or the old bathroom excuse, so he had one choice left.

"You guys think I'm the murderer? It's probably Dedede! Have any of you noticed that he's been pretty much missing since the killings started?" said Falco. He felt bad, but accusing Dedede of being the murderer would keep everyone else from suspecting that it was him.

"...Hey, he's right." said Jigglypuff. All of the Smashers started talking, coming to the same conclusion: Dedede is the killer. Falco sighed. While he was safe, he needs to find a way to reveal Lucas to the others and get the heat off of Dedede, wherever he was. He sat down with Meta Knight and Lucario, thinking of what to do.

"It looks like everyone's coming to the same conclusion..." said Meta Knight, trying to stop himself from believing that the killer is Dedede.

"...So Falco, what were you doing outside?" asked Lucario.

"...You probably wouldn't believe me."

"No, I trust you. Kinda."

"...Okay, look, Lucas is the killer and I just talked to him."

Lucario stared at him. "Yeah, that's pretty hard to believe."

Falco slammed his head on the table, frustrated with the whole situation. "Fine, I was in the restroom."

"Oh. You could have told us that you know."

"Ha ha, right..." Questions started to run through Falco's mind. How will he expose or stop Lucas? Can he do it before everyone kills Dedede? How come no one's coming back to life like usual? Where the hell is Dedede? He continued to ponder these questions while everyone was taking up arms, planning to take out Dedede when they see him.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>If the chapters had titles instead of just being called parts, this chapter would probably be called, "People Arguing in a Room All Day." So, I forgot to mention this at the start, but check it out, I drew a cover for the story! Is it awesome or terrible? That's what the subject of the new poll is! I would like to see what you guys think of it. Well, see you guys next time!<em>


	19. Beware the Nice Ones Part 3

_Hey, sorry for the long wait everyone. The reason this took too long was because of... *shudder* school. As for the poll, wow, 77% of you loved the cover drawing. Thanks guys! As for the other 22%, here, have your cookies. They're chocolate chip! Sorry if you like raisin cookies, but let's face it, raisin cookies are dumb. Just last week I got offered a cookie I thought was chocolate chip and it turned out to be a raisin cookie. The horror. Without further ado..._

* * *

><p><em>BEWARE THE NICE ONES - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>Falco, Meta Knight, and Lucario joined the rest of the living Smashers in the courtyard, forming a formidable angry mob. Normally, the Ancient Minister would stop this and would go about things diplomatically. Except he was found broken in pieces inside a trash can a few days ago, so there's no chance of that happening.<p>

"We have to kill Dedede before he kills my beautiful hair!" yelled Marth.

"You sort of have the right idea! We must make him pay for what he's done!" said Olimar.

"It makes sense, but I can't believe it's Dedede..." said Meta Knight somewhat sadly. Falco felt like telling him who the real killer was, but he realized that he would probably not believe him.

Lucario was still looking around. "Seriously... where has Dedede gone?"

"Have you checked his room?" suggested Falco.

"That would be too obvious..." answered the Pokémon. Falco got an immediate idea where Dedede was and was preparing to go sneak away when Lucas chirped up.

"Oh, when you guys are chasing him, can you chase him back to the courtyard?" asked Lucas. He produced a party ball, no doubt full of explosives. "I was thinking of standing from a balcony and when you guys kill him, I'll throw this down to celebrate!"

"That sounds like a great idea!" said Jigglypuff. "What's inside?"

"Oh, you'll see." said Lucas, smiling. While everyone else talked about celebrating and rituals to revive the dead, Falco was slipping away. It was clear as day that Lucas was planning to take out all the Smashers in one fell swoop. And then only he would be the last target on Lucas' crazy vengeance list. Which is terrible. However, he started to think of a plan. If Dedede could move so stealthily around the castle, then maybe...

* * *

><p>Dedede was sitting inside his room, admiring all the stuff he stolen. Furniture, treasure, weapons, beloved Pokémon... it was all his. So far, no one managed to notice the thefts, considering that there's a much bigger dilemma at hand. So he was surprised to hear the door open behind him.<p>

"I GOT THIS STUFF WITH MONEY! LEGIT!" yelled Dedede, holding his hammer.

"Dedede, it's me, and I don't care." said Falco. He made sure the door was locked before continuing the conversation. "Look, I need your help in catching the murderer."

Dedede looked at him confused. "Murderer?"

"Th.. _do you seriously not know?_ _What_ the hell have you been doing for the past few days?" said Falco, utterly baffled by this revelation.

"Uh... I've been... buying all this new stuff." said Dedede.

Falco raised an eyebrow. "Is that Red's Squirtle in the corner over there?"

"(Help.)" said the Squirtle, who was taped to the wall.

"...No. So, what's this about a murderer?"

"Okay, remember the match where I was paired up with Lucas? Yeah... that day finally made him snap and he started killing everyone. Half of the house is dead, and I'm pretty sure he's saving me for last." explained Falco. "Oh right, and everyone thinks you're the killer. Sort of my fault. Sorry."

"...Say what now?" replied Dedede.

"Damn it, try and keep up. Look, I have a plan, and I need you for it. If you screw up, we're all dead." said Falco.

"Yeah... not helping my confidence here." said Dedede.

"...Anyway, I need you to use your somehow amazing sneaking skills to sabotage Lucas first and... is that my wallet?" yelled Falco, looking at a pile of wallets on a table.

"Nope."

"It totally is! Give it back you fat bastard!"

"...I thought we were talking about a plan?"

"...You're right. This is way more important. So..."

* * *

><p>The Smashers walked through the halls of Smash Castle, close together, searching for King Dedede. Lucario was at the front, using his ability to look for Dedede. Suddenly, Lucario jumped, looking surprised. "Guys! I've found Dedede!"<p>

"Hey, I can see him too... running toward us?" commented Toon Link. Indeed, King Dedede was running toward them. Everyone pulled out weapons or guarded, believing that Dedede came to take them all on. Instead, he ran past all of them, flipping the bird at them.

"Look at me! I'm the murderer! Try and catch me!" fake laughed Dedede.

"Get back here! We need to kill you!" said Samus. She chased after him, followed by the other Smashers. The only two who did not have the intention to kill Dedede was Meta Knight and Lucario.

"Dedede! Please surrender! I don't want to kill you, I just want to find out why you did all of this!" called out Meta Knight. He actually sounded sad, somewhat heartbroken by the fact that Dedede caused all of this.

"Yeah! Can you at least explain why you did all this!" yelled Lucario.

"Serial killers don't need to explain themselves! They need death!" said Link.

"That's right, this way, mwhahaha... this better frigging work." grumbled Dedede. He entered the castle's courtyard and stood in the middle, raising his arms and making himself look like a big obvious target. Then, the other Smashers came in and crowded around him, ready to beat him to death. But before they did that, something was thrown from the balcony. Lucas' party ball landed on the ground and rose dramatically, ready to release its hoard.

"Lucas, we're not supposed to party yet! I don't even have my karaoke equipment!" called out Jigglypuff.

"Thank god." muttered someone in the crowd of Smashers, prompting an angry glare from Jigglypuff. Then, the party ball opened up... dropping an entire mob of Bob-Ombs.

"Wait, what the hell!" screeched Samus.

"Oh my god! Falco was right!" yelled Lucario. He looked at the others. "Guys! Lucas is the killer! This was all a trap!"

"It... it makes sense. Unlike Dedede, he actually has a motive when you think about it... sorry for suspecting you." apologized Meta Knight.

"Ha ha, don't mention it." said Dedede.

"Why are you so cheery Dedede? We're all going to die!" screamed Olimar, hugging all his Pikmin as everyone prepared for the bombs to go off. The Bob-Ombs' fuses burned away... but nothing explody happened. Instead, the Bob-Ombs fell over, smoke fizzing out of them.

"CRAP!" yelled Lucas from the balcony. The Smashers all looked up at the balcony, with expressions ranging from disbelief, amazement, and anger.

* * *

><p>"Why... why didn't it work?" said Lucas, getting twitchy and nervous. Now that everyone knows what he's done, they would be coming after him.<p>

"I got Dedede to sneak in and tamper with your Bob-Ombs." A voice said from behind a door. The door opened, revealing Falco.

Lucas brandished a bat and pointed it at Falco. "Stay away from me! I-I'll kill you too!"

"Lucas, relax. I'm not going to hurt you." said Falco. "Look, will you just explain why you did all this?"

Lucas looked at the floor. "...Everyone thinks I'm a pathetic weakling. People are always making fun of me and there's those things you said to me and..."

"I'm sorry about that, okay? Besides, you're not a weakling." reassured Falco.

"R-Really?"

"Have you not paid attention to what you've been doing kid? As terrifying as it is, you actually murdered half of the people here, all by yourself! You're a badass! A terrifying, insane badass, but still a badass!"

"...Y-You're right! I'm not a weakling! ...But... but I killed all those people..." said Lucas.

Oh, I can fix that for you. With just a snap of my fingers, everyone will regain their ability to come back to life!

"Hold on... you're the reason why no one came back to life after Lucas killed them? Why the hell would you do that?" yelled Falco.

Because silly. This whole murder thing wouldn't have a big impact if people came back to life, now wouldn't it?

"...He has a point." commented Lucas.

"Look Hyper, just fix this problem so we could put this whole arc behind us." said Falco.

I will. I'm just waiting for the riiiight moment...

Suddenly, the door opened again and a few Smashers entered. Falco stood in front of Lucas, shielding him. "Hey, don't hurt Lucas! The only reason why he started killing people is because of crap like this and the constant insults!"

"...He's right. After all, this all started when Falco yelled at him and Bowser and Donkey Kong made fun of him." said Meta Knight. Some of the other Smashers realized this and agreed, dropping the idea of lynching Lucas. The rest were either still baffled by this twist or still wanted to kill Lucas in revenge.

"It doesn't matter. Sorry Lucas, but you murdered all those people, and there's no changing that. You still need to pay." said Samus. She took a step toward Lucas...

SNAP!

Suddenly all of the Smashers that were murdered during the past few days respawned above all the Smashers that didn't want to drop this whole issue. Bodies and karma rained down on those Smashers as I laugh maniacally. Boy I love this job.

"Wait... since Hyper wrote this whole story, isn't he technically the murderer? You know, indirectly?" stated Lucario. Oh no. All of the characters are getting angry at me. Angrier than they usually are at me.

Guys, please stop being mad! I brought everyone back to life, didn't I? Ha, ha... SCREW THIS I'M RUNNING!

"...Well, at least everything's okay now." sighed Lucario.

"...By the way, King Dedede stole everyone's stuff." announced Falco.

"What? You dick!" screamed Ness.

"Yes! I'm a jerk again!" celebrated Dedede as a group of Smashers grabbed him and threw him off the balcony. Meanwhile, on one of the castle's walls, Wario had watched all this unfold, intrigued by Lucas.

"Heh heh... that Lucas brat sure is dangerous when he gets pissed... wahaha! This can work with my awesome plan! You better watch out peasants! Soon, you'll face the wrath of Lucas again... AND THE GARLIC KING! WAHAHAHA!" Wario got on his motorcycle and drove away, laughing maniacally until he drove straight off the castle.

"Do you hear something?" asked Meta Knight.

"I don't think so." answered Falco.

"Ow! Accomplishment feels a lot like pain!" screamed Dedede.

* * *

><p><strong><em>END OF ARC 6<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Right, that's another arc down! Remember how I implied that either Lucario or Meta Knight would be saving the day? It was actually Falco and Dedede all along! Bwhahaha! So, how will Lucas fit in the Garlic King's grand revenge plan? You'll see... Anyway, school is dumb! My math and Spanish teachers already dumped a bunch of homework on me, and I still have some to do, which is terrible. I wanted to spend the rest of my Labor Day weekend playing Persona 4 (gosh Naoto is such a cutie!), but noooooo. So anyway, have another arc voting poll! The poll ends on the 15th, so remember to get your votes in!<em>


	20. Diplomacy, Ho! Part 1

_Aaaand we're back! Before we start the story, have any of you read the Pendragon series? It's just as good as the Harry Potter books (in my opinion anyway), but it doesn't get that much exposure. Seriously, you should go read it. You won't regret it._

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 7:<strong> DIPLOMACY, HO! - PART 1_

* * *

><p>Lucario looked at the note telling him to go to the castle's conference room and gulped. He pushed the doors open and entered to see what all the hubbub was about. A long conference table was stretched out through the middle of the room. On one side was the Ancient Minister, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Red, and on the other was Dialga, Palkia, and Cresselia. Yep, he had no idea on whats going on.<p>

"...Uh..." was all Lucario could say.

"Welcome! Come in and have a seat! Have some tea while you're at it!" offered the smallest legendary Pokémon. Lucario took a seat right next to Red, sipping a cup of tea.

"What's going on here?" Lucario whispered to Red.

"We're trying to renew our contract to fight on Spear Pillar." explained Red.

"Renew? Contract?"

"Yeah. Spear Pillar is serious sacred ground shit. We need to get permission for this crap." said Pikachu.

"The Minister wanted us Pokémon here for... um, some reason?" said Jigglypuff, who was just as confused as Lucario. While the Smashers talked, the Ancient Minister was discussing things with the legendary Pokemon.

"...SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, PEOPLE LOVE TO WATCH FIGHTS AT SPEAR PILLAR. IF YOU ALLOW US TO FIGHT THERE AGAIN FOR THE NEXT TOURNAMENT, WE PROMISE TO GIVE 25% VIDEO REVENUE FOR THE SPEAR PILLAR FIGHTS." explained the Ancient Minister.

"Wait a minute, you make money off our fights and you don't pay us a single penny?" said Lucario. His other Pokemon universe comrades were also unamused.

"Isn't this soliciting money?" said Jigglypuff.

"SHUSH." said the Minister, ignoring them. "NOW, WILL YOU ACCEPT OUR OFFER?"

"No thanks." said Dialga.

"I'M GLAD YO- WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO."

"Actually, we have a different condition in mind, and_ you will listen to us_." said Palkia aggressively.

"Listen to them or they will destroy us." growled Pikachu to the Minister.

"...ER... WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"

"We would like to be summmonable Pokemon in the next tournament." said Dialga, straight to the point.

"WHAT."

"Yeah! Groudon is always going on about how cool it is to be in the fights! We'd gladly let you fight on Spear Pillar if you let us take part in your brawls!" exclaimed Cresselia.

This request was immediately met with disdain. The legendary Pokémon that were already allowed to take part in the Brawls were already deadly and annoying. Adding in a Time Pokemon, a Space Pokemon, and a Pokémon that throws sharp psychic cuts of death would probably make things worse. The Ancient Minister looked at the Smashers to see their reactions (which was one of the two reasons why he brought them there) to this. Upon seeing that they were uninterested/terrified of space-time paradoxes happening in other worlds, he shook his head. "SORRY, BUT I WOULD HAVE TO DECLINE."

Cresselia folded her arms and pouted. "Then forget about fighting on Spear Pillar."

"Hey, that's sort of unfair! You guys already get to beat the stuffing out of us in Spear Pillar!" pointed out Red.

"Says the person who stands in the background and does no fighting whatsoever." said Pikachu.

"Quiet you."

"Look, it's fun and all, but we want to go see other places! I want to bend the fabrics of multiple universes to my knees!" growled Palkia.

"Palkia, what have I said about trying to mess with the realities of different universes?" said Dialga.

"...It's rude..."

"Good."

"We don't hate you guys. It's just that you two might fight, cause a rip in the fabric of space-time, and accidentally summon Giratina to make things worse." said Lucario. Everyone else nodded, as he practically paraphrased what was on their minds.

"Cresselia can come though. She won't destroy reality... um, right?" said Jigglypuff.

"Yeah, I can't do that." said Cresselia. But she continued pouting. "But I refuse to fight without my friends."

"Besides, Dialga and I haven't been fighting recently. Everything will be fine." said Palkia.

"Palkia, we fought just yesterday over who was a better superhero. We accidentally set a forest ablaze in the process." said Dialga.

"_SHUT UP! **BATMAN IS WAY BETTER THAN SUPERMAN**! PLUS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, OR THEY WON'T LET US FIGHT!_"

"I wouldn't need to say anything if you weren't such a liar. Let's just try to deal with them peacefully and truthfully." growled Dialga.

"_WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ACT SO SUPERIOR! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!_" screeched Palkia. The tension between the two of them was enough to cause one of the lightbulbs in the room to explode. Cresselia sipped some tea, not caring about the falling heated glass.

"See what we mean?" said Lucario, pointing at the remains of the lightbulb.

"It was an accident. That Dialga caused." said Palkia.

"Me? You starte-"

"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" sang Jigglypuff, trying to defuse the situation. It didn't make them go to sleep, but it certainly calmed down Palkia and Dialga.

"...Right then, unless you accept our deal, we will not allow you to fight at Spear Pillar for your next tournament." said Dialga.

"The offer's still on the table, if you change your mind." added Cresselia. The legendary Pokemon were getting up to leave, which the Minister did not like one bit.

"OKAY, PLAN B. SMASHERS, DEFEAT THEM!" shouted the Ancient Minister.

"What." said everyone else in the room.

"ONE OF THE TWO REASONS WHY I INVITED YOU HERE WAS TO USE YOU AS MUSCLE. ACCORDING TO THE POKEMON UNIVERSE LAWS, ANY POKEMON THAT GETS CAPTURED IN A POKEBALL MUST BECOME LOYAL TO THEIR CAPTOR."

"Fools! That's not how it wor-" Palkia yelled until Cresselia whispered in his ear. "...Oh wait, that's how things really work? Huh."

"ALRIGHT, JIGGLYPUFF, YOU'RE ON THE SUPPORT TEAM. LUCARIO AND PIKACHU, YOU'RE THE MAIN ATTACKERS. RED, USE YOUR POKEMON TOO THEN CAPTURE THEM. SINCE THEY MUST BECOME LOYAL TO US, THEY HAVE TO HAND SPEAR PILLAR OVER TO US." said the Ancient Minister.

"...I don't think my Pokemon can take on one legendary. Let alone three." said Red.

"Have you seriously lost your mind?" said Pikachu.

"...Minister, you do realize you're threatening legendary Pokemon, right?" Lucario paused. "And since when did you resort to violence?"

"THAT'S HOW BADLY WE NEED SPEAR PILLAR. I'LL DEAL WITH LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS LATER."

Palkia looked to the others. "Want to help me smash these fools?"

"Well, if they insist on fighting us." said Dialga.

"I have nothing better to do." shrugged Cresselia.

"Alright guys, we can take them!" said Jigglypuff, trying to raise morale. She took out a microphone to start signing. "One, two, three..."

* * *

><p>All of the Smashers have evacuated Smash Castle, standing outside to watch a black hole slowly suck up bits and bits of the place. Lucario was with the other Normals, sporting many cuts and bruises. He was bringing them up to speed on why their castle is being sucked up into a dark, empty void.<p>

"...and that's why the legendaries got pissed off enough to put a black hole in our castle." explained Lucario.

"...Wait, the Minister is making money off of our fights?" said an angry Dedede.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

_That's one chapter down! Since I don't really have anything else to say, I'll just announce this week's poll: what do you think of Spear Pillar? Is it worth rising up against legendary Pokemon?** Is it?** Well, you can tell me that through your votes. Now if you excuse me, Persona 4 keeps singing it's siren song to me._


	21. Diplomacy, Ho! Part 2

_Hell, it's been awhile since I last wrote. The reason this chapter is long overdue is because my computer's been acting up lately due to a dumb horse thing my sister's friend downloaded (don't ask). Obviously, it was loaded with malware and shit, but things are better now. Anyway, it's October now and it's almost a year since I started my Halloween story. I've actually written a few paragraphs for it, so believe in the impossible my friends, because an update is coming. According to the latest poll, 6 of you thought Spear Pillar is great but not worth fighting over, 5 of you wanted to fight the Pokémon Gods over it, 1 person thought it was just okay, and 1 person actually hates it. Well that was a good poll. And now, back to our feature presentation._

* * *

><p><em>DIPLOMACY, HO! - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>It has been a week since what's been called the worst diplomatic mission in all time, and the black hole was still around. It had stopped sucking things in, but it stood through the center of the castle, which impeded most people trying to walk through the castle. Other than absorbing anyone dumb enough to touch it, the black hole did nothing... which actually worried everyone. No one believed that it would be doing nothing for no reason. And so that's why the Ancient Minister was having leading space experts Samus, Captain Olimar, Meta Knight, Falco, and Fox inspect it.<p>

"In my opinion... this is a black hole." said Fox.

"Thanks. We needed to know that." said Samus.

Captain Olimar sent out a Pikmin to walk toward it. Just before hitting the black hole and being sucked into eternity, the Pikmin suddenly slowed down. After crying for a nice five minutes, Olimar shared what he learned. "There seems to be some... time shell surrounding the black hole. It seems to be holding it from completely expanding. ...Saint Dane, why did you have to go?"

"You sent him to his doom." pointed out Falco.

"...Oh my gosh. _I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!_" screamed Olimar before he ran away in tears.

"Don't worry, I'll get him back!" said Fox. He reached his hand through the time field and poked the black hole, which resulted in him getting sucked in. Nobody worried too much, because they knew I was probably going to bring him back to life. Plus, they were surprised that it hadn't happened sooner.

"...So, do you think Dialga's trying to hold Palkia back?" theorized Meta Knight.

"Nah. They both hate our guts, so he doesn't really have a reason to do that." said Falco.

"Maybe they're trying to decide whether they should destroy us, so they're holding it there until then." mused Samus.

"HMM... THAT IS A POSSIBILITY. AFTER ALL, THEY WERE SO COOPERATIVE WHEN THEY WERE HELPING CRESSELIA TAKE MY HEAD OFF." said the Ancient Minister.

"...You know, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your bullshit." pointed out Falco.

"ACCIDENTS HAPPEN."

"And what an accident that was. Say, you know what else would be an accident? _My missile launcher accidentally going off in your face._" growled Samus, pointer her blaster at the robot.

"Yeah. I hope my gun doesn't accidentally discharge too." said Falco, also threatening him with his weapon.

"No guys! Let's try not to fight for once!" said Meta Knight, trying to calm down the hot-blooded Smashers. "Let's try to handle things peacefully!"

"HANDLE THINGS PEACEFULLY... AHA! WHY HAVEN'T I THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE?" said the Ancient Minister.

"Because you're a terrible leader?" said the pissy bounty hunter.

"Because you wanted to get the rights to Spear Pillar without paying a single damn cent?" said the pissy Arwing pilot.

"You technically were handling things peacefully until you got violent." stated the only reasonable person here.

"YOU'RE RIGHT... I SHOULD HAVE HANDLED THINGS 100% DIPLOMATICALLY. IN FACT, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH TRYING TO FIGHT THOSE POKEMON." realized the Ancient Minister.

"No kidding." said Falco.

"HMM... ACTUALLY, I THINK I HAVE A PLAN. FALCO, META KNIGHT, I NEED YOU TO -"

_BANG BANG!_

The Ancient Minister sunk to the ground with two holes in his back.

"Whoops. Our guns went off." said Samus and Falco in unison. Meta Knight just sighed and walked away.

* * *

><p>The doors to the stage teleporter room were thrown open as the Normals entered, feeling a little afraid; Lucario was worried the most. They were on a mission, and the mission was not pleasant.<p>

"So, after attacking them, the Minister actually expects us to patch things up and pretend it never happened?" said Dedede.

"Yes. No offense to him, but he's been terrible at making decisions lately." said Meta Knight.

"...How come I have to go?" whimpered the Aura Pokémon. He already had to face down Spear Pillar's legendary Pokémon once, and that one battle was enough to traumatize him. "I know I have to, but why me? Why just me?"

"Because you're a Normal, and sanity has its disadvantages." grumbled Falco.

"Yeah. We're always picked out to go on stupid adventures." said the penguin.

"Be grateful that you haven't been in the Trapped in a Mansion saga." said the small knight darkly.

NO. DON'T MENTION TRAPPED IN A MANSION UNTIL I REVISE IT THAT SHIT IS EMBARRASSING NOW.

"Can you stop talking about other stories and focus on this one? Please?" pleaded Lucario, who just wanted to get this over with. Okay, fine. Dedede flipped a switch and the teleporter to Spear Pillar activated. The group shared an unsure expression with each other before stepping into it. After a flash, they found themselves standing on the pads that lifted them into their fights in the middle of Spear Pillar. They carefully got off their pads when something immediately hit each of them from behind, knocking all of them unconscious.

* * *

><p>"Wake up, prisoners!" yelled a gruff voice.<p>

"Palkia, they may be invaders, but they're also our guests. No need to be rude to them. Cresselia, can you please fetch some tea?" said a more polite voice.

"Okay then!" said a feminine voice. The Normals all opened their eyes and found that they were tied to a pillar in chains, which none of them could break out of them. Yes, they can smash up robots if they wanted to, but chains? Forget it. They looked up from their bonds and ended up staring into the faces of Dialga and Palkia. Cresselia casually flashed in, carrying a tea set.

"Hello invaders! Want some tea?" offered Cresselia.

"...I'll have two cups." said Dedede.

"I'll take one. I need to calm my nerves." responded a nervous Lucario.

"...Pass." said Meta Knight.

"You can keep your damn tea." growled Falco. Cresselia made a raspberry at him and served tea to Lucario and Dedede (which was safely placed on their stomachs with bendy straws). Palkia glared at Dialga.

"Why do we have to be so nice to these guys? How come we aren't blasting them over the horizon yet?" complained Palkia.

"It's a courtesy. After all, we're about to destroy the Smash Castle." said Dialga. Lucario and Falco immediately did a spit take while Meta Knight and Falco had looks of horror.

"What! You're destroying the castle!" yelled Falco.

"Yes. We've all been sitting here debating on whether we should unleash the black hole or not. It took a tough time trying to decide because, well, even though most of you guys are heroes..." elaborated Dialga.

"...you guys honestly cause as much harm as villains do on a regular basis." finished Cresselia. She drank a little tea before offering, "Would either of you two like sugar?"

"Sugar is the least of our problems." said Lucario.

"I'd still like some." said Dedede. As his tea got sweetened, the conversation continued.

"We were still debating... until you guys came along. You were obviously ordered by your minister to attack us again, but you fools didn't expect us expecting you, _so hah_!" laughed Palkia.

"What? No! This is a diplomatic mission! We mean no harm!" said Lucario.

"Last week was also a diplomatic mission." retorted Dialga.

"In our defense, the Minister is a terrible leader." muttered Falco.

"Yes, he admittedly is. Look, that was in the past. Lucario came here to help bury the hatchet; we're not here to fight you." explained Meta Knight.

"And the rest of you are here why exactly?" inquired Dialga.

"Bodyguards, just in case you attacked us; fat lot that did us." Dedede paused. "This tea is seriously good."

"Thanks, it's my recipe!" said Cresselia cheerfully before getting back on topic. "And how do we know you're here as bodyguards? For all we know, you're backing the Aura Pokémon up to fight us."

"That... is reasonable." admitted Meta Knight.

"See? Even you admit it!" accused Palkia.

"You're twisting our words around." growled Falco.

"Well, we believe that you were sent by your minister to take us out, and that seals the debate; Smash Castle needs to be destroyed. Momentarily, I will be lifting the time field to allow Palkia's black hole to obliterate it. I will give you a few minutes to convince us otherwise." said Dialga. There was a fierce silence, which was occasionally interrupted by the sipping of tea. As Lucario draine his cup, he gulped. He believed that there was only one way out of this.

"Alright, if you spare us... we'll let you fight in our Brawls." said Lucario.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><em>That's last week's chapter done. Now I have to work on this week's chapter... and the Halloween story. Joy. At least tomorrow's Friday. There will be no poll this week, in honor of Shinjiro and Ken's mother. If you know what I'm talking about, I'm sorry I made you cry.<em>


	22. Diplomacy, Ho! Part 3

_Hello again everyone! One of the frequent readers of this story, Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus (who might be familiar to some of you), pointed out that the last chapter marked the one year anniversary of this fanfic! How I missed that, I do not know. So, I would like to thank all of you for reading this! I did not have anything planned for the anniversary, other than this chapter of course, so I'm sorry to those who were expecting something special. But still, I hope you guys love this chapter and continue reading!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>DIPLOMACY, HO! - PART 3<em>**

* * *

><p><em>"Attention! The next match will be starting in two minutes; please hide behind the nearest cover!<em>" announced the intercom. The anxious Smashers in the viewing room immediately ducked behind a sofa or table; the Ancient Minister had announced that morning that this would be the first match featuring Spear Pillar's legendary Pokemon, so everyone was understandably worried. In fact, it was possible that Palkia, Dialga, and Cresselia would get permanent positions as summonable Pokemon, which would certainly make the next tournament way more dangerous. However, the Normals had a plan to prevent that from happening. It was just so very simple...

...but it involved suffering through at least one match with them. Since they knew no one else would be willing to risk their lives, the Normals volunteered themselves for the match. And so that's why they were nervously waiting in the stage teleporter room, standing on the teleporter to Delfino Plaza, the site of the match they were participating in.

"...so we just go for the Pokeballs, right?" questioned Dedede.

"Yes. I discussed this with the Minister and he's willing to help rig the odds of them appearing." said Meta Knight.

"This better stop the others from throwing tomatoes at us in the hall." said Falco. He glared at Lucario, who took up a defensive stance.

"Hey, it was either bribe them or let them destroy everyone! Besides, if this plan works, Palkia, Dialga, and Cresselia will leave us alone and no one will die. For once." said Lucario.

The intercom blared, "_The match will now begin._" Suddenly, the teleporter zapped them away. The four Normals appeared on their pads in the middle of Delfino Plaza. "_Three, two, one, **go**_!" The Smashers stepped off of their pads, ready to enact their plan. As soon as a Pokeball appeared, Lucario made a run for it; after picking it up, he threw it on the ground and the almighty Palkia emerged.

"PALKIA!" yelled the towering legendary. "_BRING IT ON!_" He opened his jaw, unleashing an attack that would manipulate reality...

* * *

><p>Over at the Shine Gate, a proud public worker Pianta had just finished cleaning the giant Shine overlooking the city. "Ahh... good as ne-"<p>

**KA-BREAK!**

The base of the Shine Gate suddenly broke apart, causing the structure to collapse, crushing several buildings and sending the city into a panic. It landed in the middle of the plaza, where the fight was taking place.

"Oh my god! What's wrong with you!" screamed Dedede, who narrowly escaped getting crushed by the rubble.

"You... could have just attacked them directly instead of doing that." advised Lucario.

"Shut up!" roared Palkia. "_I DO WHAT I WANT!_" He unleashed another attack, which proceeded to topple over a building and nearly crush Meta Knight. The platform began to rise, taking them all into the sky and saving Isle Delfino from Palkia, if for only a moment. King Dedede recovered from his shock and went for a nearby Pokeball and threw it. A light burst out of it as Dialga was summoned.

He took a good look around. "Oh dear, it appears that we're flying through the sky. Allow me to stop this thing." Dialga's eyes flashed and the platform grinded to a halt in mid-air; however, this ended up stopping time everywhere else, instantly freezing the panicking Piantas and some of the still falling rubble. Only the Normals and the Pokemon were unaffected by the time stop.

"This isn't supposed to happen you know." said Meta Knight. "You were supposed to just slow down time."

"Oh, sorry. I thought freezing time everywhere would be a good reference to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. I thought people would appreciate the fanservice." apologized Dialga. Before he could restore time, he was confronted by Palkia.

"No one would appreciate it! Besides, you were a villain in that game, so freezing time would be a terrible thing!" yelled Palkia.

"Oh, I'm sorry that Darkrai corrupted me. I didn't really see it coming."

"Of course you didn't! You could have seen it coming if you were more smarter!"

"What? _How dare you..._" The water surrounding Delfino Plaza was starting to ripple and waves were starting to form; the plan was working so far. The Normals were starting to step away from the two legendaries, knowing that things will turn to shit pretty fast. Falco found another Pokeball and threw it into the mix; unexpectedly, an Absol emerged from it.

"Wha- why the hell are you here?" asked Falco.

"My Pokemon species appears during times of catastrophes." explained the Absol.

"He's right you know." said Lucario.

"...Okay then... just stand over there, alright?" said Falco. The Absol nodded and just sat in a corner to watch things unfold. Meta Knight found another Pokeball and threw it, with Cresselia appearing from it this time.

"Alright, first fight, here I go~!" Cresselia cheerfully threw cutting beams at Falco, Lucario, and Dedede; they immediately dove out of the way and the beams went straight toward Delfino Plaza, making cuts into the buildings.

"WHEN WILL THE MATCH END!" screamed Dedede as he ran from the beams.

"A minute and fifteen seconds! Just hold out until then!" said Lucario. While Cresselia continued to do her job, Palkia and Dialga continued to argue, which was seriously messing with nature.

"..._WHO CARES ABOUT POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON IT WAS A SHITTY GAME!_" roared Palkia.

_"ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT SPAWNED A VERY GREAT SERIES!_" countered Dialga.

_"**I AM SERIOUSLY DONE WITH YOU!**_**"**

"**_OH YEAH? THEN WHY DON'T YOU GET RID OF ME?"_**

_"**I THINK I WILL!**"_

"I like to throw things!" laughed Cresselia.

"We really need to go hide." said Meta Knight. The Normals quickly ran over to the Absol and hid behind him (or her?) as Dialga and Palkia charged at each other; the effects were immediate. One of the small islands outside of the plaza immediately exploded, which caused a small tidal wave to devour another island. Time unfroze, which would be good except it allowed the damage made by Cresselia's beams to take place; several buildings were then cut in half and the top halves fell over. But that was only the start of the random destruction...

The Normal's plan went horribly right.

* * *

><p>The match had only lasted two minutes, but two minutes was enough for the three legendaries to completely trash Delfino Plaza. They spent the next day repairing the place and apologizing to everyone for this incident. Dialga and Palkia's fighting had almost destroyed the place, hell, they already did some damage before they started fighting. Cresselia was the only one that focused on doing her job, but she still did some significant damage. That's when all three of them realized that the Smashers were completely right about them being destructive and that making them summonable Pokemon was a terrible idea. The Pokemon also apologized to the Smashers and took away the black hole; they even agreed to sign the contract for Spear Pillar to be featured in the next Smash tournament at no cost.<p>

"Everyone stopped throwing things at us now. I guess the plan did work." said Falco during dinner.

"It wasn't much of a plan when you think about it. All we had to do was bring all of them together and just watch things happen." said Lucario.

"They probably would have destroyed the place individually anyway." said Dedede. "So, now that everything's back to normal, let's get back to eating!"

"It would suck if those Pokemon got angry again, huh?" said Wario. "Yes, this will work for the Garlic King's plan... WAHAHAHA!" Suddenly, the lunchroom got all quiet.

"...Wario, how long have you been sitting at our table?" said Meta Knight.

"_IT'S WARIO!_" screamed Ganondorf.

"**_KILL HIM!_**" screamed everyone but the Normals. Wario jumped on his motorcycle and gave everyone the finger.

"See you later peasants!" laughed Wario as he drove away, dodging the food, weapons, and bricks thrown at him.

"...What the hell was that about?" said Falco.

"I don't even know anymore." said Dedede.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF ARC 7<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Alright people, time to vote again! I've added another arc to the list, with King Dedede as the star because let's face it, Dedede's the Normal that got the least exposure. Let's show the guy some love, okay?<em>

_Oh yes, and I actually updated the Halloween story last week! I'll see if I can write another chapter for it today. The poll will close on the 19th, so get to voting people!_


	23. The Worst Kidnapping Plot Ever Part 1

_Hello everyone, sorry for the long wait. My school was buried with testing last week and I got a copy of Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask, so I didn't have much free time last week. But everything's fine now. I did manage to finish writing the Halloween story, which is a downright miracle considering how long I've procrastinated on it. Well, since that story is done, let's focus on this one._

* * *

><p><strong><em>ARC 8: THE WORST KIDNAPPING PLOT EVER - PART 1<em>**

* * *

><p>"Wahaha... yes, this plan is brilliant." said Wario. Lord Asshole was sneaking through the halls of the castle, carrying a paper scroll in his hands; the scroll was a treasure map, which led not to treasure, but a trap. "These loser heroes won't resist the call of treasure! Once they see this map, they'll follow what it says and wham! Right in my clutches!"<p>

He decided to leave the map in front of the Kirby dorm; he hoped that Kirby would find it in the morning, and tell his friends about it, so that they could start treasure hunting and land right into his trap. Well, that's Wario's logic anyway. Still, Kirby is one of the greatest heroes present, and by getting him out of the picture, Wario would have fewer people to deal with when he initiates his grand revenge scheme! Hm? His scheme? Yeah, that's not happening yet.

"Brilliant!" laughed Wario as he set the map in front of the door. "Soon, the Smash Castle will belong to the Garlic King once more!" Before anyone could wake up and find him, Wario took out his motorcycle and sped away, laughing all the way. Minutes later, something unexpected happened; King Dedede found the map, having just invaded the kitchen for a midnight snack.

King Dedede was looking over the map. "Wow, buried treasure! I need to tell Meta Knight about this!" Dedede opened the doors of the Kirby dorm and sped inside, leaving the map behind. That's when something even more unexpected happened; Popo had just left the restroom (the dorms don't have their own bathrooms, which is lame) and discovered the map on the floor.

"Oh wow! Treasure! Nana would love this! I wonder if I can get the others to go treasure hunting with me too..." said Popo. He went back to his dorm, bringing the treasure map with him. A few seconds later, Dedede burst into the hallway with Meta Knight.

"See? I found a treasure ma- where did it go?" said Dedede, looking astonished.

Meta Knight gave him a look and sighed. "You're just tired. Go get some sleep."

"But... but..." muttered a baffled Dedede as Meta Knight dragged him back inside.

* * *

><p>The next morning, the Normals were gathered at their usual table, eating breakfast. Even though things were going as usual, the Normals felt as if there's something... off...<p>

Falco was looking around, acting a bit paranoid. "Do you guys thinks that something is... missing?"

The others were thinking the same thing, but they couldn't put their finger on it. Lucario started scanning the room as well. "Hmm... the swordsmen are having a sword fight over maple syrup, like they normally do..."

"The puffball is running around and eating things with Yoshi. Nothing out of the usual." said Dedede.

"The kids are having their food fight..." said Meta Knight out of force of habit. However, when they looked over at the kid's table, they saw that no one was seated there.

"Where are the kids?" questioned Lucario. Peach, who just happened to pass by their table, was happy to answer that question.

"Popo apparently found a treasure map last night and the kids left this morning to find treasure." explained Peach.

"Ha! I told you there was a map!" laughed Dedede, shoving his finger in Meta Knight's face.

"Hold on, everyone's fine with the fact that the children found a treasure map out of nowhere and left on their own? Isn't anyone considering how dangerous that is?" asked the Pokémon.

"They're Smashers, Lucario. They can fight anything that goes their way, so how about you relax a bit and have a cup of tea?" offered the princess. Lucario took the cup of tea he was offered and started sipping, still feeling a bit uncomfortable about this.

"...Is anyone willing to bet that the map leads to a trap?" said Falco.

"What makes you say it's a trap?" responded Dedede.

"Well, treasure maps don't just fall out of the freaking sky. Plus, if what you're saying is true, that map was intended for either you, Meta Knight, or Kirby, and who the hell would go handing around treasure maps to people anyway?" pointed out Falco.

"But... I thought... real treasure..."

"Well, you should be glad that Popo took the map before you took the bait. Unfortunately, it seems that he's leading himself and the other kids into a trap." said Meta Knight.

"Wait, there's the Minister. Maybe we could tell him about it." said Lucario, spotting the Ancient Minister floating nearby. Lucario left the table, confronting him. "Minister, I have to tell you something about Popo and..."

"OH, YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THE CHILDREN. THE ICE CLIMBERS HAVE LED THEM ON ADVENTURES BEFORE, SO THEY SHOULD BE FINE." said the Minister.

"But it's probably a tra-"

"NONSENSE. ALL MAPS IN VIDEO GAMES USUALLY LEAD TO SOME TREASURE. WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW PEACH'S SUGGESTION AND FINISH THAT TEA?"

The Pokémon went back to the table and downed the rest of his tea. "...So yeah, he didn't believe me."

"Seriously? Are we the only ones that believe that this is an obvious trap?" asked Falco.

"Apparently... so, since everyone else is completely ignorant of this, it seems that rescuing them will be up to us." said Meta Knight.

"...Like usual?" added the penguin king.

"Yeah. I just noticed how we're the ones that always has to deal with this shit." muttered the avian.

"That is the curse of being the main characters of a story." sighed the small knight.

"Really though..." said Lucario. "You have to wonder who's the madman responsible for arranging this..."

* * *

><p>"...yes, come to me, my delicious garlic." said Wario. He was pulling cloves of garlic out of a bag and was eating them like candy. He was hiding behind a tree in a forest, waiting for his trap to be sprung; his attention was jolted away from the garlic when he heard screaming. He ran over to his trap, which was a very large pit; the fake map he made stated that treasure would be at the bottom of said pit. He couldn't wait to see the suckers that fell for it...<p>

"...Popo, are you sure that you were reading the map right?" asked Nana. Wario was disappointed when he looked into the pit. He expected Kirby and a bunch of others heroes to be at the bottom of the hole; instead, Ness, Lucas, Popo, Nana, and Toon Link were down there. He considered them heroes, just not very great ones that would pose a threat to him.

"Wah? How did I catch a bunch of kids?" said Wario. All of them looked up from their prison and their curiosity was turned into anger.

"What. _The. **Fuck.**_" said Ness.

"It's the Garlic King!" screamed Toon Link.

"Huh. This plan wasn't going as well as I thought it would." thought Wario as he stood several feet away from the hole as bombs, arrows, psychic attacks, and blocks of ice were thrown out of it.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>If you readers think that the plan is stupid... remember, this is Wario we're talking about. By the way, as some of you know, it's NaNoWriMo (or National Novel Writing Month). I unfortunately won't be participating in this, but I'd like to give a shout out and a salute to those participating. Oh yes, and to readers that live on the east coast, I hope that you're okay.<em>


	24. The Worst Kidnapping Plot Ever Part 2

_Hello everyone! I've found this neat writing program recently called ZenWriter, which I used to write up this chapter. The program is designed so that you can avoid distractions. You can put up a nice background, and it has its own music player, so you can import some your own music to listen to while you're writing. I can tell you that this program works very well, and it actually did a very good job at holding my attention to my writing. Why don't you guys give it a try?_

* * *

><p><em>THE WORST KIDNAPPING PLOT EVER - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>After the bombardment, Wario goes back to the hole and looks down, seeing an angry group of children. He scratches his head, wondering why his 'genius' plan failed to work.<p>

"I was supposed to bag Kirby and Mario and all those other heroic loserfaces! How did everything go wrong?" questioned Wario out loud.

"Well, for one, you left the map in the middle of a hallway." said Popo.

"B-But that was foolproof!" yelled Wario.

"Hey, King Moron, if you leave things in the middle of the hallway, anyone could walk across it. Just pointing that out." said Ness.

There was a brief silence before Wario pointed his fat finger at them. "YOU'RE LYING!"

"Well you're horrible!" shouted Toon Link.

The villain stopped to think things over a bit. "Hmm... maybe I could hold you kids for ransom instead. I could get control of the castle and some money! Yeah, brilliant!"

"...Someone's going to rescue us, you know." muttered Lucas.

"No they won't!" laughed Wario. "They all think you guys went on a stupid adventure, so they're completely fine about this! I doubt anyone's going to come to save you from me, the Garlic King!"

"...I brought a deck of cards." offered Nana, offering a way to spend their time before someone inevitably rescues them from the deep pit.

* * *

><p>Falco's Landmaster drove away from Smash Castle and into... wherever the hell they are. Oh my god, where is the Smash Castle located? How come I never thought about this before? Okay, in Attack of Giygas, the castle was floating over an ocean... somewhere... oh yes! It's in the ocean the Subspace Emissary takes place in! Okay, the story is now officially located in that region. There. Pro planning.<p>

"Can you get back to the narration?" muttered Falco.

Oh right, so the Landmaster rolls out of Smash Castle and starts hovering over the water surrounding the castle; eventually, the tank reaches land.

"Alright, so where are we supposed to go now?" questioned Lucario.

"Actually, I think I remember something!" exclaimed Dedede. "I remember on the map that the big 'X' was in the middle of some forest."

"Wait... forest? Are... are you sure it isn't the jungle?" said Falco, looking a little nervous.

"Yeah, it's in the forest and... oh crap." muttered Dedede, catching on; Lucario had the same grim expression on his face. Meta Knight was confused.

"What's wrong with the forest?" asked Meta Knight.

"Don't you remember? The forest here is an annoying place that somehow changes dimensions when you go through a door and weird shit like that." said Falco.

"You forgot about the flying puppets." said Dedede.

"Oh right,_ those_ things."

"...Where do the Puppits come from anyway, and who's holding their strings?" said Lucario. There was a brief silence, when everyone was trying to figure this out.

"...Well, we don't have anything to worry about. We're in a tank, after all." said Meta Knight. Everyone else started to breathe a little easier.

"Yeah, that's a good point. Nothing can take down my Landmaster!" laughed its driver.

"Alright then, to the forest!" said Lucario. They all headed toward the forest, ready for ridiculous door puzzles and creepy puppet fighting action.

* * *

><p><strong>RING RING RING<strong>

The Ancient Minister picked up the phone.

"HELLO?"

"Hello Minister! It is I, the Garlic King, and I have-"

"GOOD BYE WARIO." The Minister hung up the phone and went to go do his own business.

* * *

><p>"Huh. That ransom attempt didn't work." muttered Wario. He tries to put his phone away in his pocket when it suddenly gets smacked out of his hands. He looks down the pit angrily. "Alright, who's the wise guy?"<p>

All of the kids were playing cards and were indeed still trapped there. Ness looked up. "We didn't do it."

"Huh. That was probably the wind. You hear that wind? I'm on to you! Wahahahaha!"

"We're trying to play a game here!" shouted Nana from the hole.

* * *

><p>The Landmaster was parked at the outskirts of the forest; it's too big to fit through the doors that switched dimensions, so they had to leave it behind just in case the kids were trapped in some other dimension. Still, they had to leave someone behind to watch it.<p>

"I nominate me." said Dedede.

"...Yeah, Dedede." said Lucario.

"Dedede." voted Meta Knight.

"Alright Dedede. Keep the doors shut and don't blow up anything, alright?" said Falco as the three left the Landmaster.

"I make no promises." said Dedede.

"I'm serious. I'll beat the shit out of you if you scratch it up."

"ALRIGHT GEEZ! I was just trying to be funny." murmured Dedede. The three Smashers left the monarch behind and went on their quest. Upon reaching a random door, Meta Knight, Lucario, and Falco decided to split up.

"Falco and I will stay in this dimension." offered Lucario.

"What? Why do I have to go in the other dimension alone?" said Meta Knight. Not like he's scared or anything, just curious.

"You're the top tiered Smasher. Hell, you've even been banned from tournaments in the real world. You can take care of those... Puppits if you find them." pointed out Falco who actually shivered a little in fear. Meta Knight couldn't argue with that logic, so he went through while Falco and Lucario went out on their own path; Lucario scanned the area with his aura sight while Falco took out the small fry that was willing to mess with them. Thankfully, they haven't come across any Puppits, which was the only thing they worried about.

After kicking a Mite into the horizion, Falco asked, "Did you find them yet?"

"No... they might be on Meta Knight's side.." said Lucario.

Meanwhile, with Meta Knight, the small knight was walking through his side of the forest when he came across something odd: a spray paint can.

"What? A spray paint can in a forest?" wondered Meta Knight. He went further down the forest and found more spray cans; he followed the trail of litter when he finds himself in front of a giant wall, filled with graffiti. On the wall it said:

**tHe PuPpItS wIlL rIsE**

"...How the-" before he can finish, he felt a blow from behind, knocking him unconscious.

* * *

><p>"Do you have a 2?" asked Toon Link.<p>

"...Yes..." said Lucas. Toon Link stretched his arm to grab Lucas' card when the jerk who trapped them there suddenly fell down and landed on his arm.

"...Ha ha ha, wow, that hurts!" said Toon Link.

"_Lord Asshole?_ Why are you down here?" said Ness, slowly taking out his baseball bat to bash Wario's head in.

"Uh, I don't know. I was up there and now I'm down here with you crybabies." stated Wario.

"...Hold on, someone pushed you down here. Who did...?" said Popo. They all looked up and floating above the pit were a group of wooden things suspended by strings coming from nowhere: Puppits.

"...Oh my." said Nana.

"'Oh My' Is RiGhT iNdEeD, tInY sMaShEr." said a Puppit with red markings on its face, who is most likely the leader. "We'Ve BeEn HiDiNg In ThE fOrEsT eVeR sInCe YoU'vE dEfEaTeD oUr KiNg, TaBuU. wE, tHe PupPiTs, WiLl AvEnGe HiM! aNd It'S aLl ThAnKs To ThAt FaT gUy, WhO's GaThErEd YoU aLl HeRe."

Everyone glares at Wario, who was now realizing that this was a terrible plan.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Were you guys surprised by the Puppits? Personally, the Puppits were the most terrifying enemies in the game. What are they exactly and what's holding their strings? The world may never know.<em>


	25. The Worst Kidnapping Plot Ever Part 3

_Seriously, you people should try ZenWriter._

* * *

><p><em>THE WORST KIDNAPPING PLOT EVER - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>The Puppits swarmed over the pit, looking at the Smashers down below like they were part of a zoo exhibit. Wario was getting punched in all directions by the angry children, which is justifiable because A, it's his fault that they're in this mess in the first place, and B, he's an asshole and he deserves it.<p>

"Ow! Jeez! Wait a minute, how did you creepy things know about my plan? Oof!" screeched Wario.

"We DiDn'T. wE mErElY tOoK aDvAnTaGe Of YoUr PlAn." said the leader Puppit smugly.

"What are you going to do to us?" asked Nana, shaking in fear and anger.

"FiRsT, wE nEeD tO cOlLeCt AlL oF tHe OtHeR sMaShErS iN tHiS fOrEsT." The Puppit looks off in a different direction. "aH yEs, HeRe'S oNe Of ThEm NoW." Another Puppit flies over the hole and drops Meta Knight down into the hole; he was tied up in chains, preventing him from flying out of the hole and kicking Puppit ass.

"Ha ha! You got trapped in here!" laughed Wario.

"Says the person who's also trapped in... wait a minute, Wario? Why are you here? Did you orchestrate this whole thing?" questioned Meta Knight.

"Er... no. It's all the Puppits' faults. Yeah." lied the fat man.

"He's lying!" shouted Ness.

"The kid's delusional."

"Okay, what will you guys do after you gather the others and throw them down here?" asked Popo.

"We WiLl ThRoW eXpLoSiVe CrAtEs DoWn ThErE aNd ThEn ThRoW a ToRcH iN; tHeRe WiLl Be No SuRvIvOrS. wE wIlL bUrY yOuR aShEs AnD tRoPhIeS, aNd YoU'lL aLl LiE dOwN hErE, fOrGoTtEn."

There was an eerie silence, with all the Smashers legitimately horrified by this. Meta Knight was the only one with the courage to speak up. "Isn't that a little dark for this story?"

"YeS, yEs It Is."

"There was that arc where I went on a killing spree though. Good times." chirped Lucas.

"OkAy, MaYbE iT iSn'T sO dArK." admitted the leader. "wE wIlL rEtRiEvE tHe ReSt Of YoUr FrIeNdS. uNtIl ThEn, YoU mAy WaIt PaTiEnTlY fOr DeAtH." The Puppits all flew away, leaving the Smashers alone in the chasm.

"...Can you get off my arm now?" Toon Link asked Wario.

* * *

><p>Lucario and Falco were still walking through the woods, still having a bit of an easy time. Suddenly, Lucario spotted something; far in the distance, he could see a deep hole in the ground with several people in it. Before he could point it out to Falco, he saw something else: the hordes of Puppits coming to capture them.<p>

"Falco?"

"What?"

"RUN!" said Lucario, pointing at the Puppits at the front of the pack. He formed an aura sphere and threw it at them, causing an explosion. The two Smashers turned around and started to run away, both of them firing aura spheres and lasers at the creepy wooden bastards. Suddenly, something grabbed Lucario by the leg; a Puppit was hiding in a pile of leaves on the forest floor.

"WhErE dO yOu ThInK yOu'Re GoInG?"

"AAAAAHHH!" screamed Lucario, kicking the Puppit away. However, before he could stand up, he got tackled and pinned to the ground by several more Puppits. Falco didn't bother to help, and instead, he kept running. He quickly ducked behind a log and took out his cell phone.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the Landmaster, King Dedede was listening to girly Icelandic pop songs.<p>

"Disco girl, coming through, that girl is yooooouuuu..." sang Dedede. He was interrupted when he heard his cell phone ring; he quickly turned off his music before answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Dedede, get the Landmaster over here, now!" shouted Falco over the phone.

"But what if it has to go through a do-"

"All of the trouble is in this dimension! Just come here and help! Huh? Oh, you want a piece of me? Take this!" said Falco. Dedede heard sounds of fighting and struggling before the line went dead.

Dedede gulped. He may definitely be safe in the Landmaster, but the problem is, he had no idea how to pilot it. "I wonder what this button does." He pressed a button at the controls and suddenly the Landmaster speeds off into the forest, causing Dedede to scream his head off.

* * *

><p>"We FoUnD tHe ReSt Of ThEm." said one of the Puppits as they brought in Falco and Lucario. The two were immediately dropped into the hole; by then, Meta Knight had gotten out of his chains, but the circle of Puppits around the surface were a good enough defense that he kept getting hit back in.<p>

"Don't bother escaping." grunted Meta Knight with frustration.

"Alright then... can you guys bring us up to speed? We're not sure why a bunch of magical puppets threw us down this hole." said Lucario.

"Wario tricked us into this hole, the Puppits took advantage of it and pushed him in, and now we're going to die a flaming death, and we will never be found again. Thanks a lot Lord Asshole." said Ness.

"No problem." said Wario.

"OkAy, EvErYoNe Is GaThErEd HeRe. BrInG tHe CrAtEs AnD fLaMiNg ImPlEmEnTs." commanded the leader. Before the Puppits could scramble and do that, one Puppit came up to the leader.

"SiR, tHe BiRd SmAsHeR wAs CoNtAcTiNg SoMeOnE oN hIs PhOnE!"

"WhAt? WhO cOuLd He HaVe BeEn CoNtAcTiNg?" That question was quickly answered when the Landmaster barreled through the forest, running over trees and Puppits close to the ground. The high-tech tank uneasily turned to face the monsters. Within the Landmaster, King Dedede was quickly scanning through a manual to learn how to control the thing. He pressed a button, attempting to activate the Landmaster's speakers so he could address the Puppits.

"_Disco girl, coming through, that girl is yo-_" The music played out loud and was rapidly silenced as Dedede's voice came on air. "_Uh... that was the wrong button._" The Smashers down in the pit were both cheering and laughing.

"WhAt. WhAt Is ThIs." said the leading Puppit.

"Dedede! Kick his ass!" shouted Falco.

"No! YoU wIlL nOt StOp U-" said a random Puppit before getting completely vaporized by the Landmaster's cannons, along with all the other unfortunate saps floating next to him. The Puppits flew at the Landmaster and started slashing at it, trying to pull Dedede from it; the penguin countered by making the tank spin, throwing all the Puppits off and he finished them off by shooting them. The Puppit leader watched in disbelief; a quarter of his forces were already decimated.

"ReTrEaT! wE wIlL hAvE oUr ReVeNgE lAtEr! YoU hAvEn'T hEaRd ThE lAsT oF uS sMaShErS! wE wIlL bUiLd OuR oWn TaNkS aNd-" The Puppit leader ducked, dodging a Landmaster shot aimed at him.

"Yeah yeah, you'll get revenge. Look, all villains say that, and even I say that sometimes. Get lost already!" said Dedede, firing a warning shot into a group of trees. The wooden horde was forced to retreat into a door into the other dimension. Their leader gave the tank a cold glare before retreating into the door himself.

"Yay! We're saved!" said Toon Link. Dedede awkwardly drove the Landmaster into the pit to rescue the people inside, accidentally landing on the cartoon Link. "...Oof."

A hatch on the back of the Landmaster opened up, with Dedede at the opening to greet them. "Get in guys!" The kids and adult Smashers eagerly went in; before Wario could enter though, Falco turned around and kicked him in the crotch.

"What was that for...?" said Wario weakly.

"_Everything._" said Falco, closing the door behind him and leaving Wario behind. "Alright Dedede, take us home."

"Wait, you're letting me drive the rest of the way?" repeated Dedede in astonishment.

"Yup. You've earned it." Dedede excitedly got behind the controls and started to make the Landmaster rise out of the pit. Meanwhile, Meta Knight was confronting the child Smashers.

"Are you guys okay?" asked Meta Knight.

"We almost burned to death, but yeah, we're doing fine." said Ness.

"I'm traumatized. Again." said Lucas.

"My whole body's crushed. I'll get over it." said Toon Link.

"I promise not to pick up random maps anymore!" exclaimed Popo.

"That's good." said Meta Knight.

"I don't!" said Nana.

"That's good enough." sighed Meta Knight. Lucario was looking out the front window of the Landmaster when he noticed something hanging at the tip of the cannon.

"Wait, what's that?" said Lucario, pointing outside. Then, the thing starts pulling itself up the cannon; it was Wario.

"Wahaha! The Garlic King has escaped!" laughed Wario triumphantly. Dedede silently pressed a button and activated the cannon, blasting Wario off of it.

Falco gave him a pat on the back. "Nice! Maybe I could get you your own Landmaster."

"Really?"

"No. You could steal Wolf's though."

"Yeah!"

"If we drive fast enough, we could reach Smash Castle before lunchtime." announced Lucario.

"Hell yes, let's go!" cheered Dedede, driving through the trees and away from this death trap place. Back near the pit, Wario had luckily (for him) landed outside of the hole, but was badly charred.

"Oh, ThErE's A sMaShEr LeFt BeHiNd?" said the creepy voice of the Puppit leader. The door that lead to the other dimension opened back up as the Puppit leader floated back out.

"Hey, why are you even targeting me anyway? Those loser Smashers threw me out! I'm not a Smasher anymore." said Wario.

"ReAlLy? HoLd On, ArE yOu ThE gArLiC kInG?"

"Yeah! Have you heard of me?"

"YoU hElD fIrSt PlAcE iN tHe 'LiSt Of TeRriBlE fIcTiOnAl LeAdErS.'"

"...Yeah! First place! The Garlic King is number one!" cheered Wario before groaning in pain.

"I'm SoRrY tHeN. wE oNlY pLaN oN tAkInG rEvEnGe On ThE cUrReNt SmAsHeRs." The floating puppet turned around to enter its own dimension when Wario perked up.

"Wait, hold on! I have beef against those losers too!" Wario made an evil smile. "Will you help me in my plan to take over those losers' castle?"

* * *

><p><strong>END OF ARC 8<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Was King Dedede awesome for once? Yes, yes he was. Anyway, time to start voting for the next arc! The number of arcs that you can vote on hasn't increased; those will be the remaining arcs I'll write on, minus the one involving Wario's grand revenge. The poll ends on the 20th because of tradition, so get voting people!<em>


	26. The Penguin That Cried UFO Part 1

_Happy Thanksgiving everyone, enjoy this new chapter!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>ARC 9: THE PENGUIN THAT CRIED UFO<em>**

* * *

><p>Everyone was relaxing and eating in the lunchroom; however, they were a little anxious. Ever since it was learned that Wario is making active attempts to wreck their shit, they've been jumpy, freaking out at the sounds of motorcycles and screaming bloody murder when they smell garlic. When the Ancient Minister flew into the lunchroom that afternoon, several fired shots went at him, which he easily flew past.<p>

"Sorry sir." apologized Samus, putting away her arm cannon. "We're not taking any chances, just in case Wario shows up."

"...WAS HE REALLY THAT BAD?" questioned the Minister.

"_**YES.**_" said everyone in a ten-mile radius.

"...WELL, WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WARIO. IT'S NOT AS IF HE HAS AN ARMY OF, I DON'T KNOW, PUPPITS." The Minister floated over to the Normals table, which was the reason why he came in the first place. "DEDEDE."

The king of Dreamland was currently shoveling cooked ribs in his mouth, bones included. "Huh? Bhut do vou vant?"

"I AM HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR PUNISHMENT." replied the robot leader. Dedede spit out all of the bones into the Minister's face in dismay.

"What? I didn't do anything! Recently! Besides, you made all of us pay for the black market thing by making all of us cook breakfast, remember?" denied Dedede.

"Technically, the Minister's the one that ended up getting punished in the end." pointed out Lucario.

"YES. I STILL HAVE BREAD STUFFED IN MY CIRCUITRY; BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE BEAM CLAW BLACK MARKET. THIS IS ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU STOLE EVERYONE'S STUFF DURING THAT WEEK WHERE LUCAS FINALLY LOST IT."

"Oh yeah. That was a thing." said Dedede sheepishly. Suddenly he gets assaulted by several thrown objects from Smashers around the room.

"You sold some of our things, too!" shouted Ganondorf, throwing forks and plates at the penguin.

"Yeah, you-a even sold my-a barbie doll!" said Luigi angrily. He immediately stepped down when he was treated with weird looks by everyone else in the room.

"FOR THOSE CRIMES, DEDEDE, YOU WILL HAVE TO... _DO NIGHT WATCH DUTY FOR A WEEK._" said the Ancient Minister ominously. Gasps came from all over the room, including the people who had been throwing stuff at Dedede. The penguin was as white as a ghost.

"What? No! Anything but that!" pleaded Dedede; night-watch duty was easily the worst chore anyone in the castle could get. It involved staying up all night on the roof of the castle, watching for any intruders; there were rarely any intruders anyway, since no one would want to fuck with the Smashers.

"That's what happens when you jack everyone's shit." muttered Falco.

"Hey, I returned your wallet, didn't I?"

"_No._"

"...Oh yeah." Dedede turned back to the minister, looking desperate. "Come on, can't I do anything else?"

"NOPE. BESIDES, WITH ALL OF THE RECENT PANIC CONCERNING WARIO-"

"Lord Asshole!" shouted at least three random people.

"-RIGHT, WITH LORD ASSHOLE, I FIGURED THAT THIS WOULD BE KILLING TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. REPORT UP TO THE CASTLE ROOF AT 10:00 PM. OH, AND NO SENDING YOUR MINIONS TO DO YOUR JOB FOR YOU." The robot then flew away, throwing any other chance to change his mind out the window.

Dedede slumped into his seat, feeling a sense of dread inside of him; people, including the ones that hated his guts earlier, gave him looks of pity. Meta Knight encouragingly patted him back. "It won't be so bad. Besides, maybe this event will teach you to be responsible."

"Pfft. That will be the day." laughed Falco. Lucario and Dedede actually laughed along with him.

"Yeah... like that will ever happen." giggled a still depressed Dedede.

"Hold on, Dedede, don't they allow the people on night watch to order food to be taken up to them?" said Lucario.

"Really?" Dedede perked up.

Lucario took out a rulebook (which he kept on hand just in case another hostile takeover happens) and flips through it. "...Yes, you can order food; it's all free too!"

"Hell. Fucking. YES!" cheered the penguin, feeling cheerful about this one bright spot. Meanwhile, the Ancient Minister, having heard him, floated to the kitchen.

"HE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE FOOD... GET COOKING.."

* * *

><p>Dedede sat under the starry sky, gouging on a tray of cooked seafood. With the complimentary food, this job didn't seem too bad. Sure, it's still boring as hell and he has to stay up all night, but the food is definitely worth it.<p>

"Hey, can you get me a drink? Thanks." Dedede said to a walkie-talkie. Half a minute later, a dumbwaiter brought a can of soda up to him. The penguin opened the can and guzzled the drink down. "Yep. This is the... life?"

He suddenly saw something strange in the night sky; a blue streak was traveling across it. The streak stopped, and the light surrounding the object dimmed. Dedede gasped in shock as he saw what had been traveling across the sky; it was a large metal disc, otherwise known as a UFO.

"Holy crap!" Dedede quickly brought up the walkie-talkie. "CODE RED! EVERYONE COME UP HERE! HURRY!" The king was panicking; he was not sure how to deal with this. He could try using his rocket hammer and hope to to god that it smashes into the UFO, but if it missed, well, good bye hammer. So, he waited for backup to arrive, and sure enough, a minute later, all of the Smashers burst through the door to the roof, armed to the teeth and alert.

"DEDEDE! WHAT IS GOING ON?" asked the Ancient Minister.

"Is it Lord Asshole? If it is, Charizard will chase him down and set him ablaze!" boasted Red.

"Guys, there's a UFO in the sky and I don't know what to do! See?" Dedede pointed to the sky; all of the Smashers had confused looks on their faces. Dedede turned to follow their gazes and he realized that he was pointing at absolutely nothing. There was a confused silence before everyone started laughing, and trust me, they weren't laughing _with_ Dedede.

"Really? A UFO? Is that why we all came up?" giggled Peach.

"B-B-But, I saw it! This isn't funny guys!" said Dedede, feeling a bit frustrated.

"Hey, if we weren't laughing, we'd be beating you up. Be happy about that." growled Bowser.

"Dedede, are you sure it wasn't a hallucination from lack of sleep?" asked Meta Knight.

"Or did you just have too much sugar?" accompanied Lucario.

"Um... well, it was definitely there! You guys have to believe me!" pleaded Dedede. However, all of the Smashers were starting to leave, wanting to go back to sleep. The other Normals gave Dedede concerned looks before abandoning him as well; the only person up on the roof with Dedede was the Ancient Minister, and he wasn't very impressed.

"REALLY? A UFO? COME NOW, DEDEDE. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU WERE FEELING A LITTLE BORED, SO MAYBE YOU HALLUCINATED THAT TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF. HOW ABOUT I LET YOU PLAY GAMES WHILE YOU'RE UP HERE, JUST SO YOU WON'T RESORT TO IMAGINATIONS?" said the Ancient Minister.

"I'd be fine with that, but I didn't imagine it!" shouted a now desperate Dedede. The Ancient Minister shook his head and floated back inside.

"I'LL GET YOUR 3DS FOR YOU. WHY DON'T YOU CLEAR YOUR HEAD A LITTLE AND ORDER SOME COFFEE?" offered the Minister. As he left, Dedede slumped to the floor; he scanned the sky, desperately looking for any sign of the thing he saw.

"But... it was real..."

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Poor Dedede. Now, I'm putting up a poll, and the question is, "are you guys fine if I did writing commissions?" I'm just a high school student, and let's face it, everyone has things they want to buy, me included. I would like to see if anyone would be interested in commissioning me to write them things. I don't really have a solid plan yet, but I'd like to see your guys' opinion on this. Anyway, once again, have a Happy Thanksgiving!<em>


	27. The Penguin That Cried UFO Part 2

_Okay, that's interesting. Five of you are interested in me doing commissions, one of you is interested but also wants me to do original stories, and one of you is opposed to the idea. To those who are interested, I do not have a PayPal or Amazon Payments yet because I don't have a credit card and I just know that the bank will screw me over if I start an account. Also, I won't accept DeviantArt points because DA is lame. Eh, I'll figure it out later. Anyway, I've posted commission guidelines on my profile. If you want me to do a commission, I'll write it; I won't ask for payment until I'm done and have an account._

_God let's stop talking about how much of a sell-out I am and get back to the story. Will King Dedede prove the existence of the UFO? Let's find out!_

* * *

><p><em>THE PENGUIN THAT CRIED UFO - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>When King Dedede walked into the lunchroom in the morning, he was treated with laughter and scorn from all the Smashers, minus his friends (and Kirby) of course. He sat down in his chair, feeling agitated.<p>

Meta Knight was concerned. "How are you today, Dedede?"

"Annoyed." grunted the penguin. "No one believes me! I know I saw it!"

"Sleep deprivation is one hell of a drug." said Falco.

"No, it was really the- and how come no one believes me? Everyone's seen weirder!" King Dedede pointed over at a table, where Mario was socializing with Luigi. "Those two guys even stood through an alien invasion and went into space! _Twice!_"

Lucario realized that he raised a good point, even though he was a skeptic. "Well, maybe its an issue of discrete-ness. I mean, every time something weird happens, it makes itself upfront and known, so I guess people are used to that. I suppose no one's used to the idea of something simply isolating themselves and observing."

"Oh, that makes sense... wait, do you guys believe me?" asked Dedede. Meta Knight, Falco, and Lucario fidgeted in their seats awkwardly; they made small coughs and pretended that the question wasn't raised. Dedede frowned. "You guys suck..."

"Hey, why don't you get proof then?" suggested Falco. "If you want people to believe you, including us, then you must have pictures. Then again, people will probably say it's something else, like a blimp." He paused to take a sip from a cup of coffee. "Hell, it could actually be a blimp."

"It's not a blimp; it's a UFO, it's real, and I'm going to prove it to all of you!" King Dedede got out of his seat and stomped toward Mr. Game and Watch's desk in the middle of the lunchroom (yep, I remembered that it's there), attracting the attention and curiosity of most of the Smashers in the lunchroom. He slammed his hands on the desk dramatically, Phoenix Wright style. "Hey!"

"HEY... UMF... DELICIOUS..." Mr. Game and Watch was giving him the cold-shoulder, as he was too busy devouring pancakes.

"Um..."

"...OH, DEDEDE, CAN YOU GET ME SOME MORE MAPLE SYRUP?"

"Damn it Mr. Game and Watch, he's trying to ask you something!" Falco yelled from across the room.

"OH. SORRY. DEDEDE, ARE YOU HERE FOR A COPY OF THE SMASH GAZETTE?" The 2D man raised a copy of the newspaper. "WE'VE GOT AN INTERESTING RUMOR IN THERE ABOUT A GIANT SQUID HANGING AROUND A BEA-" The newspaper copy was smacked out of his hands. "...WOW, RUDE."

"Sorry man. Look, can I borrow one of your cameras?" Dedede asked.

"...IS THIS ABOUT THE UFO THING LAST NIGHT?"

"Yes, but come on! If the UFO is real, which it definitely is, it'll give you a great story for the newspaper! How 'bout it?" offered King Dedede. Mr. Game and Watch thought about it for a bit; he nodded and handed over Diddy Kong's camera.

"HERE YOU GO. DON'T SCRATCH IT, BECAUSE IT'LL MOTIVATE DIDDY KONG TO MAKE HIS OWN CAMERA."

"What's so bad about-"

"LAST TIME HE MADE HIS CAMERA RUN ON DEKU NUTS."

"It worked though, didn't it?" shouted Diddy Kong.

"_YOU BLINDED AN ENTIRE CLASS OF MIDDLE SCHOOLERS_. GETTING SUED IS NOT A GOOD THING, DIDDY." sighed Mr. Game and Watch. "KEEP THE CAMERA SAFE, ALRIGHT?"

"I will." promised King Dedede. "Not only that, but I will bring back photos of the UFO! I'll show all of you!" He angrily stormed out of the lunchroom.

"...He forgot his breakfast." noted Lucario. He made a grab for one of Dedede's breakfast muffins when the penguin ran back in, as fast as Sonic, picked up his food, and went back out the door.

* * *

><p>It was late at night, and King Dedede was starting his second day of night watch duty; he was not ordering food like crazy, like last night. Instead, he ordered cups of coffee moderately, and observed the sky, for any sign of the thing he saw yesterday. He assumed it would be back; the UFO had observed Smash Castle for a short period before it flew away. Maybe it would be back to watch the castle some more.<p>

"DEDEDE." A voice came from Dedede's walkie-talkie; it was the Ancient Minister. "YOU ARE ORDERING A LOT OF COFFEE. ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I'm fine." answered Dedede.

"DEDEDE, THIS QUEST TO LOOK FOR A UFO IS FRIVOLOUS DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT?" The king did not answer him, as he had spotted something in the sky; he saw the same glowing blip in the sky, observing the Smash Castle. He dropped the walkie-talkie and took the camera out instead, snapping as many pictures as possible. After taking enough pictures to drown a horse in, he picked the device back up.

"MINISTER! BRING MR. GAME AND WATCH WITH YOU UP HERE! I GOT PICTURES OF THE UFO!" shouted King Dedede, completely excited. He looked back at the sky and saw that the UFO was still there... along with another light... which was heading toward him. Dedede yelped as he brought his hand up to protect himself; the hand holding the camera, to be exact. The light hit the camera and the camera broke apart, ruining King Dedede's evidence. The king looked back up and saw that the UFO was now gone; this all happened at the worst possible moment, as the Ancient Minister and Mr. Game and Watch arrived just twenty seconds after that.

The floating robot leader looked up into the sky. "...I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. WHERE ARE YOUR PICTURES?"

"...Uh..." Dedede, stammered feebly, holding the broken bits of the camera.

Mr. Game and Watch was in hysterics. "**_YOU FOOOOOOL!_** YOU BROKE THE CAMERA! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? DIDDY IS GOING TO BUILD HIS OWN CAMERA! WITH THE DEKU NUTS! I NEED TO GO TO WAL-MART AND SEE IF THEY HAVE ANOTHER CAMERA BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" And so the small man jumped off the roof of the Smash Castle; if you're wondering why Mr. Game and Watch isn't a Normal, well, this is why.

"But... Minister, the UFO shot my camera..." said Dedede quietly.

"SURE IT DID." The Ancient Minister sighed. "HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE THE REST OF THE NIGHT OFF? YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT UP TO THIS." He got behind the penguin and started pushing him toward the door.

"_But it's real I tell you! IT'S REAL!_" screamed Dedede futilely as he was shoved back inside.

* * *

><p>To be continued...<p>

* * *

><p><em>And so Dedede's conga line of humiliation continues. Don't worry. Things will look up for him. Probably.<em>

_Remember, if you're interested in commissioning me for my bullshit stories, send me a PM!_


	28. The Penguin That Cried UFO Part 3

_What's up everybody! It's December, so do you know what that means? The War Against Giygas will start soon! Oh jeez, look at the number of stories I'm going to be working on: The Normals (which will end fairly soon), The Trapped Series, Diary of a Psychopath, and that. That's not even counting one-shots I want to work on. Well, winter break is coming soon, so I'll have some time to work on all this._

_Anyway, here's the last part of this arc, I hope you all enjoy._

* * *

><p><em>THE PENGUIN THAT CRIED UFO - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>The mocking that came at Dedede when he came to the lunchroom was even worse than yesterday. The penguin sat down at the Normals table, slamming his head on the surface out of frustration. After a minute of slamming his head and getting concerned looks from the others, he stopped to ask a question.<p>

"Do you guys think I'm going crazy?" asked Dedede.

"Well, if you are... then you definitely can't be a Normal." said Falco.

"What do you mean by that?" questioned Lucario.

"Our group is made up of all the sane people in this household. Since Dedede here is clearly losing it, then he can't be a Normal." he elaborated.

"That... yeah, that's a good point."

"I'm not losing it! It's real I tell you, real!" screeched Dedede. Attracted by the sound of his frustration, Diddy Kong came up to him, holding a camera made of wood and bamboo.

"Hey Dedede, smile for the camera!" Diddy pressed the button on the camera; the shutter launched a Deku Nut into Dedede's face, providing the camera's flash as the picture was taken. The Normals were still dazed by the Deku Nut as Diddy sauntered off, photo in hand. "This will be a good cover image for tomorrow's paper!"

"That... that stupid monkey..." muttered Falco, snapping out of it.

"Great, I'm going to be a laughingstock..." said Dedede before he went back to slamming his head on the table.

Meta Knight stopped him, offering friendly help. "How about we do night watch with you tonight?" Gasps were heard all over the lunchroom; night watch was already a terrible job (minus the complementary food, of course), but someone blatantly volunteering for the job is insanity.

"...Yeah! If you guys see the UFO too, then I'm definitely not crazy! ...You guys are serious about helping me, right?"

"I am." Meta Knight glanced over to Lucario and Falco. "What about you two?"

"I'd be willing to help." said Lucario positively.

"Tsk. You can count me out." said Falco. "I'm not really a night person, so there's no way I'm staying up all night to look for a stupid UFO that may or may not exist." He pointed at Lucario. "Besides, with that guy's eyes, you definitely won't need me."

"That makes sense. I guess." said Dedede. He awkwardly scratched his head, "Um, do any of you have a camera? I'm sure there's no way Mr. Game and Watch will give me one."

"Why don't you steal a camera?" asked Falco. He pointed at the pocket where he used to keep his wallet in, while scowling. "You're really good at stealing stuff. Especially my wallet. You prick."

"...Did I not return that ye-"

"_No._"

"...Well, we need some way to get evidence, and none of us have cameras." Meta Knight made a regrettable sigh. "Okay Dedede, looks like you have to steal a few cameras."

"Yes!"

"And give Falco his wallet back already."

"...Do I have to?"

* * *

><p>It was night time yet again, and this time, Meta Knight and Lucario accompanied Dedede at the top of the castle. Meta Knight and Dedede had binoculars while Lucario scanned the sky with his eyes; Dedede had also ordered coffee for everyone, so they can stay up through the night. The three had already been watching the sky for an hour, but so far, nothing has shown up; they decided to pass the time with discussion.<p>

"So, the UFO showed up the last two nights, right?" asked Lucario.

"Yeah." Dedede answered.

"Then how are you sure if it will show up a third time?"

"...Uhh..."

"...You're discouraging him, Lucario." Meta Knight muttered to Lucario.

"Oh... um, hey, look!" Lucario pointed at the sky to distract Dedede from his own disappointment; it was a clear night, with many stars shimmering in the sky. "The stars look beautiful today, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does." said Meta Knight, playing along. "Look, it's the Little Dipper."

Dedede decided to enjoy himself as well and looked around for constellations. "Hey, that group of stars make up one of the constellations, right?"

"I believe that that's the constellation, Orion."

"Neat. Hey look, one of the parts of Orion is moving!" All three of them then did a double take, when they noticed that one of the stars in Orion was indeed moving. However, it turned out that the moving star was a light covering the actual star; the light in the meantime was now sailing across the night sky.

Lucario took a closer look at the blip of light and found that something circular and metallic was emitting the light. Lucario reeled in shock. "Oh my Arceus, Dedede, you were right! It's the UFO!"

"Yeah! I was right! Take that, everyone!" Dedede made a triumphant laugh as he readied his camera; Lucario picked up his camera as well and they started snapping pictures. Meta Knight in the meantime decided to contact the Ancient Minister.

"DEDEDE? IS THIS ABOUT THE UFO, AGAIN? I SWEAR, IF IT IS..." the robot leader answered.

"No, it's me, Meta Knight!" snapped Meta Knight. "Look, Dedede was telling the truth the entire time; the UFO is real. Get all the other Smashers up here, now!" The Ancient Minister did not argue with him, since he found Meta Knight trustworthy.

"ACK!" Dedede and Lucario shouted, with melted, broken pieces of stolen cameras in their hands. Lucario was in utter disbelief. "It shot our cameras!"

"Shit, not again." muttered Dedede. The UFO was repeating what had happened last night, and was now attempting to fly away so that Dedede, Lucario, and Meta Knight would be left alone, looking like fools. But suddenly, before the UFO could do that, something shot at it; a lone Arwing was soaring through the sky, shooting at the UFO. The walkie-talkie came alive with activity, but not from the Ancient Minister.

"Remember when I said I wasn't going to help?" said Falco's voice. "Yeah, I lied."

"Alright! Thanks a bunch, Falco!" said Dedede. Falco's Arwing circled the UFO, shooting at it and blocking its attempts to escape; while that happened, the rest of the Smashers came to the top of the castle. They were prepared to mock and laugh at Dedede, but that plan crumbled and burned when they looked into the sky and saw that the UFO was real. "Yep. It's real. Suck it."

"Can I take pictures?" asked Diddy Kong.

"NO." said Lucario. "I mean, we already have pictures." Lucario looked down at his hands. "Well, used to."

"So can I-"

"Please don't."

"WELL, WE WON'T NEED EVIDENCE, AFTER FALCO IS DONE WITH IT." said the Ancient Minister. Back up in the sky, Falco finally managed to get a direct hit on the UFO; the object caught on fire and fell out of the sky, conveniently landing on the roof. The Smashers gathered around it, expressions of curiosity and fear written on their faces; the UFO was a lot smaller than it actually looks. Dedede took one look at it and immediately recognized it.

"Hey, you're a Mr. UFO! From my universe!" exclaimed Dedede; the small UFO was indeed actually the UFO enemy in the Kirby games. It opened his eyes and it widened when he saw people glaring at him from all directions.

"**uhhh... what's up?**" said the Mr. UFO.

"...Can I eat him?" requested Kirby.

"DON'T." said the Ancient Minister. He floated down to the Mr. UFO's level. "WHY HAVE YOU BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE SMASH CASTLE?"

"**...i was hired to spy on all of you.**" The Mr. UFO admitted.

"BY WHO?"

**"some fat fellow. called himself the garlic king or something."** All of the Smashers turned silent, with the sound of crickets being the only noise.

"**_...SHIT!_**" everyone screamed.

* * *

><p>In the forest's alternate dimension, Wario had been discussing his plan with the Puppit King.<p>

"...yEs, ThAt SoUnDs LiKe A gOoD pLaN. yOu NeEd SoMe DiStRaCtIoN, tHoUgH, oThErWiSe, ThE sTrOnGeSt Of ThE sMaShErS wIlL rIsE aBoVe AnD fIgHt BaCk." the Puppit King said, having listened to Wario's plan, which was actually good this time.

"Don't worry about those losers. They won't see us coming!" laughed Wario. Suddenly, one of the dimension spanning doors opened up and a battered Mr. UFO floated in, holding a slip. Wario grabbed it and tried to read it. The key word is 'tried'. "Hmm... bah! The Garlic King does not understand Greek!"

"It'S uPsIdE dOwN, yOu FoOl." sighed the Puppit King. Wario turned the slip upside down; it read, 'I QUIT.'

"Wah? Why are you quitting? I need you to spy on those suckers!"

"**it's much too dangerous for me.**" murmured the Mr. UFO as it left. Before he left through the door, he added, "**by the way, they know that you're responsible for this."**

The Puppit royalty gave Wario a look. "...Fine. We'll think of a stupid distraction."

* * *

><p><strong>'UFO WAS REAL! DEDEDE EXPECTS APOLOGIES FROM EVERYONE'<strong>  
><strong>'THE GARLIC KING IS ACTIVE - YOU MAY PANIC NOW'<strong>  
><strong>'DEKU NUT CAMERAS DEEMED EXTREMELY UNSAFE'<strong>

Those were the three top headlines in the Smash Gazette the following morning; Dedede was receiving apologies from everyone who mocked him, the Smashers were freaking out about Wario coming back to wreck their shit, and Diddy Kong is not allowed to be on reporter duty until they buy an actual camera.

"He certainly seems happier." said Meta Knight, looking at Dedede, who had a crowd of people around him.

"Yeah. But what are we going to do if Lord Asshole eventually shows up again?" inquired Falco.

"We just do what we usually do to solve problems." answered Lucario.

"Kick its ass?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p><em><strong>END OF ARC 9<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Okay, that chapter is done, the poll is up, and I'm going to have plenty of writing to do in the coming weeks. Yay. No one's commissioned me, but hey, fingers crossed. The poll will have only two choices; I've removed the Lucario getting obsessed with Coin Launcher choice, because, let's face it, it sounds like the most boring choice. Plus it's irrelevant to the build up for the last story arc. Sadly, this means that this is the last poll for you guys to decide what arc I write. Boo. The poll will end on the 10th, to keep in line with the fact that this will be the 10th arc, and I'm OCD about this kind of stuff. Get to voting, and see you guys next time!<em>


	29. The Great Beach Fiasco of 2012 Part 1

_Hello everybody, this is HyperInuyasha, and welcome back to Let's Write The Normals! It's been four days since the poll should have ended (why haven't I closed it yet?), so clearly, everyone's due for a new chapter! Meanwhile, I've started The War Against Giygas, and overall, people seem to like it. Man, I'm going to do a lot of writing over Winter Break._

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 10:<strong> THE GREAT BEACH FIASCO OF 2012 - PART 1_

* * *

><p>The Smashers were all gathered around the tv screens showing the leadership boards and schedules for all of them, with expressions of befuddlement on their faces; the screens only said, 'Come to the lunchroom when you wake up' on them. What could this mean? Is the Garlic King upon them? Another Subspace Emissary incident? They turned their heads when they heard the doors open; the Ancient Minister was coming in. And so the poor robot got bombarded by so many questions that he was crushed by their weight. Without a proper leader, the castle dissolved into chaos; a singularity of anarchy formed, killing the Smashers along with the entire dimension.<p>

**The End**

Okay, that's not went down. Still though, the fighters were asking a hell of a lot of questions.

"What is the meaning of this?" questioned Lucario.

"Are we under attack?" asked Jigglypuff, climbing up on the other Pokemon's head to get attention.

"Are we not going to beat each other up today?" inquired Captain Falcon, climbing up on top of them; obviously, Lucario couldn't hold both of them and they all ended up falling over.

"NO, WE'RE NOT UNDER ATTACK, BUT YOU CAN STILL BEAT EACH OTHER UP IN WHERE WE'RE GOING." said the Ancient Minister.

"_YES!_" cheered the captain, stirring on the floor.

"Wait, where are we going?" asked Meta Knight.

"WELL, YOU'VE ALL BEEN WORKING AND FIGHTING HARD, SO..." Suddenly, the image on the screens changed; it was now showing a nice sandy beach stretching into a vast ocean, with the sun sailing overhead. "...WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A DAY OFF AT THE BEACH!"

All of the Smashers went into a clamor; this is too good to be true! "Whoa, seriously?" Bowser said in complete surprise.

"Did you hear that guys? We're going on vacation!" Red said to his Pokémon, who were in their Pokeballs and unable to hear him at all.

The Normals were ecstatic as well; even Meta Knight was giddy with joy. "It'd be nice, to step out of the castle a bit. Well, for anything other than a misadventure."

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch." advised a box shuffling around everyone's feet. "There are many ways someone can die at a beach. Drowning in water, drowning in sand, getting drowned in water because you're buried in sand, drinking too much water, angering a giant squid, angering a tiki god..."

"Calm down Snake, don't be a fuddy-duddy! Here, have some tea!" Peach took out a steaming hot cup of tea and poured it on the box, the liquid dripping through the material. Seconds later, Snake threw the box off of himself and ran away screaming.

"I don't think that's how you give people tea." said King Dedede.

"SETTLE DOWN EVERYONE. OKAY, SO I RENTED A BEACH HOUSE ON THE COAST, WHICH IS WHERE WE'LL BE STAYING. NOW, EVERYONE DECIDE ON A VEHICLE TO RIDE IN TO GET THERE AND I'LL GUI-" Before the robot could finish, he got trampled on by a mob of Smashers rushing to the castle's hanger, eager to start their morning at the beach.

* * *

><p>The Halberd arrived (everyone chose to ride in that since it was practical) at a small cabana near the edge of the sea. The water was good, the sand wasn't littered with rocks and other small pointy shit, and the sun was radiating a healthy warmth. For breakfast, Toon Link kidnapped the local pig population and Peach served out tea; Captain Olimar's Pikmin were sadly used as a vegetarian option. After a delicious breakfast, everyone set out to have fun: some people went out for a swim and held races, a few others started a volleyball game with a Bob-Omb as a ball, a handful of Smashers were building sandcastles, and the rest sunbathed and chatted. Meta Knight was participating in the volleyball game, Falco was swimming, and Lucario was relaxing out on the sand; the only one not doing anything was Dedede, who was sitting alone at the steps of the beach house. Lucario, who was sunbathing nearby, noticed him.<p>

"Hey Dedede. Why aren't you doing anything?" The Pokémon asked.

Dedede sighed. "Don't tell anyone this, but... I'm not very athletic."

"...Uh-huh."

"Yeah. I can't swim well, and I suck at volleyball; blowing up would suck." Dedede said as he heard an explosion from the volleyball court.

"Why don't you just sunbathe?"

The king gave him an utterly serious look. "How is laying around and letting the sun fry you 'fun'?"

"...You got me there." Lucario sighed. He looked over to a group of palm trees and an idea formed in his head. "Hey, I thought of something to do; just you and me, Dedede."

* * *

><p>"Five points!" screamed out the Waddle Dee as he smacked into the palm tree; King Dedede and Lucario was doing a target practice-like game, with palm trees as the targets; they get more points if they go for the leanest parts of the tree.<p>

Lucario threw an aura sphere at one of the trees and laughed as it hit. "Ten points!"

"Oh yeah? How about this!" Dedede wound up his arm and threw a Waddle Dee as far as he could; the little guy hit a skinny part of a tree.

"Fifteen points... ow..." The Waddle Dee slid off as Dedede gloated.

"Ha! I'm winning, chump!"

Lucario started to sweat nervously, feeling envious. He now knew how Falco felt that one time they all made breakfast; admittedly, King Dedede was a loser, and having him be better than you at something feels like a punch to the gut. Lucario gulped; he couldn't lose to Dedede.

"Okay, here I go..." Lucario summoned the energy to form another Aura Sphere; aiming for the leanest part of the tree, he threw the sphere, hoping that it hits. The Aura Sphere flew toward it... and ended up narrowly missing the tree. The energy ball continued to travel forward until it lost its power to defy gravity and sunk down into the sea.

"...Man, that was way off." commented Dedede.

"...Do I get a redo?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lucario's Aura Sphere was still intact and traveling through the water, drifting downward. Eventually, the sphere reached the ocean bottom and hit something; then, the something blinked. Large yellow eyes opened and stared up toward the surface. It lifted its appendages from the sandy floor; the tentacles waved in the ocean currents as the giant squid growled angrily. Do fish growl? How the hell should I know, I hate biology.<p>

"Who... dare... _disturbs... **ME!**_"

* * *

><p>Back at the beach, Snake hung around the Ancient Minister at the beach, sitting on his box and smoking. Suddenly, the man cringed, as if he felt something horrible rising up.<p>

"...My danger senses... are tingling..." he muttered.

"THEY'RE ALWAYS TINGLING, SNAKE. THEY ALWAYS ARE." the Ancient Minister replied.

"No, listen, I feel as if something horrific is going to happen, like, seven minutes and twelve seconds from now."

"...THAT IS ODDLY SPECIFIC."

"I don't tell you how to live your life."

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Let's have a moment of silence for the poor people killed in the very recent Connecticut school shooting. Hey, I can hear you talking back there, 'people blaming this on video games!' Ugh... I heard about this in the middle of school; I hope no one judges me too much for crying... those poor innocent children...<em>


	30. The Great Beach Fiasco of 2012 Part 2

_Ah yes, let's celebrate Christmas with a chapter taking place at a sunny beach._

* * *

><p><em>THE GREAT BEACH FIASCO OF 2012 - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>While Lucario and King Dedede were playing their game of target practice and Meta Knight was participating in a deadly game of volleyball, Falco was out swimming. The water was nice and warm, and it didn't taste like it was pissed in (not that Falco would know). A bit further, Falco saw Luigi just bobbing in the water, floating in place. "Hey, Luigi, what are you scared about?"<p>

"W-What if there are-a s-sharks here?" said Luigi, who was visibly trembling in the water.

"I doubt that the minister would invite us to a beach that's infested with goddamn sharks." stated Falco.

"B-But you-a never k-know!"

Falco sighed, facepalming. "Damn it Luigi... look, just swim out for a bit. Nothing will happen."

Luigi looked back from him to the horizon several times before nodding. He cautiously swam further out; upon seeing that nothing horrible was happening to him, he cheered. "You were-a right! Nothing will-a happen to me!"

The avian grinned. "See? It was all in your stupid, deluded head."

"Yea- AAAAHHH!" Suddenly, the plumber was pulled down into the watery depths by something.

"...Uh... Luigi?" Falco waited for a response from Luigi, but he got nothing. "...This isn't funny. Come out." There was still no reply; this could mean only one thing: something terrible was going to happen. Before anything else could happen, Falco started swimming back to the shore; he passed by the other swimming Smashers, who had apparently failed to notice Luigi's abrupt disappearance. He decided to go to Meta Knight first, who was in the middle of a rousing game of Bob-Omb volleyball. "Hey, Meta Knight!"

"I'm a little busy right now." The small knight huffed, hitting the Bob-Omb as it came over back to the other side of the court. Falco growled and as the Bob-Omb came back to Meta Knight's side, he jumped up and whacked the bomb into Ike's face.

Meta Knight's team cheered, while Ike's team was less than amused. "Hey, he's not on your team! That move was illegal!" Link yelled.

"Well screw you! Point to us!" Ganondorf, on Meta Knight's team, laughed.

"...Pain..." muttered Ike.

While the volleyball teams got into an argument, Meta Knight finally found the time to talk to Falco. "What do you need?"

"Meta Knight, I was swimming earlier and I saw Luigi get pulled into the sea by... something!" Falco elaborated. Then, in the corner of his eye, he could see something happening in the beach water. "Look!" He pointed Meta Knight over to the event; Kirby was innocently floating in the water with a beach floatie when he was suddenly sucked into the water.

"...Yes, that is certainly suspicious."

"No shit."

"Well, come on, we have to tell the others about this." said Meta Knight. The two walked over to an area of the beach filled with palm trees and they found Dedede and Lucario there, still chucking Waddle Dees and Aura Spheres at the trees.

"Hey guys!" chirped King Dedede. "Do you want to play?"

"No... and why are you two using those as throwing objects? Couldn't you have found some rocks?" Meta Knight questioned.

"...I guess we could have done that." Lucario admitted.

"Guys, sorry if this alarms you, but there's probably a fucking monster in the water that's trying to kill us." blurted Falco; Dedede and Lucario were indeed alarmed by this.

"Oh, I see. Well, then let me take a look..." Lucario used his aura vision and looked toward the ocean; he gasped in fright upon seeing what was there. "Um... it seems that there's a giant squid that's trying to sack everyone." Everyone else was as quiet and shocked as he was.

"...Huh, Snake was right for once." said Dedede.

"We need to tell everyone about this!" Meta Knight exclaimed.

"I doubt that they'll listen to us, though. Everyone just wants to enjoy a nice day at the beach, and hearing news about a giant squid wanting to murder the shit out of them would be unbelievable to them." Falco said.

"Yeah, they would probably keep themselves ignorant just so they could enjoy things." agreed Lucario.

"We have to tell someone though. I'm tired that we're always the ones solving these problems." grumbled Dedede. They left the grove of palm trees in search of the Ancient Minister, who was the only person that was likely to listen to them; they found the robot ruler back at the beach house, who was in the middle of a heated argument with Snake.

"I'M TELLING YOU, THIS BEACH IS SAFE!" the Minister said.

"This day is destined to end in disaster, don't be dense!" Snake yelled.

The Minister noticed the Normals and turned to them, looking at them pleadingly. "CAN YOU TELL SNAKE THAT NOTHING HORRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY?"

"Actually, there's a giant squid in the water that's going to ruin our day." said Dedede. The Ancient Minister just floated there in awkward disbelief while Snake celebrated.

"Ha! I told you! I was right!" Snake said mockingly.

**RUUUUUUMBLE**

"...What was that?" said Falco. All of them looked out to the ocean; a giant tentacle was rising out of the water, clutching Luigi.

"Help-a me!" screamed Luigi. All of the swimmers noticed him, but it was too late; the tentacle slam down into the water and created a tidal wave, washing them away. Another tentacle appeared, this time holding Kirby, and made another tidal wave, which ended up hitting the sunbathers.

"What is happening!" screamed Zelda as she was washed into the sea with the other bathers. A few seconds later, more tentacles rose out, this time clutching all the swimmers and sunbathers, who were desperately struggling to get out of its grasp.

Finally, a head came out of the water; it was the giant squid, who looked a bit like Glooper Blooper, except way more deadly and giant. "_**How dare you disturb my slumber?**_"

"We didn't do anything to you!" shouted Zelda in his hand (tentacle; whatever), who had turned into Sheik. "Who pissed you off anyway?"

"**I don't know... some blue sphere came out of nowhere and hit me on the head... for that, _I BLAME ALL OF YOU_!**" The squid roared angrily, preparing to attack the volleyball players, who had just finally realized that there was a giant monster out for their blood.

Meanwhile, Meta Knight, Dedede, Falco, ROB, and Snake were glaring at Lucario, who was looking at the floor to avoid their gazes. "...Whoops?"

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>I'm not getting a Wii U for Christmas, but hey, it's not about the presents; it would have been nice though. Spend time with your families everyone, and have a merry Christmas!<em>


	31. The Great Beach Fiasco of 2012 Part 3

_Hey guys, let me tell you a story. A long time ago (like, more than a year), I started a fictionpress account. However, I've done jack shit with it. I am pleased to say that I decided to actually write something and put it up there; check out my fictionpress account under the same username, and tell me what you think of my dumb story!_

_And now, back to our heroic shenanigans._

* * *

><p><em>THE GREAT BEACH FIASCO OF 2012 - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>The squid roared loudly, thrashing its tentacles around, much to the dismay of his hostages. "<strong><em>I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU AAAAAALLLLL!<em>**" The volleyball players snapped out of their shock to respond to the situation; meanwhile, all the sane people (and Snake) were still glaring at Lucario, who was still looking at his feet in shame. Goddamn people, you've been doing this for like, since Christmas Eve. Can't you all drop your grudges already; especially you, Mr. Angry Giant Killer Squid.

"Hyper, real-life time and fanfic time are completely separate from each other." Meta Knight explained.

Yeah, yeah, so you keep telling me. But seriously, stop being angry at Lucario.

"HE'S RIGHT. WE HAVE TO PUT ASIDE OUR ANGER TO RESCUE THE OTHER SMASHERS." the Ancient Minister agreed.

"Can't those guys handle it?" Falco said, referring to the volleyball players declaring war on the giant squid; before they could get close to the guy, the gigantic sea creature smacked them away with a tentacle.

"Apparently not." commented King Dedede as he watched them fly into a hill of sand. They'll never get the sand out of their shorts.

"Everyone I was playing volleyball with excel at hand-to-hand combat; seeing as they can't get near the squid before getting repelled, they're mainly useless in this situation." Meta Knight stated.

"Well, I have a few rockets in my disposal, as I felt that something like this would happen." Snake said. No one chose to doubt why he would do such a thing. "However, I don't think it'll be enough..."

"I could keep throwing Waddle Dees at the guy until I finally throw a Gordo." suggested the penguin king. The Ancient Minister stared down at him.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST THROW THE GORDOS?"

"Blame my voice actor."

"Well, we need some way to get the people on the ground to help attack it." said Meta Knight.

"I'll distract it." Everyone froze in awe as they watched Lucario courageously step forward. "I caused this mess, so I need to help fix it."

"I'LL HELP YOU OUT THEN." The Ancient Minister produced both a built in laser gun and the revolver he used to shoot people's kneecaps during the Kid Icarus: Uprising/black market shenanigans. Lucario matched him in sheer backass-ery by forming aura between his fingers, which crinkled with the blue energy. King Dedede threw Waddles Dees, Waddle Doos, and Gordos into the air and started to juggle them. Clearly, these guys were a force to be reckoned with.

"...Will you guys stop posing and start fighting that monster?" Snake snapped. With their priorities set straight, the trio started to head toward the shore. Meta Knight got into the air and flew after them; this left Falco alone with Snake. "And you..."

"Yeah?"

"...want to help me launch rockets into that squid's face?"

Falco grinned. "Hell. Yes."

* * *

><p>"Can't... get... free..." Ganondorf grunted as he tried to squirm out of the squid's grasp.<p>

"Game and Watch! Can't you communicate with it? You're like, part squid, right?" Toon Link yelled.

"I AM NOT PART SQUID!" The 2D man shouted back.

"Can you people save us already!" Ness shouted.

"Hey, we're trying kid!" Ike yelled, after his and the others' fourth rescue attempt; if the squid had more tentacles, he would have grabbed them a long time ago. Then, the squid suddenly flinched, something having hit it. "...We didn't do that."

"_**Who dares lay a hit on me?**_" the squid questions in a booming voice. He looked up and saw Meta Knight buzzing around him like a fly. "_**Annoying pest!**_" He hurled Toon Link into Meta Knight, knocking him out of the sky and making them fall.

"Why do bad things keep happening to meeeeee..." Toon Link screamed as he hit the ground. Meta Knight however recovered, spread out his wings again, and continued his assault on the squid. The beast roared and decided to refocus his efforts on him and the volleyball players; before he could start smashing the hell out of them, he got blasted by something at his side. The squid turned his head and saw the Ancient Minister flying around, ray gun and revolver in tow.

"LET GO OF MY SMASHERS!" He shouted as he continued to shoot away.

"_**What. This is just absurd!**_" The squid was getting burned by all the shots, but he managed to stand up to them. Then, he felt something bump him from behind. "_**What now.**_" He turned and saw King Dedede wearing a floatie, tossing Waddle Dees at him, who proceeded to drown immediately after crashing into him.

"Take... this!" Dedede shouted as he continued to toss the cannon fodder at him.

"_**Are you serious? ARE YOU ALL ON RETARD PILLS OR SOMETHING?**_" the squid screamed.

"Hey, I'm among the sanest Smashers, so excuse you! Just... wait..." Then King Dedede threw his ace in the hole; a Gordo flew out of his hands and stuck onto the squid.

_**"AAAAAARGH!**_"

"There we go!"

"_**YOU... YOU'RE ALL GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!**_" the aquatic beast propelled himself out of the water and landed back down with a crash, creating a tidal wave that washed away everyone but Meta Knight and the Ancient Minister; before he went back to terrorizing them, guess what happened?

"Take this!" A voice shouted as something hit the monster.

"_**YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. WHO IS IT THIS TIME?"**_ the squid wondered, seeing as he was already fighting a group of volleyball players, a flying swordsman, a robot, and a penguin that threw living things from hammerspace. At the shore, he saw Lucario, and he immediately recognized the blue energy forming within his hands. "_**YOU! IT WAS YOU WHO ATTACKED ME! I WILL GUT YOU LIKE THE FISH I EAAAAAAT!**_" In a moment of blind rage, he completely focused his rage on Lucario, trying to smash him with his appendages; he ignored everyone else, which allowed them to attack.

"He's open! KICK HIS ASS!" Captain Falcon screamed. All of the hand-to-hand fighters, now presented with the opportunity to do some damage, ran into the water screaming bloody murder and started hacking away at the squid; the squid started screaming, and looked panicked. His eyes kept shifting its gaze; he was not sure who he should be attacking.

And then something flew into his forehead and exploded, injuring him quite a bit. "_**ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?**_" Then another projectile hit him and exploded, much to his dismay.

Back at the beach house, Snake's rocket launcher was set up on a stand (like a tripod camera or something), with Snake and Falco standing behind it, laughing to each other.

"Nice hit!" Snake complimented.

"Alright, it's your turn to shoot!" Falco said. Snake nodded, played around with the launcher, and fired yet another rocket at the squid.

At this point, the squid was being attacked by: a skilled bat-winged swordsman, an angry group of people attacking him with their fists or swords, a hovering robot that was shooting him with lasers and bullets, a penguin who was throwing Waddle Dees, Waddle Doos, and (most painful of all) Gordos, a Pokemon who threw hard-hitting balls of aura, and two people screwing around with a rocket launcher; it clearly wasn't his day. As the barrage continued, he started to lose his grip on some of the Smashers he held captive and they joined along in the attack. This was about the point where the squid realized that this whole thing was dumb and that he would probably die if he continued trying to attack him.

"_**You know what, this isn't fair anymore! TAKE YOUR FRIENDS! YOU ALL SUCK!**_" the squid threw all the Smashers he held toward the beach house; their weight and speed of impact completely demolished the place, while Snake and Falco stood watching it happen. The squid then turned and started to dive back into the sea; before his massive figure was hidden by the waves, he rose a tentacle out of the sea and pointed at all of them accusingly. "_**I'LL GET MY REVENGE ONE DAY! NOW PISS OFF!**_" And so the tentacle dove back in, along with its owner.

"We're-a alive!" Luigi, aka, the first victim, cheered; the other Smashers roared in victory. Falco ran down to the beach to join up with Lucario, and Meta Knight and King Dedede headed back down as well.

"I'm glad everyone's okay; hopefully, we won't be seeing that squid ever again." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah, I hope not." Falco then turned to look at Lucario. "This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you, you know." Suddenly, the commotion on the beach stopped as every Smasher glared at Lucario.

"Hold on, this is actually your fault?" Bowser asked; some of the other Smashers were just as baffled, as they never expected that any of this was Lucario's fault.

"I was just playing a game and... just be happy that you're alive." Lucario said, while secretly wishing that they don't go postal on him. To his satisfaction, the Smashers shrugged and went back to celebrating, letting bygones be bygones.

"Wait!" a voice said from a sand dune; Toon Link's head popped out of it. "The beach house is destroyed! What are we going to do about it?"

"We could just crash in the Halber-" King Dedede was suggesting.

"No. I don't want wet, sandy footprints all over my ship." Meta Knight stated.

"WELL, YOU COULD ALL BUILD A GIANT SAND CASTLE." the Ancient Minister suggested. It was meant to be a joke suggestion, but to his shock, the Smashers went over to Toon Link and started sculpting a castle out of the sand he landed in. Then, to everyone else's shock, the minister said, "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM," and went over to help them with the castle.

"...Want to help them build a kicking sandcastle?" a box lying right next to the Normals said.

"...Yes." the Normals all said. So for the rest of the day, the Smashers worked on a giant sandcastle; within a few hours, the castle was actually completed, standing tall and proud over the ruins of the beach house. There, they all partied, danced to music, and played more beach sports; they all wisely decided not to go swimming again. Despite the huge fiasco that had gone on hours before, everyone enjoyed their time at the beach, and were a bit disappointed when they had to leave at sunset. Still though, other than the shitty target practice game and the giant squid attack, it was a fairly great day.

As the sun set across the horizon and the Halberd blasted off, no one saw a motorcycle driving to the shore of the beach. Take a guess on who it is.

...

...What? No. It isn't fucking Geno. Get real.

"Hey! Squiddy!" Wario shouted at the edge of the water. "Get out of there!" The Garlic King waited by the water; the ocean rumbled as the head of the squid emerged from the water.

"_**Who dare disturbs my slee-**_"

"Yeah, yeah. Look buddy, have you met with a bunch of losers called the Smashers?"

The squid was a bit pissed that Wario ignored him, but he was intrigued by what he had to say. "_**...Yes. One of them attacked and woke me up, so I tried to destroy him ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE. ...Except I failed to destroy them and I am now heavily scarred...**_"

"Well, what if I said that I can help you get revenge on those chumps?" Wario offered.

"_**Really?**_"

"Yes... We're all going to get revenge on the Smashers, or my title isn't... THE GARLIC KING! WAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>END OF ARC 10<em>**

* * *

><p><em>Sadly, you guys won't be voting on another arc this time around, but, I hope you'll enjoy the next arc and the last! As I said at the beginning of the chapter, I started a story over on fictionpress, so go check it out if you're interested. Remember to leave reviews and death threats, and I'll see you guys next time on the next thing I write (oh my god I'm writing a lot of stuff aaaahhh).<em>


	32. Somewhere Over the Rainbow Part 1

_Wow, including this story, I am currently working on six stories. Ha... HAHAHAHAHA! Well, first thing on my agenda is to finish up The Normals, so that I could have some breathing room with my other stories (kill me now)..._

* * *

><p><em><strong>ARC 11:<strong> SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW - PART 1_

* * *

><p>Three villains sat around a table - actually, scratch that. Three villains were sitting around a giant tree stump in the middle of a forest in an alternate dimension, with one of the villains sitting within a man-made lake, due to being a giant squid. Yes. That's more accurate. Today, the Garlic King, the Puppit King, and the Squid were making final preparations for their grand, convoluted plan to take down the Smashers.<p>

"...so yeah, that's pretty much it. My plan is genius, is it not?" Wario questioned.

"_YeS... iT's FoOlpRoOf..._" the Puppit King chuckled with rattling wooden teeth.

The squid slammed a tentacle down. "**_What about their giant aircraft?_**"

"The who in the what?" responded Wario.

"**_Their giant aircraft. They could pile into it while we're enacting our plan, escape, fly over us, and utterly annihilate us. Did you not think about that?_**"

"...Umm..."

"**_You seriously forgot that they have that thing? That's fucking incredible._**"

"_We CaN't StArT tHe InVaSiOn WiTh SoMeThInG tHaT pRoBlEmAtIc In ThE wAy._"

"Fine, fine. Don't worry. The Garlic King's got this. I will sabotage that stupid face ship, and then we will start our amazing scheme! WAHAHAHA! Come on, laugh with me! WAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"_HaAhAaHaAhAaHaAhAaHaA_!"

"**_Fuck no._**"

* * *

><p>It was an average day at Smash Castle and... blah blah blah. Look, we all know how these things go: everything's fine in Smash Castle, or something along those lines, and then some crazy stuff happens and the Normals have to deal with it. It's a fact of life. In fact, it's a path of my life since I have to write a chapter of their chronicles once every one or two weeks.<p>

"Will you get back to the story, please?" Lucario asked.

Alright, fine. Can't I have my fourth wall breakage fun? Anyway, the Normals were all sitting in Dedede's room, playing on the Wii U (which he most definitely did not steal). They were running through New Super Mario Bros U together, having a funtime and enjoying each others company. You readers can also probably guess that this good time will be ruined. Well guess what? You're absolutely correct!

Falco's character (Blue Toad) suddenly froze in midair right over a gap and he fell to his death. "What the hell?" He looked at his Wii Remote. "Ack, this thing is out of batteries!"

"Our remotes are all dying, actually." Lucario added as Yellow Toad stopped running and let a Koopa kill him.

"I told you guys that we should have replaced the batteries earlier." Meta Knight sighed. He decided to just put Luigi into a bubble rather than leave him at the mercy of the game's perils.

Dedede paused the game before his character could die in an unfortunate 'lack of batter charge related' incident. "I'll go see if I sto- I mean bought any batteries." The king left the other three Normals to rummage through his things; he came back empty-handed. "Sorry. I don't have any."

"Maybe we could ask the other Smashers." Meta Knight suggested hopefully. The Normals left the room to chastise the other Smashers, to see if they had any batteries. Unfortunately, their search came up fruitless; most Smashers did not have any batteries on them. The ones that did didn't want to hand their precious power over to them. Finally, they turned to one last person for help...

"SORRY, WE DO NOT HAVE ANY BATTERIES IN STORAGE." the Ancient Minister told them.

"You've got to be kidding me." Dedede said, smacking himself in the face.

"Are there seriously no batteries in the castle?" Lucario asked, completely dumbfounded.

"UNFORTUNATELY. WE USED THE WHOLE SUPPLY FOR THAT ELECTRIC CAR RACING THING LAST WEEK."

"Of course, it has to be the stupid asinine thing that happened offscreen." muttered Falco.

"WELL, YOU FOUR ARE WELCOME TO GO BUY YOUR OWN BATTERIES. IN FACT, GO GET THOSE CHARGEABLE ONES. THAT WOULD BE NICE." the Ancient Minister mused. With that, the Normals left his office and started to head for the castle's hangar.

"I truly wish that this won't be another 'shopping incident'." Meta Knight said while they walked there.

"We don't have the credit card though. What reason would anyone have to mess with us?" stated Lucario.

"Yeah, that's something, I guess." Falco huffed. They entered the hangar, in all of its aircraft storing glory. "Whose ship are we taking?"

"Certainly not yours." Dedede said.

"What. Are you saying that my Arwing is a piece of junk?" Falco aggressively grabbed Dedede by the neck.

"N-No! It's just that we can't take it!" Dedede babbled.

"Why not?"

"Falco!" Meta Knight shouted, pointing at Falco's Arwing; its jets were on, and it was slowly moving out of the hangar.

Falco dropped Dedede and started running after his ship. "Hey you! Get the hell out of my Arwing!" He made a lunge for one of the Arwing's wings, but he missed and tumbled to the floor. When he recovered, his ship was already jetting out into the open air. The avian started punching the floor in utter disdain. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Who could have stolen your ship? Lucario wondered.

"Doesn't matter." Fox growled. "Meta Knight, we're taking the Halberd. We're hunting the guy down."

"What? Are you sure about this, Falco?" Meta Knight questioned.

"Does this look unsure to you?" Falco said, giving Meta Knight a glare. "That jerkass stole my Arwing, and there will be hell to pay."

"...Then by all means. Let's hurry into the Halberd." the knight said with a nod.

Falco wore a grateful smile on his face. "Thanks! Now let's hurry, before that asshole gets any far!" He was already running up the ramp into the giant ship. Lucario and Dedede looked at Meta Knight, wondering his motive.

"Why did you accept that?" asked Lucario.

"When you two get your own aircrafts, you'll gain a sense of attachment for them. I understand Falco completely. Now come on, let's make sure he doesn't do anything rash and start firing the Halberd's cannons at his own ship." Meta Knight calmly shuffled toward his ship, Lucario and King Dedede following behind him; they were going to help Falco find his ship, no matter what.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>Gasp! Who could have stolen Falco's ship? It's probably Wario or one of his lackies. Come on, this shouldn't even be a spoiler, it's so obvious. How does this factor in the Garlic King's plans, though? Well, let's find out in the next chapter!<em>


	33. Somewhere Over the Rainbow Part 2

_**Author's Note:** Aaah, some professional-ish guy's been looking at some of the dumb things I write recently. Wow, I like his advice._

_Also, for those worrying about the paradox where Falco strangled himself in the last chapter, it's been taken care of._

* * *

><p><em>SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>The Halberd sailed through the clouds: all cannons were prepped, all systems were ready, and Falco was ready to tear the jerk who stole his Arwing to shreds. He was hunched over a computer screen with Meta Knight, who was trying to track the absconded aircraft.<p>

"...is that it?" Falco asked, pointing at the screen.

"No, I think that might be a commercial aircraft." Meta Knight replied.

"Damn it, where's my ship...?"

As they pondered over this, King Dedede and Lucario were sitting at a table, watching them work while drinking from cans of soda. Dedede shook his head. "I'll never understand aircraft pilots."

"Agreed." Lucario said. He took a swig of the drink before mentioning, "Didn't you have a blimp once?"

"Kabula? Oh, she blew up."

"She?"

"It was sentient."

"Oh." Lucario wasn't really surprised by this revelation. After a minute more of monotony and high tensions, Falco suddenly shrieked in anger.

"There it is!" He stabbed the computer screen with his finger. "There's my ship!"

"It's heading... toward... us?" Meta Knight said. The ship then rumbled, as loud shots sounded; the Halberd was shooting at the Arwing. Meta Knight quickly ran over to the Halberd's main control panel and looked at one of the screens; Falco's Arwing was circling around the Halberd, dodging all of the Halberd's cannon shots.

Falco yelped as one shot almost hit his Arwing. "Turn off the cannons! Before it harms my precious baby!"

"You were the one that said to turn the cannons on..." Lucario mentioned.

"...Precious baby?" Dedede said, trying to keep himself from laughing.

Falco shot a glare at them that was so angry, it forced them to immediately get to work on that. As buttons and levers were deactivated, the cannons stopped firing. Falco's Arwing was safe... but as soon as it turned around, it was clear that the Halberd is that one that isn't safe. Beeping noises filled the control room as Meta Knight frantically glanced over everything. "It's shooting at the control tower!"

"Wait..." Lucario's eyes widened. "We're in the control tower, aren't we?" That was answered when the glass in the control room broke apart as lasers came in and set fire to everything. "...Well."

"Dedede, go get the fire extinguishers!" Meta Knight commanded, while stomping on his flaming cape.

"Why don't you have sprinklers?" Dedede asked, staying put in his chair.

The knight glared at him. "Do you really want to start an argument now?" The king gulped and left his chair to look for the fire extinguishers.

Meanwhile, Falco's coat had been set ablaze by the laser assault. "AAAARGH! LUCARIO! CAN YOU SEE WHO THAT ASSHOLE IS!_ AAAARRRGH!_" Falco screamed.

"Good idea. Let's see..." His eyes followed the Arwing, which was now turning away from the Halberd and dashing through the clouds. He looked into the interior and he saw... "...WARIO?"

The mere mention of his name flipped a trigger within everybody else. "Wario?" the other Normals said in disbelief.

"...Where'd he learn to fly?" Dedede questioned.

"I don't know, but if I see a dent on my sweetie, there will be hell to pay." the Arwing's pilot said with a clenched fist.

"Oh, so it's sweetie now..."

"_DON'T YOU HAVE FIRES TO BE PUTTING OUT?_"

"Oh yeah." Dedede turned and saw that the entire other half of the control room was on fire, so he thought it was a good idea to get to extinguishing them.

Meta Knight meanwhile was fiddling at the controls again. "Come here, I'm trying to contact Wario..." Falco and Lucario crowded over to him. "...You don't have to be standing this close."

Falco ignored him. "Hurry up and call him so we can give him a piece of our mind!"

Meta Knight nodded, pressed several more keyboard keys, and video chat opened up on a computer screen. The browser took a few seconds loading up before Wario's mug appeared on it.

Wario made a mighty laugh, showing off his horrible teeth. "Wahaha! It is I, the Garlic Ki-"

"We know who you are." Lucario said plainly. "Also, you really should brush your teeth."

"How dare you tell the king what to do? When the Garlic King comes to power once again, you chumps will all pay!"

Meta Knight sighed. "Wario, you're not likely to take over the Smash Castle again."

"Yes I will!" He snapped. "I have this genius plan! It is so genius, that I can't believe that I actually made it... but I'm a genius! So ignore that metaphor! ...Or simile. Whatever. Who cares abo-"

"_WHAT THE HELL MAN?_" Falco, who had been bottling up his rage while listening to this asinine discussion, finally exploded. "_WHY DID YOU STEAL MY SHIP? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS MESSING WITH US? **WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN ASSHOLE?**_"

"...Because I'm awesome and you're not!"

_"I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!_"

"Wahaha! Foolish fool! You cannot catch the Garlic Ki- DOOF!" Wario was seen flipping over in the cockpit of the Arwing. "Um... it looks like I crashed into so- WAAARGH!" He flipped over yet again as the aircraft was clearly seen bumping into something.

"What are you crashing into? Are there any scratches on that thing? _You better have not hurt my baby!_" Falco yelled.

"Um..." Dedede (who was very singed) stammered.

Falco spun to glare at him. "Stop questioning my pet names!"

"It's not that. You guys should, er, really look out the window." Dedede said nervously.

The others acted on his advice and chose to ignore Lord Asshole's bumbling antics to look out the broken window: they were in a green valley, with sunny, somewhat cloudy skies with rainbows hanging overhead. There wasn't just rainbows hanging, however; there were many platforms floating in mid-air, which was what Wario was crashing into. "We... we wandered into Rainbow Ride!" Meta Knight said in awe.

"How... how did that even happen?" Lucario questioned.

"We were too busy with the fire and Wario that we didn't even notic-"

"No, really, how did we get here? I thought in Hyper's headcanon, the Super Smash Brothers universe is entirely separate from the Mario universe and that we all exist in this Nintendo dimension. The only way to travel between these universes are through plot holes, which just exist in space, Subspace, which no one knows how to get to, and teleporters, and we didn't exactly teleport. Therefore, the fact that we're in this situation is fundamentally impossible." Lucario elaborated.

...Um...

"Oh yeah!" Dedede exclaimed. "Also, how could there we a Wal-Mart here? And commercial airliners?"

...It's a leap year.

"Jeez, you're really slipping."

...Oh hey look, that cabinet set on fire. OH NO IT TURNED INTO A GEYSER OF FLAMES AND THE ROOM IS ON FIRE YET AGAIN.

"OH GOD WHYYYYYYY!" Dedede screamed as his robes caught ablaze.

"Guys, can we ignore Hyper's problems with continuity?" Falco said in annoyance. "That asshole," he pointed out the window at his Arwing, which was flying aimlessly through the maze of platforms. "...has no idea how to fly, and he's in the equivalent of a fucking asteroid belt. If I don't get my Arwing back, he'll probably destroy it with himself in it!"

"...Isn't him destroying himself a good thing?" Dedede asked while he was putting the fires out again.

"Not if he's in my Arwing."

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> As you can clearly see, I just handwaved how they got to Rainbow Ride and made fun about it. *PRO-WRITING SKILLS*_


	34. Somewhere Over the Rainbow Part 3

_**Author's Note:** I've got to really buckle down here, especially since I keep stARTING MORE AND MORE STORIES. Finishing this story, Diary of a Psychopath, and the first part of the Trapped Series is definitely a priority. Only then will I have the ability to focus a little bit more on other things._

* * *

><p><em>SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>Wario flew the Arwing through the maze of assorted platforms - it was evident that he had no idea what he was doing, considering that he was crashing it into literally everything. Falco just stood and watched, chewing on his fingernails in horror. "No... that idiot is ruining the paint job... not the paint job..."<p>

"Oh, look at that platform swinging down!" Dedede pointed at a swinging platform, which swung onto the Arwing and whacked it against its side like it was a golf ball. "Oooh, that's gunna hurt."

"Dedede, what about the fire?" Lucario questioned, trying to squelch out the flames that had consumed half of the control room with a fire extinguisher.

"Eh. It will be fine."

"No it won't." Meta Knight stated, shooting Dedede a glare, which terrified the guy into helping Lucario.

"Your ship won't be as bad as my precious Arwing..." Falco said with an uncharacteristic whimper. "That platform made a dent in the hull..."

"...If it makes you feel any better, the platforms are grinding into the Halberd, which is leaving skid marks." the other pilot mentioned.

Falco looked at Meta Knight, a dead serious look in his eyes. "No, Meta Knight. That does not make me feel better at all."

For once, Meta Knight found himself smaller (figuratively speaking) to the avian. "...Right. But still, these flying platforms are quite dangerous." He went up to the controls of the Halberd and forced it to turn. The giant ship lurched as it spun, scraping against every stationary platform that was in the sky near it.

Falco grabbed the wheel. "What are you doing? We need to get Wario out of my Arwing!"

"I'm afraid it might be a lost cause. Wario is already sustaining a lot of damage in that thing; plus, if we continue flying ahead, these platforms might damage vital parts of the Halberd. So, please, let go."

"No! We're turning this damn thing around!"

"No!"

"Let me turn this!"

"Let go of the wheel!"

"Will you two stop arguing?" Lucario said from the other side of the room, having just finished up getting rid of the flames. "Honestly, you two are acting like children."

"He started it." Falco and Meta Knight said simultaneously. They shot each other a look.

Meta Knight sighed. "This is ridiculous, I am acting like a child. ...But still, let go of the wheel."

"Never!"

"Shut up!" the Pokémon yelled. "Can't anyone here get along with anybody? I mean, seriously, I'm the only one in this group that doesn't have a dysfunctional relationship with somebody else!"

"He's got a point." Dedede said from the floor, exhausted from all this hard work (well for him anyway).

"Stay out of this." Falco growled.

"Hey, Falco. Calm down. You don't even need the Halberd anyway; since Rainbow Ride is like, a platforming place, you could just jump your way to the Arwing."

A few seconds after the king had said that, everyone realized that this was indeed a great and reasonable idea. The four of them stayed silent, waiting to see what happened next - particularly, all eyes were on Falco, who was reeling from this revelation. Finally, Falco decided to make his move - he jumped out the broken window of the control tower. He landed on a lower balcony gracefully with minimal bone breakage. "Oof... alright... here I go..." He jumped lower down the tower and continued to do so until he reached the Halberd's deck. Then, he started running, prepared to platform his way to give Wario a piece of his mind.

"Yeah! Parkour! You can do it!" Dedede cheered from up in the tower, which seemed to have encouraged Falco to run faster.

"You two go help him. I need to bring this thing out of here." Meta Knight asked.

"Excuse me, does it look like I can parkour?"

"...No. You admittedly don't. Lucario, can you help him out?"

"Alright then." Lucario said with a nod. He got off with a running start and jumped out - he landed much more easily than Falco.

As the Pokémon went to run alongside Falco, Meta Knight was trying to contact Wario. After a bunch of telephone-esque rings, Wario appeared on one of the screens, looking a bit shaken. "Waha... what do you losers want?"

"Will you stay put and wait for Falco to come apprehend you? Before you crash into any more obstructions?" Meta Knight requested.

"Eh... no! The Garlic King does what he wants! You cannot tell me what to do!"

"...Look out! You're going to crash into a platform!" Dedede yelled.

"Pfft, as if I would fall for that! Wahaha-" The image shook as Wario promptly crashed into something. "...Alright fine, I'll stop, just to make you crybaby losers happy."

As Wario ducked out of view, Meta Knight whispered to Dedede, "Did you know that was going to happen?"

The penguin's shoulders shrugged.

"Alright fine, here you go." the fat not-king re-appeared on the screen, clutching a disconnected gear shift in his hand. "You losers satisfied?"

"That's... certainly one way to stop a vehicle from moving." commented Meta Knight with a sweatdrop.

* * *

><p>"Hey, it stopped!" Lucario yelled, spotting that the Arwing in the distance had stopped.<p>

"Good. Time to get my Arwing back." Falco said with a clenched fist. The two jumped across platforms and ran across donut blocks (aka those blocks that fall if you stand on it too long) with ease - they tried to ignore the fact that if they messed up, they would fall hundreds of feet to the ground. It seemed easy, but then, they spotted another obstacle...

The two platformers were suddenly shrouded in shadow. "...What's flying above us...?" Lucario questioned. Both of them looked up and immediately regretted it.

It was the giant, pirate ship like Rainbow Ride, aka, the namesake of the whole area. It flew in the same direction as them - straight to a completely stationary Wario. "Crap! How are we going to get to Lord Fatass-"

"I thought it was Lord Assho-"

"Not the point! How can we get there before this boat trashes my ship?"

"...I have one idea. You might not like it though."

"Anything to save my Arwing." the avian said in desperation. The Pokémon nodded then unexpectedly grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Hey, what is this?"

"Think of it this way: it's sort of karma for throttling Dedede earlier. Try to land on your feet."

"You're really not going to-" Then Lucario did exactly what Falco feared: he threw him. Falco flew through the air, at a faster speed than the airship. He soared above the platforms and far down landscape, screaming his head off. Finally, as he neared a platform he could land on, Falco stuck out his feet and made the landing. After having a good laugh about the whole experience like it was a thrill ride, he noticed that the Arwing was a short distance away. After a literal skip and a hop, Falco was banging on the Arwing window. "Open up, you fat piece of-"

"Alright, quit your whining, crybaby." Wario answered. He opened up the cockpit, allowing Falco inside. The tension inside of the aircraft was apparent. Especially when Falco discovered the disconnected gearshift.

"...**_Whyyyyyy...?_**" Falco said with a hiss, shoving it in his face.

"...Eh, you needed a new one anyway." Wario said with complete indifference. While diverting his gaze from the angry bird, he noticed a shadow looming overhead. "...Hey, it's that pirate ship ...I want that pirate ship! It's the only vessel worthy for the Garlic King!"

"You idiot, that's going to ram us! Move your fat arm so I could re-connect this thing!"

"Make me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted a giant unstoppable airship to crush you! Or, would you rather want me to throw you and your sorry ass out of my Arwing?"

"Hey, but I'd fall!"

"_Exactly._"

"...Fine."

As the Rainbow Ride drifted closer and closer, Falco went to work with re-connected the gear shift. Just as it bared down on them, he got it working. With a simple pull of the controls, Falco flew the Arwing out of its path, just when it was about to hit them. Falco looked behind them and laughed with relief. "Phew, that was a close one."

"You said it! ...Now get out of the Garlic King's sweet ride."

Falco wordlessly pressed the 'eject' button, opening up the cockpit and rocketing Wario out. The rude man stayed seatbelted to his chair as it produced a parachute, slowly floating him to the ground. However, there was something a bit off: Wario was not cursing him, like any standard villain. Instead, the guy was laughing his butt off. Falco just thought that he was being weird (as usual). "Weirdo."

Before returning to the Halberd, Falco remembered to pick Lucario up on the way. The Pokémon gratefully stepped inside, since it would have been tedious to parkour his way back to the airship. The Pokémon sniffed around when he got inside. "It smells like garlic in here."

"...Oh my god, don't tell me that jerk ate in here too." Falco growled. "If he wiped his grubby fingers all over my seats..."

* * *

><p>King Dedede and Meta Knight watched the Arwing start to fly toward them, their friends' victory apparent. "It seems that they took care of the problem. Although, ejecting Wario out was a bit much."<p>

"Eh. He's got a parachute. Also he totally deserves it." Dedede said.

"Fair point."

"Right, I guess this means that you can turn off your autopilot now."

Meta Knight just stared at him. "The what?"

"You know? The puppet thing you put in charge of your computers? See, he's over there." Dedede pointed at a Puppit, who was tapping away at the computer console. "Looks a little creepy, though."

"...Dedede, I didn't... that's... why didn't you tell me this before?" Meta Knight questioned. He brandished his sword and pointed it at the Puppit. "You! What are you doing to my computer?"

The Puppit noticed him and cackled. "_HeHeHeHe, WoUlDn'T yOu LiKe To KnOw_?" Before he could be further interrogated, he flew past them and out the window, laughing.

"...I'm guessing he's not your auto-pilot then." Dedede said as he watched the wooden thing fly away.

Meta Knight was checking over the computer. "Hmm, it seems that he hadn't changed any of the files... but what did he do?"

"Something terrible probably." Dedede said with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Wario's more clever than we give him credit for." Meta Knight elaborated. "It seems that he pulled off this whole heist just so he could get to the Halberd's computer in the middle of all this excitement... what exactly was done, though?"

"Oooh, mystery cliffhanger!" Dedede said.

"Hold on, are you really ending this on a cliffhanger, Hyper?"

Yup! The next arc is the last arc! What horrible thing will you and the other Normals go through in your last act? Find out soon!

"Wait, are you saying that Wario's going to be involved in all th-"

* * *

><p><strong><em>END OF ARC 11<em>**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The end is soon, friends! Until then, let's have a poll: "Which villain in The Normals did you like the most?" All of you are allowed three votes, and it'll probably take a minute or so to place them, so it's not a big waste of time! I will also be holding polls after each chapter, as a fun little diversion as this series draws to an end. The current poll ends on the 1st of March, or, when the next chapter releases (the 1st of March being a tentative date). See you guys then!_


	35. The Garlic King Strikes Back Part 1

_**Author's Note:** The end is here, my friends! This story might end this month, or maybe the first week of the next one. Regardless, I hope you all keep reading until the end!_

_Now, for the results of the poll (plays dramatic tune on harmonica)! Who is the best villain? Well, it certainly isn't Bowser, who's sitting in 7th place, which is dead last. Sorry guy. In 6th place is Falco; congratulations, you're not much of a villain, Falco! Sharing 5th place is the Wal-Mart Trio (Mario, Samus, and Snake) and the giant squid, so good for them (kinda)! Also sharing a spot in 4th place is the Ancient Minister and Lucas._

_And now, I'm going to save the top three for last because it'd be dramatic. Now, get to reading, and I hope you enjoy the last story arc!_

* * *

><p>It was a time of peace in the Nintendo dimension. There were no wars. There were no kidnappings. Fighting was at an all time minimum. Things were calm in Smash Castle. The Pokemon legendaries were appeased. Birds flew peacefully. Fish swam carefree. Toon Link was still getting punched, but he's the resident butt monkey, so it's all good. Everybody was happy, content with this calm.<p>

Then, there's this asshole.

_**FINAL ARC:** THE GARLIC KING STRIKES BACK - PART 1_

Dialga, Palkia, and Cresselia were gathered around a small table at the top of Spear Pillar - Cresselia had arranged a nice little tea party, thus, they were sitting together, drinking tea.

"It truly is peaceful today, yes?" Cresselia stated, taking a long sip of tea.

"Yes. It's quite surprising that Palkia and I haven't fought in the past few days, which is good for the space-time continuum." Dialga answered with a nod.

Even Palkia nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I guess it's nice to sit around and-"

"Wah!"

Palkia flipped the tea table and grabbed it by its legs to use as a weapon. "_Who dares disturb our tea time?_" He looked down to see who came to bother them. "Oh. Just a fat idiot."

Wario had taken the time to venture out to Spear Pillar; how exactly he accomplished that, nobody knew. The guy was decked out in his usual biker gear - however, he had a cape tied around his neck and a golden crown on his head. "Hey, I'm no fat idiot, I'm the Garlic King!"

"Strange. I never knew that garlic had a hierarchy." Cresselia said, with a tilt of the head.

"Can I destroy this clown?" Palkia growled.

"Patience." Dialga hushed. "Er, Mr. Garlic King, why are you here?"

"I'm here to deliver this contract." Wario pulled out a scroll and rolled it out: the scroll was written in Wario's terrible handwriting, with crayon no less.

"Contract?" The time Pokémon leaned down and snapped it from his hands with his mouth. Dialga read the contract throughly, ignoring the horrible penmanship. "Hmm... yes... interesting..."

"What is it?" The small legendary asked.

"It's a treaty. It states that the next time the Smashers annoy us, instead of attempting to annihilate them, we trap them in a space-time bubble - they'll remain stuck there until we feel that they feel bad enough for whatever they've done to invoke our wrath. It seems like a fair treaty."

"Can't we just destroy them if they piss us off again?" Palkia groaned.

"No. Now help me sign - oh drat, it seems that I don't have opposable thumbs."

"I'll sign it for all of us!" Cresselia chirped, bringing out a pen.

Wario could only smile evilly as they fell into his plan, hook-line-and-sinker.

* * *

><p>"Oh boy! I got a message on tumblr!" Lucas said, while sitting in front of a computer. "I wonder what it says..." He clicked through to check his inbox...<p>

_'deer Lucas, you r a complete loserrr and w8ste of space, lol. haha go kry u dorky pansy. from, dialga, polkia, and kresselia.'_

Lucas stared at the message, obviously upset - like the people that didn't actually send it, he failed to notice the errors, for he was too depressed to realize it.

He immediately smashed the computer screen with his twig and stormed out.

* * *

><p>If anybody was outside, they would have seen a giant squid in the air, getting carried by a whole legion of Puppits, who struggled to bring him to his location. The squid glanced at the Puppit King, who floated beside him. "<strong><em>Are you sure that this is the only thing I have to do?<em>**"

"_PoSiTiVe._" the Puppit King confirmed with clattering teeth.

"**_Oh yes. This should be easy then._**" The Puppits arrived to their destination: above a giant lake. They let go of the squid and the giant creature splashed into the lake, scaring the fish population inside of it. "**_Come to me, my little morsels... you're only a precursor to our true motives..."_**

* * *

><p>The Normals were gathered in King Dedede's room once again, ready to get back to what they were doing before Wario stole Falco's Arwing. "Okay guys, let's get back to playing New Super Mario Bros U!" Dedede shouted.<p>

"...Oh crap!" Falco yelled suddenly.

"What?" Meta Knight asked.

"_We forgot to get the batteries yesterday._"

"...We had one job. Just one." Lucario sighed.

"I'll go." Meta Knight got up and left to go to the castle's hangar.

* * *

><p>Wario and the Puppit King watched Smash Castle from the distance. They heard the giant squid doing his job at the lake - everything was going according to plan.<p>

"_HmM... i'Ve HaD mY dOuBtS, bUt NoW, i TrUlY bElIeVe ThAt ThIs PlAn WiLl WoRk._" the Puppit King whispered creepily.

"Yes... the Garlic King will succeed! We will smash those losers to the ground!" Wario stood up and laughed evilly. "Wahaha! I am so great!"

The Puppit King dragged his fellow king (?) down. "_KeEp YoUr HeAd DoWn, YoU iDiOt. WaIt FoR oUr FoRcEs To ArRiVe."_

* * *

><p>"Sir! Sir!" As always, a dispensable Primid hurried into the Ancient Minister's office, gasping for air.<p>

The Ancient Minister didn't even look at him, being so used to this by now. "IS IT A NORMAL PROBLEM, OR A WARIO PROBLEM?"

"N-no, it's something else for once."

"REALLY? ELABORATE."

"There's a commotion from the lake - the one we get some of our fish from - and there's some sort of monster eating up all the fish!"

"WHAT?" the robot leader put his full attention to the Primid. "IS THAT TRUE?"

"Yes! It came out of nowhere and started eating the fish!" the purple creature screamed.

"OH DEAR." he looked at his desk nervously. "THE FRESHWATER FISH POPULATION IN THE LAKE IS UNDER THREAT... IF WE DON'T GET RID OF THIS CREATURE..."

"They'll become endangered!"

"...WE'LL HAVE TO IMPORT ALL OF THE FRESHWATER FISH FOR LUNCH AND DINNER INSTEAD OF CATCHING IT OURSELVES. IT WOULD BE A QUITE A PROBLEM."

"...Are you kidding me."

"NO. THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM. GET OUR TOP SMASHERS: MARIO, LINK, SAMUS, PIKACHU, KIRBY, YOSHI, NESS, DONKEY KONG, JIGGLYPUFF, AND CAPTAIN FALCON. THEY MUST DEAL WITH THIS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE - IT'S A TOP PRIORITY."

"Are... are you really risking a lot of our important Smashers so we could get cheaper food? Don't we have that credit card?"

"YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT'S FASTER TO GET FOOD LOCALLY, AND IT'S MORE FRESHER THAN WAL-MA- WAIT, WHY ARE WE EVEN ARGUING OVER THIS? GET TO IT."

"...Hold on sir, you seem to have picked all the original Smashers except for Luigi."

"YES. NOW GET GOING."

* * *

><p>Meta Knight was fiddling around with the Halberd's computers, eyes narrowed in frustration. He was going to fly the Halberd, but something was very wrong. The computers only showed blank boxes and the controls of the Halberd didn't do a single thing. "How come nothing is working?"<p>

Then it hit him.

He slammed his head on the console. "That Puppit..."

* * *

><p>Lucario left Dedede's room to fetch drinks for what was (hopefully) going to be a gaming session. On his way to the kitchen, he spotted the procession made up of the original Smashers (minus Luigi), heading to the giant door made of doorknobs and out the castle. "What's going on?"<p>

"The Ancient Idiot wants us to do something." Pikachu grumbled to him.

"Hey, it is a very important job!" the Primid said. He paused. "Sort of."

"Am I getting paid in bananas? I want bananas." Donkey Kong asked.

"Oh yeah, are we getting paid in food?" Kirby said, rubbing his stomach. "I hope there's food."

"Yeah! Food would be great!" cheered an equally hungry Yoshi.

Lucario watched them go through the door and disappear. He briefly wondered what this mission was before shaking his head and continuing on. On his way to the kitchen however, Meta Knight came out of the hangar room and ran at him. "Lucario, it turns out that there was a point to the Puppit meddling with my computers yesterday. There might be trouble."

* * *

><p>"What... the..<em>. helllllll!<em>" an angry Palkia roared, making reality ripple around him; they had left for a bit to get some more tea and a new table, and when they came back, they found that Spear Pillar was trashed. Everything was broken (well, more broken than it already was), and there were giant rocks imbedded in the ground.

"It looks like a meteor storm happened. Or maybe a star storm." Cresselia mused.

"It was the Smashers! _They did this!_"

"Now now, let's not jump to conclusions..." Dialga said. "...although, I don't know what other group is capable of this much destruction. Maybe another legendary Pokemon, but I'm not sure that there are any in the nearby vicinity."

"Exactly. Let's blow them up."

"Wait, what about the treaty?"

"Ugh, fine. Let's just lock them up in a bubble like boring people."

"There. That would be a fair response to their transgressions."

"...Isn't it odd how the treaty was brought to us the same day they apparently did this?" Cresselia wondered.

"Yes... how peculiar. Hmm, we should at least lock the Smashers in a bubble for a temporary period while we look into this situation.

"It's not as if they're in danger, right?"

* * *

><p>"...Oh wait." Link said, causing him and the others to pause. "I forgot my pots. I need to throw them at whatever we're dealing with."<p>

"Link, you don't need any damn pots." Samus growled in annoyance. "You've got a sword, arrows, bombs, a boomerang, and god knows what else."

"Lady, I just want to break some pots. I'm just going to back and..." Link walked back toward the castle, but, as he crossed the threshold, he froze in place. Suddenly, he turned around and rejoined the others.

"...Link? Weren't you-a getting your-a throwing pots?" Mario inquired.

"...Huh? I was?" The others gave him funny looks.

"Whatever. Can we just get on with this?" Ness complained.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Falco and Dedede sat in the king's room, waiting for the others to come back. While he waited, Falco was looking around the room impatiently to pass the time (and make sure Dedede hadn't stolen anything else of his). His eyes passed several clocks (no doubt stolen) - that's when he noticed something strange. He pulled Dedede's robe. "Dedede, there's something wrong with your clocks."<p>

"There are?" the king looked around at his clocks and he froze - the clocks had all stopped moving, stuck on the same time. Even the clocks with pendulums had their swinging arms frozen in place. "Oh."

Falco knew what all this meant: trouble. "Well crap."

The doors to the room opened and were quickly shut closed; Meta Knight and Lucario were back, and they looked worried. "There's something going on." The knight huffed.

"Yeah. Apparently, that Puppit from yesterday seems to have sabotaged the computer to make the ship not work the next time we start it up; all the first Smashers are also leaving to do something." Lucario explained.

"Really? That's not all that's wrong. Look!" Dedede pointed at his stolen clocks. "The clocks all stopped working!"

The Normals looked tense as the disasters were piling up; it seemed that things were about to get worse. "We need to get out of here. Now." the Pokémon said.

"If we really are in trouble though, walking out the front gate won't exactly be a good idea." Falco said. "For all we know, the castle might be surrounded."

"Then how will we leave?" Meta Knight asked.

"Well..." Dedede coughed. He knelt to the floor, grabbed a rug, and snapped it up - there was a trapdoor right under it.

"...How long was... that there?" a baffled Lucario asked.

"I got this bad boy built after the whole Wario thing. You know, for a secret escape route." Dedede said proudly. "It's really good for running around the castle, actually."

"Wait... that's how you sneak around the castle, isn't it?" the Arwing pilot asked.

"..Maybe."

"Well, let's go in then. Speaking of Wario... do you think that he's behind this?" Meta Knight asked the others.

"Yes." the other three said without hesitation.

"...Right then, let's get going." Lucario coughed. He opened the trapdoor, revealing a ladder. He went down, followed by Meta Knight, then Falco and lastly, Dedede - he pulled the rug over the hidden passage before closing the door, making sure that nobody can find them.

* * *

><p>The door to the Ancient Minister's office roared as people started beating on it. The Ancient Minister regarded the situation with curiosity before he opened it. There was a whole crowd of concerned and pissy Smashers outside of his office. "WHAT'S THE PROBLEM TODAY?"<p>

"All of the damn clocks stopped working!" Wolf yelled.

"THE CLOCKS STOPPED WORKING?"

"Yes, we've all got like, stuff to do - how am I supposed to attend my hair stylist appointment if I have no idea about, like, what time it is?" Marth elaborated.

The robot looked over them. "DO YOU ALL REALLY HAVE APPOINTMENTS?"

"Yeah. You know nothing about our lives, man." Bowser scoffed.

The Ancient Minister floated back into his office to look at his clocks: the hands of his wall clock wasn't working, and his digital clock didn't seem to be working. "I SEE WHY YOU'RE ALL CONCERNED. HOWEVER, I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED, AND HOW TO FIX IT."

"Who could be responsible for this?" Peach cried out over everybody (Lucas innocently whistled, while thinking about the consequences of his vengeance).

"Oh, I know who it was." a voice in the back said. The Smashers turned to see who said that, and they gasped in unison, realizing how fucked they were. It was Wario. "It was me, the Garlic King!"

There was a stark silence in the room. Finally, Ganondorf said, "KILL HIM!"

"Wahaha, oh no you don't!" he snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, the windows in the hallway shattered open as things from outside broke in: Puppits. The Smashers screamed in fear because it was so unexpected and, of course, Puppits are creepy as hell. The Ancient Minister tried to keep his cool. "Wario, what is the meaning of this?"

"It is the Garlic King!" the fat villain snapped. "I'm here to claim what belongs to the Garlic King - ownership of the castle! You shall kneel before me - and my partners - but mostly me! Wahahaha!"

Down below, in the tunnels that Dedede had built, the penguin looked up in worry. "Yep, something is definitely happening."

"You think?" Falco rebutted.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To be continued...<em>**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I hope that was enjoyable for you all. Now, for the moment some of you are probably waiting for, the top three villains! In 3rd place, we have the Puppits and their king - well deserved spot, I would say. In 2nd place, we've got the Spear Pillar Trio, aka, Dialga, Palkia, and Cresselia; they might take insult to being called villains, but they might be angrier at the person who took the number one spot from them! In first place is..._

**_The Garlic King!_**

_I'm pretty sure that some of you were expecting it (especially if you've been watching the poll for the past while - which sort of undermines the whole announcement thing, when you think about it), but whatever, all hail the Garlic King/Lord Asshole! He truly is the greatest and jerkiest villain in all the land!_

_Now then, for the new poll: would you be a Normal? You only get one vote, so make it count!_

_Will the Normals fight back? Will the Garlic King win? Will the squid eat all the fish? Find out, in the next chapter of The Normals!_


	36. The Garlic King Strikes Back Part 2

_**Author's Note:** It's been a long week since the last chapter, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the rest of the final arc! Now, for the poll results: "Yes, because it'd be cool to hang out with Meta Knight and Lucario and Dedede and Falco and stuff!" won with 11 votes, and "Yes, because the weird adventures they have sounds fun!" is in second with a measly 3 votes. Everything else got no votes at all - it's nice that you all want to be Normals._

_Also, thank you fanfiction, for letting me put all the Normals down as characters. Go, four character slots!_

* * *

><p><em>THE GARLIC KING STRIKES BACK - PART 2<em>

* * *

><p>The tunnels were cramped, but well-lit. Platforms connected to the pathways that ascended, and there were maps posted on walls around the place, telling where they led.<p>

"You... really were prepared." Meta Knight said in complete awe.

"This place really is amazing." Lucario said' he saw the scale of the tunnels with his vision powers and was astonished.

"How did you build this place?" Falco asked Dedede.

"I just ordered my Waddle Dees to do it." the king said, hands at hips, beaming proudly.

"Figures."

Lucario continued to scan the intricate caves until he looked up. A look of distress quickly took his face. "...Welp."

"What is it? Is it Wario? It probably is, isn't it?"

The Pokémon looked away and whistled anxiously. "Doesn't matter. Let's just find the exit."

"Right." Meta Knight agreed. "Which way do we go, Dedede?"

"This way - follow me!" Dedede ran down one of the paths, with the others following him; he remembered these tunnels off the back of his head. Being a thief truly pays, such is the life of an anti-hero. As the penguin monarch led them, Lucario kept glancing up nervously. Although, as long as they got out, there would be nothing to worry about.

Of course, if they were able to get out, this would be a boring final arc, wouldn't it? Just imagine: The Garlic King and the Puppits take over Smash Castle, the seven Smashers that were sent out to deal with the squid distraction would come back and discover a smoking crater where the castle once was, and the Normals would run away. They'd run all the way to the other side of wherever the hell they were to the floating stadium, where they end up setting a souvenir shop; maybe they'll sell bobbleheads, or commemorative t-shirts saying, "Our castle got trashed and we chickened out." That would be the life, wouldn't it?

But no, that's stupid.

The Normals stopped at the mouth of a corridor that led to a bright light. King Dedede gesticulated at the exit, for dramatic emphasis. "Here's the end of the road. Now, let's get out of here!" He rushed to the light; before anyone else could, they witnessed Dedede disappearing in the light. Suddenly, they heard footsteps behind them. Meta Knight and Falco brandished their weapons and Lucario charged an aura ball, ready for a fight; they immediately dropped it when they saw that King Dedede was behind them. He gave them a baffled look and spun around before asking, "How did you guys get in front of me?"

"I believe you're mistaken. You appeared behind us." the knight answered, equally befuddled.

"But... I walked in a straight line. Seriously, how did you guys get ahead?"

"We stayed right here."

"Are you sure?"

"...What." Falco said, just as confused as everybody else.

"Oh... oh dear." Lucario said, looking ahead at the light, more fearful than he was before.

"What is it?" Meta Knight asked.

"I can't see anything beyond the end of the hallway." Lucario said plainly.

The others were quiet. Dedede asked from the silence, "...Are your eyes working?"

"Yes, my eyes are working. In fact..." the Pokémon jerked his head around. "...I don't see anything beyond the castle. It's just an empty void from there."

"...Maybe you have cataracts..."

"My eyes are perfectly fine, Dedede. The real problem, however, is that the castle is somewhere else entirely."

They all stood there, taking in what Lucario said. Then, to test this out, Meta Knight sprinted down the corridor; to no one's surprise, he ended up right behind the others. He sighed. "First time froze, but now this...?"

"I'm going to punch whoever's doing this in the throat." the angry bird pilot said, clenching his fists.

* * *

><p>"...Hmm... How odd, I feel as if somebody wants to punch me in the throat." Dialga said.<p>

"Oh calm down, Dialga, you're just imagining things." Cresselia said, fingers moving across a keyboard; she and Dialga was trying to look up information on the Garlic King. "Okay... according to Google, the Garlic King is a somewhat average restaurant. Maybe that fellow was the owner of that place."

"That might be a coincidence. Try adding 'Smasher'."

"Okay." She tapped the keyboard a few more times. "Alright, this pointed me to a fanfic called 'The Normals'. Apparently, it's a story revolving around the 'Normal' Smashers. I think it sounds neat."

"Interesting. Maybe we should try reading it from the beginning."

While the two started to read, Palkia was cleaning up the place, using his powers of space to simply will the rubble out of existence. While trying to get rid of a piece of rock, he ended up wishing an entire pillar away. "Aargh! Damn it!" he roared angrily. "_I will punch the weakling who did this in the throat and blow him up!_"

* * *

><p>Lucas sweated - not because of the Puppits, but because he felt that somebody wanted to punch him in the throat and blow him up. The Smashers huddled together, glaring at the Puppits that surrounded them. Wario and the Puppit King looked at them, a triumphant look in their eyes.<p>

"WE WILL NEVER BOW DOWN TO YOU, YOU KNOW." the Ancient Minister said.

"_Oh, YoU wIlL._" the Puppit King rasped.

"...Why would you team up with that thing?" Sonic asked Wario, referring to the Puppit King.

"Hey, he's fellow royalty that hates you just as much as I do!" Wario said. "I'm actually hoping that we could hang out. Play on solid gold tennis courts maybe, because that's how kings like the Garlic King rolls!"

"You aren't a real king!" screamed most of the Smashers.

"Whatever, losers."

"Don't call us losers! Only 2/3rds of us are losers - not including me! We can kick your fatass out of here!" Bowser roared.

"_I dOuBt ThAt. ThAnKs To A dIsTrAcTiOn We'Ve SeT uP, 1/5 oF yOuR sMaShErS aRe GoNe._"

The Ancient Minister coughed. "...IN HINDSIGHT, SENDING SOME OF MY BEST SMASHERS OUT TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM WASN'T A GOOD IDEA."

* * *

><p>"Damn it Minister, this was the worst idea you've had yet!" Link screamed, while wrapped in a tentacle. The Smashers had arrived at the lake, only to be greeted by the giant squid. He had Link in his crutches, who was trying to hack away at the tentacle with his sword.<p>

"Die already, you freak of nature!" Samus yelled, firing a missile at the squid, who whacked it away with another appendage.

"**_There are less of you fools than there were last time! This time, I shall destroy you all!_**" the giant squid roared.

Pikachu was shooting lightning bolts into the lake, but the squid seemed to withstand the electric shocks. "Damn it, he's monstrous!"

"Ha! Captain Falcon eats monstrous things for breakfast!" Captain Falcon shouted, punching a tentacle that was heading for him and dismembering it from its owner.

"Should I sing a motivational song to help out?" Jigglypuff asked.

"No." the other Smashers said.

"...Hmph. You guys are no fun." The female puffball jumped up to dodge a tentacle and fell asleep on top of it, causing it to explode.

"Who is-a responsible for-a this?" Mario questioned to nobody in particular.

"If I find out, I'm going to make them into a banana sundae!" Donkey Kong screeched.

* * *

><p>"I think somebody wants to make me a banana sundae." Wario said suddenly.<p>

* * *

><p>Back in the tunnels, the Normals were sitting on the floor, scheming on what to do. First things first was to know who was attacking them. "What did you see up there, Lucario?" Meta Knight asked.<p>

"Uh, I saw Wario..."

"I knew it!" Falco shouted.

"...also a whole army of Puppits."

"...Well shit."

"That is worrisome." the knight admitted.

"How did they somehow trap us here, though?" King Dedede inquired.

"...Maybe, somehow, they convinced Dialga and Palkia to help them." suggested Lucario. "I mean, think about it, who else has the power to fool around with the fabric of space and time?"

"That's true... but why would they do that?" Meta Knight said, adding onto the chain of questions.

"Maybe one of us pissed them off." Falco said with a shrug. "Whatever the reason, we're stuck in some timeless void and can't do shit about it."

"...Oh... now I know why they sabotaged the Halberd..." a wide-eyed Meta Knight said. "You know in fiction, when spaceships are capable of using a hyperdrive like device to go into lightspeed or the like, right?" The others nodded. "Well, all the Smasher ships that can fly in space - minus Captain Olimar's due to its condition - can do that. Traveling at lightspeed practically breaks the regular conventions of space-time and would have surpassed this barrier."

"I'm not a space pilot. I don't know what any of that means." the kingly penguin said.

"What he means is that all of us could have piled on Meta Knight's ship and jumped to get out of this place." Falco, the fellow pilot, said. "Those creepy assholes sabotaged it so that no one can escape their puppety clutches."

"Why can't we use your ship then?"

* * *

><p><em>In between the cliffhanger at the end of the last arc and the start of the first one, Falco was flipping his shit in his Arwing. "Aaargh!" Falco screamed. "The controls are sticky - that idiot did eat in here!"<em>

_"Your Arwing is still working though.. right?" Lucario asked rather nervously._

_"Yeah, but some of the damn buttons aren't working. At least it's the unimportant ones though; I don't need to use this dumb lightspeed button when I'm not in space."_

* * *

><p>"..." Falco put his head in his hands and actually cried. "My beautiful ship..."<p>

"...His ship can't do that." Lucario answered for him.

"Also, assuming that they haven't meddled with the other worthy ships, they could only take a handful of people - probably 6, at the most." Meta Knight answered.

The four continued to sit there, full of dread. "To think, this all happened because we wanted batteries." King Dedede said quietly.

* * *

><p>"So, are you chumps ready to surrender to the Garlic King? Really, I'd like that to happen - I don't want you guys wasting my time." said Wario.<p>

"NO. OUR NUMBERS MAY BE DWINDLED, BUT WE CAN STILL FIGHT. CAN'T WE?" the Ancient Minister said, the question directed at his Smashers.

"**_Yeah!_**" the non-Normal Smashers cheered. Some of them actually got to work immediately, launching themselves at the nearest Puppits and beating the shit out of them. This inspired the others to start fighting too. However, the evil kings only laughed, not caring about the Puppits getting defeated by their enemies.

"Fools! While you guys wasted my time with your chumpness, you do not realize that you were also wasting yours! Wahaha!"

"What the hell do you even mean?" a Zelda turned Sheik asked.

"_WhAt He MeAnS iS tHaT aLl ThIs TaLk WaS sImPlY a DiStRaCtIoN. mY mEn HaVe BeEn PlUnGiNg In YoUr ItEm StOrAgE rOoM tO rEtRiEvE... tHiS._" the Puppit King pointed at two Puppits who were carrying in a crate. On his cue, they dropped the box on the floor, releasing its prize...

A Smash Ball.

"**SHIT.**" All of the Smashers said simultaneously.

"Wahaha! I shall become Super King Garlicman, and you will bow to my mighty awesomeness!" Wario pounced toward the Smash Ball, which was floating around aimlessly in the room.

"WARIO, THAT IS A RIDICULOUS NAME. SMASHERS, GET THAT BEFORE HE DOES!"

The Smashers, not looking forward to Wario's Final Smash, made a rush for the Smash Ball. As the ball floated, various fists, weapons, and feet went into the air, trying to break the mystical sphere. The Puppits tackled the Smashers, trying to keep them away from it. Their efforts succeeded; they managed to keep the Smashers from the Smash Ball until Wario broke it. The not-king glowed, laughing evilly. Then, he transformed. The room was filled with a bright light and a bad smell and when the light went away (but sadly not the stench), Warioman stood, wearing the Garlic King crown and cape with his usual superhero ensemble. "You cannot stop me, chumps!"

"Oh yeah? Taste the blade of my elegant sword!" Ike screamed, running at Wario like an idiot with his sword raised. The superhero (supervillain? superanti-hero?) simply punched him; Ike flew across the room and hit the wall, leaving a dent in it.

"...RETREAT! RUN UNTIL HE TURNS BACK TO NORMAL!" the Ancient Minister ordered before Wario jumped up to meet his level...

* * *

><p>The Normals could hear the fighting and the screaming going on from where they were. Most of the screams came from Smashers, so it was clear who was losing.<p>

"...So yeah, let's stay down here forever." Dedede chirped. "I've got food stashed in here, ya know."

"...No." Meta Knight said.

"What?"

"Dedede, we are not going to hide out down here." the valiant knight stated plainly. "We're going to take this threat head-on."

"Yeah." the aura Pokémon stood up, cracking his knuckles. "We can't sit back and let Wario and the Puppits have their way."

"...I agree." the falcon pilot said, much to the surprise of the others. "We're not going to let that jerk take over, are we? Come on Dedede, do you really want Lord Asshole in charge?"

"...You're right, that'd be horrible!" the outraged king stood up with the others. "Count me in."

"Okay. Now that we've agreed on it, we're going to take down the Garlic King. He will never rule over us ever again." Meta Knight said.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Spring Break 2013! I can't wait to stay indoors and write and play video games all day, since I'm a shitty person! So, to tide things over until I write the next chapter, have another poll: what are your top three favorite arcs in The Normals? Should be self-explanatory. However, this arc and the first chapter are exempt from the poll. So, get to voting, and I hope you all have a happy Spring Break!_


	37. The Garlic King Strikes Back Part 3

_**Author's Note:** Haha, is everybody having a great Spring Break? I sure hope so! So, about that poll: in sixth and last place with no votes is 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. Of course, it was the second to last arc, plus there were a lot of other cooler choices. In fifth place, with a single vote, is 'The Great Beach Fiasco of 2012'. No love for the giant squid. Ever. In fourth place, with two votes, is 'The Penguin That Cried UFO'. Sharing third place with three votes each is 'The Murder and Vengeance of Pitoo' and 'The Worst Kidnapping Plot Ever'. Now then, for second place is 'Diplomacy, Ho!' with four votes. Hold the phone... there are five arcs left..._

_Yup, 'Lunchtime Shopping', 'Misadventures in Cooking', 'News Flash', 'Reign of the Garlic King', and 'Beware the Nice Ones' all share the number one spot with five votes each! Wow, equality for all! Except for everybody else._

_Moving on, then..._

* * *

><p><em>THE GARLIC KING STRIKES BACK - PART 3<em>

* * *

><p>The Normals - led by King Dedede - went up a shaft that led up to the castle's ground floor. As they climbed up the platforms that supported their trek up, they were making plans on what to do. "Let's go punch Wario in his dumb face." Falco suggested.<p>

"That is hardly a plan at all, Falco." Meta Knight said bluntly.

"Yeah... but you were thinking it too, right?"

"...Well, I'd technically use my sword..."

"Guys, we're here." King Dedede announced. "Just let me take a quick peek..." He pushed up against the floor tile the passage led up to and stuck his head through the hole he made.

The hallway was full of angry Smashers, who were beating the lights out of their Puppit enemies while screaming death threats. It looked like the Smashers were winning; however, this was all debunked when a motorcycle went down the hallway at speeds that even Sonic would be jealous of. The motorcycle missed Dedede by inches and ended up slamming through most of the fighters in the hallway, sending them careening straight into walls - rather painfully, I might add. Then, its rider - Wario - stood up on his seat and struck a pose. "Wahaha! Nobody escapes from Super King Garlicman!"

"...That's a stupid name..." Ike, the only survivor of the hit-and-run, coughed.

"Silence! You have no taste in super cool names!" Wario looked at the surrounding Puppits. "Take all these wimps!"

"..." King Dedede retreated back into the tunnel. "We're leaving."

"I thought we were going out through here." Meta Knight said.

"NOPE." Dedede snapped. Since arguing would have been a waste of time, the other Normals decided to retreat as well.

As they descended, Lucario continued to talk about battle plans. "Should we try going for Wario?"

"Nope. No. Not a good idea."

"Why no..." The Pokémon looked up. "...Oh. Yeah, never mind then."

"Should I even want to know what the problem is?" Falco asked.

"No."

"Okay then."

When they got to bottom of the shaft, Dedede started to lead them through a different path. "So, what should we do, then?" Meta Knight questioned as they walked.

"We could try gathering weapons." Falco proposed.

That statement practically made a bell ring inside Dedede's head. "Oh! I know where we could get weapons!"

The avian looked giddy. "Did you keep any Beam Claws?"

"Um, no. I was just thinking of going to the item storage room."

"...Yeah... that works too, I guess..."

"Well, going to the item storage room is the only plan we have." Meta Knight stated.

"...It would be nice to have a Beam Claw though..." Lucario admitted.

* * *

><p>"H-hey!" a Primid wielding a super scope screamed at the advancing Puppits. "We used to be on the same side, remember?"<p>

"_We'Re OnLy LoYaL tO oUr KiNg AnD tAbUu._" a Puppit cackled. The Primid shot at them, managing to take down one, but he decided to run away screaming when the others got too close. "_YoU cAn RuN, bUt We'Ll AlWaYs Be In YoUr NiGhTmArEs!_"

The Primids that weren't fighting back or were fleeing were being rounded up by the Puppits to be presented to Wario - who had turned back to normal after beating the crap out of everybody - and their king. "Listen up chumpbiscuits, I want you to create a large feast for the Garlic King!" Wario shouted at them. "Add lots of garlic, or else!"

"Or else what?" a brave Primid asked.

"One of those creeps will give you a hug." the rotund man said, pointing at one of the Puppits.

"_I dOn'T wAnT tO hUg ThEsE tRaItOrS._" the wooden guy hissed.

Despite that though, the threat definitely worked on the Primid. "Nooo! I don't want to be hugged!"

"Good. Then get to the kitchen and create a buffet worthy for a king - which is what I am, wahaha!" The Primids scrambled to get cooking, supervised by the Puppits.

One Puppit was whispering to the king. "_HmMm... YeS, bRiNg ThEm AlL hErE._" As that Puppit left, the Puppit King turned to Wario. "_wE'vE gAtHeReD tHe SmAsHeRs; NoW, wE mUsT dEcIdE tHeIr FaTeS."_

Both of the kings made a deal concerning the Smashers: the Puppit King would choose which Smashers to execute and the Garlic King would decide who deserves to be ruled over (as if that's a good thing). Originally, the Puppit King planned to kill the Smashers by burning them to death, just like last time; however, when the giant squid came into play, they decided, 'hey, let's have the squid kill them'. Everyone wins. Except the Smashers, but who cares.

"Alright, you get to kill a third of these losers, okay?"

"_No. A hAlF._"

"How about we just flip a coin for each of them?"

"_...FaIr EnOuGh."_

Then, the Smashers (minus the Normals), were dragged in, with chains holding their arms (remember, in this world, you can break everything but chains!) together. Of course, everybody was yelling at Wario angrily. "Palutena will smite you for this!" Pit screamed.

"Yeah yeah, the Potato Queen will smash me or something." Wario shrugged off. "Anyway, we've gathered you losers here today to decide who gets to be ruled under the Garlic King!"

"_EvErYbOdY eLsE wIlL fAcE dEaTh By GiAnT sQuId._" the Puppit added.

The clamor quieted down a bit, but the resentment was still present. "What are you going to do if we escape, huh?" Wolf growled.

"Fools! If you dare rise up against the Garlic King again..." Wario pulled out a Smash Ball from out of nowhere, immediately shutting everybody up. "I shall become, Super King Garlicman again!"

"That's still a stupid name!" several people shouted.

"Whatever! Now, to decide Toon Link's fate, I shall flip a coin - note that my face is printed on the coin, wahaha!"

"_GeT oN wItH iT._" the Puppit King rasped. "_i CaLl HeAdS._"

Wario flipped the coin and caught it in his palm - it landed on heads. "Toon Link shall be fed to the giant squid!"

"Yay!" the cartoonish knight cheered. "...I think!"

"_As SoOn As ThE tImEsPaCe BuBbLe ArOuNd ThIs PlAcE iS dOwN, wE wIlL dElIvEr ThE sQuId HeRe._"

"Alright, now it's Zelda's turn..." Wario murmured.

* * *

><p>Speaking of time-space bubbles, its unwitting creators were still in Spear Pillar, cleaning up the mess Lucas made and reading fanfiction.<p>

"...This story is completely asinine and silly. The person writing this truly has no life." Dialga commented. "...I can't take my eyes off of it, though."

"Good, we're almost to the part about the Garlic King!" Cresselia chirped.

"WILL YOU GUYS GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER AND HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS MESS?" Palkia screamed. "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET THAT THING ANYWAY?"

* * *

><p>Also, speaking of the giant squid, said creature was still holding up to the Smashers trying to defeat him.<p>

Captain Falcon grabbed a tentacle that flew at him and took a bite out of it. "Hahahaha, delicious!"

"**_Argh! What the hell is wrong with you?_**" screamed the squid. "**_You know what, it doesn't matter! You're all screwed regardles- OW!_**"

Yoshi and Kirby also took a bite from a tentacle. "Yummy!" They both said.

"**_I don't even taste good, stop eating me!_**"

* * *

><p>Speaking of cooking, our heroes was heading up the passage to the castle's kitchen. "Why are we going to the kitchen?" Meta Knight hissed.<p>

"I'm hungry." Dedede admitted. "But hey, the storage room isn't far from there."

"Just don't slow us down with your food cravings." Falco said.

When they reached the top, Dedede lifted up the panel; the Normals immediately retched when they whiffed the air that drifted down into the shaft. They could recognize the horrible smell. That horrible smell that should just be used in moderation as a delicious compliment to some foods. It was garlic. The penguin king looked up and saw a Primid at a stove looking down at him. "Oh, whoops. Uh, I'll just leav..."

"Help. Us." the Primid whispered. Dedede furrowed his eyebrow before rising up a bit more. Most of the castle's Primids were at working, creating garlic-laden foods. Surrounding them were Puppits, who watched them with their cold eyes.

"Uh... there's a problem up here." Dedede whispered to the others.

"Let me see." Falco grunted. He recklessly climbed over Dedede and shoved his way to the surface. He froze when he saw that every eye - Puppit included - was on him.

"_WhO... wHo ArE yOu?_" one of them said.

"...Er..." Falco's eyes diverted to a cooking knife. He quickly snatched it up. "Oh, whoops. This knife flew in your head." He threw the knife at the Puppit that spoke to him. The wooden creature was downed by the clean hit. "My bad."

Meta Knight, curious about the situation, came up and realized that they've landed themselves in trouble. "Oh dear. I... um... oh no, my sword seems to be moving on its own." He immediately slashed a nearby Puppit in half. "I'm sorry about that."

Lucario clambered up. "Uh..." He grabbed a pot full of grease and threw it at some of the enemies, causing them to burn. "Oh dear! I tripped!"

The Primids watched the situation in amazement. Then, one of them got the inspired confidence to continue this. "Ah! I lost my knife!" He stabbed a Puppit in the face.

"...Oh no, the drawer full of sharp forks are flying through the air!"

"What's this? The oven set you on fire?"

"Watch out, a possessed spoon is flying in your direction!"

Thanks to the display of the Normals, the Primids rose up against their captors, taking them down with ridiculously convenient accidents. The Puppits quickly recovered from the surprise and hissed, launching into battle. However, these guys were up against a bunch of accident-prone Primids and four Smashers, and this time, Super King Garlicman was not around. It was a foregone conclusion that the Puppits end up getting defeated. "Go team!" Dedede cheered, while munching on bread.

"Primids, I have a request for you." Meta Knight announced. "Can you please provide a distraction while we go into the item storage room?"

The Primids all nodded. Gathering knives, pots, stolen beam swords, and spoons, the purple creatures ran out of the kitchen.

The penguin burped. "Okay, I'm stuffed. Now, let's go get some stuff and kick the Garlic King's butt!"

"Lord Asshole." Falco corrected.

"It doesn't matter." Lucario said with a sigh.

* * *

><p>"...Popo, it looks like you get to be ruled by me, the Garlic King!" Wario said, after the latest coin toss.<p>

The blue-clothed Ice Climber frowned. "Can't you kill me instead?"

"No, too bad! Now then..."

"_YoUr MaJeStYs!_" a Puppit flew over the crowd of judged Smashers. _"ThE pRiMiDs EsCaPeD aNd ArE rIsInG bAcK uP aGaInSt Us!_"

"_WhAt..._" the Puppit King hissed. "_HoW dArE tHeY? SeNd AlL oF oUr FoRcEs To DeAl WiTh ThE pRoBlEm._" He then spun toward his fellow 'king', a suspicion on his mind. "_AlL oF tHe SmAsHeRs ArE hErE, cOrReCt?"_

"Uh..." Wario shrugged. "There's definitely more than five of them."

_"...It DoEsN't MaTtEr, I sUpPoSe. NoW, wHo'S nExT iN lInE tO rEcIeVe OuR jUdGeMeNt?"_

* * *

><p>The Normals hid around a hallway corner, watching the huge doors that marked the item storage room (small bits of rubble were still spread on the floor); several Puppits were guarding them. Then, another Puppit appeared to tell them what's happening. Immediately, the crowd of wooden monsters left to deal with the Primid distraction. "It's clear." Meta Knight said.<p>

"Yeah, we can see that." Falco muttered. The four Smashers, after taking a quick look around, immediately ran for the doors. Upon entering, they searched around to make sure that there weren't any Puppits inside; thankfully, it was safe.

However, there was a noticeable change in the room. There was a huge pyramid of crates near the entrance, with a giant sign saying: "**Super King Garlicman's Swag**".

"...Super King Garlicman?" the confused Pokémon said with a tilted head.

"...Swag?" the annoyed pilot said in disgust.

"What could be inside..?" the curious knight said.

"Let's find out." the eager and greedy king said, holding his hammer. Dedede held his hammer above his head and smashed one of the crates.

A Smash Ball came out of it.

They were all shocked by the appearance of the glowing ball. Dedede then broke open another crate.

It was another Smash Ball; all the crates were filled with the Final Smash-enablers.

The Normals looked at each other, sharing a genuine smile.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The next chapter will definitely be the final part of the arc; don't fret however, because there will be one last chapter afterward. All stories have epilogues, right?_

_Now then, for the final poll for this story: Which Normal would you like to be? I expect that most of you would want to be Meta Knight and Lucario, but hey, let's give everyone a fair shot here. You have only one vote, so use it wisely! Also, vote quickly: I plan on writing the last chapters on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. I hope you all enjoy the last chapters of this story._


	38. The Garlic King Strikes Back Part 4

_**Author's Note:** Surprise, you're getting the second-to-last chapter already! For the results of the final poll: Falco is in last place, with only one person wanting to be like him. Too bad for you, Falco. In third is King Dedede, who three people want to be. Slightly better for you, King! Meta Knight holds second place, with five people that want to be him._

_In first place, is Lucario, who has six people wanting to be like him! Who doesn't love this Aura Pokémon?_

_That was a good last poll for this story, but now, let's finish things up!_

* * *

><p><em>THE GARLIC KING STRIKES BACK - PART 4<em>

* * *

><p>King Dedede proceeded to smash every one of the crates, releasing a Smash Ball from each one. The Normals gathered them up and split it up equally among themselves. Falco clenched one of his Smash Balls tightly in his hand. "Lord Asshole will regret ever messing with us."<p>

"Don't go overboard with it though. Wario presumably has his own Smash Balls with him, so use it at the right time." Meta Knight said with caution.

"We should split up to deal with the Puppits and Wario." Lucario suggested.

"I want to run Wario over." Falco said, somewhat optimistic.

"I'll come with you too, to make sure you don't try to overkill." Meta Knight volunteered.

A tense Lucario turned to face Dedede, gulping. "...well, Dedede, looks like we have to fight the Puppits."

"...But... they scare me." the penguin said, equally as fearful.

"...I know they do. I know."

"Hey, you two relax." Falco snapped. "You guys have Smash Balls; you could tear those stupid wooden jerks apart." This reassured the two reluctant Normals.

Meta Knight reopened the doors of the storage room, only to come face to face with at least ten Puppits, who were surprised by his appearance. "_HoW... hOw DiD yOu GeT iN...?"_

Before they started swiping at him with their claws, Meta Knight crushed a Smash Ball in his hands; he felt the energy flow into him naturally, like drinking water. I'm not sure if that's a good comparison, but why not. Meta Knight then threw his cape over the Puppits and said in a deep voice, "Behold my power..."

"_WhAt..._"

"_He'S uSiNg A fInAl SmAsH!"_

_"WeLl CrAp."_

_"KiLl Hi-"_

The Puppits failed to do anything to stop Meta Knight as he slaughtered them with a single swing of his sword. "That takes care of them."

Falco looked at Meta Knight in astonishment before looking down at one of his own Smash Balls. "Well, if it's going to be like that, this will be a cakewalk."

* * *

><p>Dialga and Cresselia looked at the computer screen in utter disgust. "Wow, this Garlic King is a real jerk." Cresselia commented.<p>

"Yes, he does seem like quite a scumbag. In fact... I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually the one who did this to our home, or, at the very least, caused it to happen. The fact that he appeared before us shortly after the incident is too much of a coincidence. I must be a dunderhead to not catch that." Dialga said.

"Dunderhead?"

"Yes, dunderhead." the Time Pokemon said as he took a good look around Spear Pillar.

Palkia was trying to push a column back into place. "Will you guys stop reading that dumb story and help me out here?"

The time Pokémon ignored him. "Palkia, I believe we've made a terrible mistake. There's a good chance that the Smashers might not have been responsible for this mess..."

"Well, whether they caused it or not, can you h_elp me CLEAN THIS FUCKING PLACE UP?_"

"As soon as we lift the barrier we've put up around the Smashers."

"But look at this shitty mes-"

Dialga frowned then froze time with a shake of his head. "There. You literally have all the time in the world to fix this. Now will you help me?"

"I hate you." However, Palkia stepped up to him anyway, so that they could dispel the bubble together.

As they focused their powers, Cresselia was turning off the computer they got from out of nowhere and started floating away. "I'll go to Smash Castle to apologize. And also tell the Smashers that there's a fanfic about them."

"You do that." Dialga grunted in response.

* * *

><p>Wario and the Puppit King stood at the front of the lobby, where they had flipped coins to decide who dies for the last several minutes or so. The Puppit King floated over the crowd of Smashers to summarize the results. "<em>So, ThiRtEeN oF yOu ShAlL sTaY aS tHe GaRlIc KiNg'S sUbJeCtS, wHiLe ThE rEsT oF yOu ArE tO bE eXeCuTeD."<em>

"You forgot to flip for me!" Shiek yelled.

"Wah? Oh right, sorry." Wario apologized, taking his coin out again.

"WARIO, THAT'S ZELDA." Mr. Game and Watch said.

"No, I'm Shiek!" Zelda insisted.

"You heard the girl. Guy. Wa, whatever." before the Garlic King flipped the coin, however, he caught sight of something. "Wahaha! The clocks are moving again!"

A clock on the wall was suddenly moving again, its hands spinning around rapidly to catch up to where time actually was. Some Puppits checked some watches that some of the Smashers wore and confirmed that time was moving again. "_Ah, ThE bUbBlE mUsT bE dOwN nOw._" the Puppit King cackled. "_EvEn If, YoU pItIfUl SmAsHeRs CaN sOmEhOw EsCaPe, We'Ve DiSaBlEd AlL yOuR vEhIcLeS. wE wIlL hUnT yOu DoWn As YoU rUn On FoOt, LiKe ThE pItIfUl RaTs YoU aRe."_

"...That's deep." Marth admitted.

"_Go, BrInG tHe SqUiD hErE._" the king commanded his subjects. Most of the Puppits in the room saluted and floated away to do his bidding.

"WAIT, HOW COULD YOU DISABLE ALL THE VEHICLES?" ROB asked, no longer in his Ancient Minister clothes. "YOU CANNOT HAVE DISABLED THE HALBERD; META KNIGHT DESIGNED IT IN A WAY THAT IT CANNOT BE SABOTAGED UNLESS IT'S ACTIVATED."

"Guess again, loser!" Wario laughed. "I, the Garlic King... and some random guy... took out that stupid battleship!"

"He's telling the truth." a voice said; the voice clearly did not belong to a Puppit. Everybody in the room turned, hero and villain alike, and saw the Normals. The Normals waltzed in the room, without fear, full of confidence, and with full stomachs.

"...Oh right, you three chumps!" Wario facepalmed. "How could I forget your ugly faces?"

Lucario frowned. "We're not that ugly. Well, I'm not sure about Meta Knight but..."

Meta Knight scowled at him. "Not funny."

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't trying to make a joke."

The Puppit King just looked at them absent-mindedly before it clicked in his wooden head who they were. "I_t'S yOu FoUr! HoW dArE yOu TrY tO rUiN mY pLa-"_

"Our plan." Wario corrected.

"_...oUr PlAn AgAiN? fOr ThIs, YoU wIlL bE eXeCuTeD iMmEdIaTeLy, AnD yOuR tRoPhIeS sHaLl Be FeD tO tHe SqUiD!" _the leading Puppit looked at his subjects_. "WhAt ArE yOu WaItInG fOr? KiLl ThEm!"_

The Puppits let out a horrible death screech and lunged toward the Normals. Meta Knight jumped to the head of the pack and took out another Smash Ball, to the shock of everybody. Before the Puppits realized how much shit they were in, the room darkened as Meta Knight swung his cape at them. Then, with a flash, the Puppits were broken on the floor. However, something else appeared while the place was dark.

Falco's Landmaster was parked at the end of the room; the magic of the Final Smash fixed whatever the Puppits did to it to sabotage it. Meta Knight clambered into the cockpit with Falco, who was intensely focused on making Wario explode. "Wario, I'm going to blow you up into fat, garlic-smelling pieces!"

The fat king shook his finger. "Wrong! Don't call me Wario..."

"I KNOW YOU'RE THE GARLIC KING, WHATEV-"

"Also wrong! I am..." he pulled out his own Smash Ball and destroyed it in his hands, which caused a flash of light to discharge. "Super King Garlicman!"

"...That is a ridiculous thing to say out lou-" the co-pilot knight could not finish his thought, because Wario thundered in, riding on his motorcycle at top speeds. It pushed the unprepared Landmaster down the hall until both ended up crashing through the wall and plummeting outside.

"...Well that happened." Dedede said, looking at the hole left behind.

The Puppit King hissed at the Puppits that weren't killed. "_RaLlY tHe OtHeRs! LoCk Up AlL oF tHe OnEs DeStInEd To LiVe AnD bRiNg ThE rEsT tO tHe CaStLe'S pOoL!"_ The Puppits quickly started to shove all the non-Normal Smashers out of the room. Then, reinforcements arrived, to take down Dedede and Lucario. Their king just glared at them before flying away to attend to business.

"Do you want the honors?" Lucario asked Dedede.

"Nah, you got this." he answered.

Lucario crushed a Smash Ball in his palm, and his eyes gave a deadly glow.

Even the Puppits were scared by the look in his eyes. "_R-rEtReAt!_"

Lucario leaped toward them and pointed his hands toward them. The Puppits could only hiss angrily before a large beam of aura fired out of Lucario's hands. The highly concentrated and awesome beam of death easily disintegrated them. However, since the beam lasts longer, Lucario was forced to accidentally burn the floor and carpet until the Final Smash ended. "...Whoops."

"Eh. Not our problem." Dedede assured him. "Come on, we have to free the others!"

* * *

><p>The ten Smashers were taking a break from beating up the giant squid, relaxing a good distance away from his tentacles. The squid could only glare at them as they rested.<p>

"We'll get you... after a quick nap!" Ness threatened.

"**_I will eat all of you._**"

"Yeah, keep saying that..."

A mass of shadows suddenly moved over the Smashers, prompting them to look up. In the air was an entire murder of Puppits, who were like a pack of crows. They descended to the lake and grabbed onto the head of the squid. They started to lift the gigantic sea creature out of the lake. "**_Oh, the time has come... So long, fishbait!_**" The Puppits started to fly away (albeit slowly), their cargo in tow.

The Smashers acted as if that was a normal thing. "...At least our job is done." Samus said.

"Where do you think they're taking that thing?"

"Who cares?"

"Yes! Now we can eat the fish!" Yoshi laughed. He and Kirby ran down to the lake and jumped right in.

"No! We-a came here to save-a the fish!" Mario screamed. The other Smashers dived in after them to keep them from consuming the whole ecosystem.

* * *

><p>"<em>MoVe It!<em>" one of the Puppits snapped as they moved Wario's group of Smashers to...

"Where are you even taking us?" Diddy asked.

"_We'Ll Be PuTtInG yOu In YoUr RoOmS..._"

"Ooh! That's not so bad!"

"_...bUt We'Ll DiSaBlE tHe ElEcTrIcItY iN yOuR rOoMs."_ This was answered with shouts of outrage and dismay.

"Hey! How dare you take away their electricity?" someone said at the end of the hallway. There, at the very far end, was King Dedede, with the Final Smash aura around him.

"_He'S cOnSuMeD a SmAsH bAlL! kIlL hIm!"_

However, it was too late: King Dedede was already starting to dance. The king lifted his feet and hopped around, while chirping out some foreign song that must have belonged to some ancient penguin culture. Probably. As he sung out his penguin lullaby, his minions - Waddle Dees, Waddle Doos, and Gordos - started to pop into existence and they ran toward the Puppits and captured Smashers. The Waddle Doos and Gordos in particular struck out at the wooden beasts, but they were easily defeated and dispelled.

"_WhAt WaS tHaT sUpPoSeD tO dO?_" one Puppit said, prompting cackles from the others.

"Ahem." at least thirteen voices said behind the Puppits.

The villainous marionettes turned and saw that the Smashers were no longer bound in chains; Waddle Dees were jumping up and down, holding the discarded chains in their hands.

"You guys have fun with that!" Dedede said before walking away whistling as the Puppits started to screech.

* * *

><p>"Why am I being fed to a squid?" Fox whined as the Smashers stood outside the pool. "Wasn't I supposed to be with Mario and Samus and the others?"<p>

"THAT'S A SURPRISINGLY SMART OBSERVATION, COMING FROM YOU, FOX." ROB said.

"At least-a the author forgot to write you-a in on-a accident." Luigi said, crying a little.

"_SiLeNcE!_" one of their captors hissed. The Puppits looked into the sky and saw something large moving toward the castle. And no, it's not an airplane. Nevermind the extremely weird mechanics and conventions in my stories. "yOuR eXeCuTiOnEr WiLl Be ArRiViNg SoOn. YoU mAy WeEp BiTtEr TeArS uNtIl ThEn."

"Grrf..." Bowser's snout was tied up so that he couldn't breathe fire or yell really loudly.

"No crying till the end, Lucas..." Lucas said to himself quietly.

"There will be no tears today, you terrifying fiends!" a shout came from one of the windows on the second floor.

"_WhO dO yOu ThInK wE aR-_"

Then a giant blast of blue aura came crashing through the second floor and down upon the Puppits, disintegrating half of them. The other half flew away from the blast as it was redirected toward them. Eventually, the aura ran out, leaving Lucario standing alone in the large gap he created in the wall. "Oh, whoops, I didn't get you all. Just let me get..."

"_NoPe._" Suddenly, Lucario was pushed out by a Puppit and he landed on the ground face-first.

"Doof... rude.." Lucario muttered. Before he could get back to breaking another Smash Ball, several Puppits surrounded him and held him down.

_"FoOliSh PoKeMoN! yOu ShAlL dIe LiKe ThE rEsT oF yOuR cOmRaDeS!_" the Puppit said. Lucario glanced in the sky and saw the large object heading towards them, recognizing its writhing tentacles. Lucario decided that this was sort of karma for making the squid angry at everyone in the first place and silently cried to himself.

Then, the unexpected happened - Cresselia flashed into existence. She was happy, completely oblivious to what was going on. "Hello Smashers! Sorry for trapping you all in here! As it turns out, this Garlic King jerk sort of manipulated us into doing it - so sorry! I'll leave all of you guys and your creepy friends to your pool party... oh, and by the way, do you know that some weirdo wrote a fanfic abo-"

Then, Lucas perked up, a thought coming to him. "Wait... did you and Dialga and Palkia send me that message on tumblr?"

"Haha, what's a tumblr?"

Everything was quiet. Lucas realized who sent him that message in the first place. Cresselia realized that this was not a pool party. Lucario realized that the Puppits were now screwed.

Somehow, the chains keeping Lucas together broke apart and the enraged boy threw a PK Fire at the Puppits holding Lucario down, freeing the Pokémon. "How lucky for us." Lucario said, grateful for Cresselia's intervention and Lucas' mindless rage.

"_CrAp._" The Puppits were then quickly destroyed, with a combination of giant Final Smash beams of pure death and psychic fire. Lucario and Lucas went about untying everybody while Cresselia just floated around, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Oooh, what's that?" Cresselia said, looking at a giant shadow that was now above the castle's pool.

Then, the Puppits dropped the giant squid into the pool, creating a small tidal wave. As he roared angrily, Lucario used another Smash Ball to dispatch the Puppits that lingered in the sky. The squid did not seem to mind this, though. "**_I will smash you all into a fine paste and suck you all up!_**" he threatened.

As the Smashers got into battle positions, Cresselia openly questioned. "Is violence always the answer for you guys?"

Right as the fighting was going to start, Lucario shouted. "No! Step back!"

The Smashers decided to listen to him and cautiously moved away from the squid. The squid squirmed, thrashing its tentacles around, trying to hit them. However, everyone was a good distance away from it. That's when everybody realized: the squid can't move; walking away from him was definitely smarter than trying to fight him.

So everyone left, ignoring the squid to attend to the Puppit infestation. "**_What? Get back here! I'm not done with you!_**"

"...I guess my job is finished." Cresselia said before she teleported away.

The Smashers that Lucario freed ran in different directions, to start beating the crap out of some Puppits (Bowser's mouth was still bound, but it's probably better that way). Then, King Dedede appeared before Lucario, being carried by his Waddle Dees. "So, what's new?"

"We have a squid in our pool now. Just ignore him." the Pokémon answered.

"**_Don't you dare ignore me!"_**

"...Okay. So, this means that we have to fight..." the penguin shivered. "..the head honcho, right?"

"...Yep. Where is he, though...?"

* * *

><p>In the courtyard of the castle, an epic battle was waging, between Falco's Landmaster and Super King Garlicman. Both sides quickly had to burn through their Smash Balls before the other side attacked. Every time Wario lost his Final Smash, Meta Knight attacked with his and Falco provided supporting fire; when the two Normals lost theirs, however, Super Garlicman kicked them around until Falco spawned another Landmaster for them to take cover in. As a result, all three participants have accumulated wounds throughout the whole battle.<p>

"Wahaha!" Wario laughed as he bounced around in front of the Landmaster while dressed in his superhero garb. "Come out and fight Super King Garlicman, you scaredy losers!"

Then his Final Smash ended.

"...WAH!" the man screamed as the Landmaster shot at him, blowing him up.

Falco's Final Smash ended, leaving the two Smashers in the grass. "Did I get him?" Falco wondered, looking at the smoke.

"...I AM SUPER KING GARLICMAN!" Wario ran through the smoke, having used another ball after he got hit.

Meta Knight activated his Final Smash as he got near; it was useless, but it'd at least slow Wario or the Garlic King or Lord Asshole or Super King Garlicman or whoever the fuck he is now. "Hurry and re-activate your Final Smash!"

Falco rifled through his pockets and jacket. His eyes widened as he noticed something. Something horrible. "I'm out of Smash Balls!"

"What?" Meta Knight repelled Wario away with his sword before searching himself. "...It... appears that I'm out as well."

"...Run like hell!" Falco grabbed Meta Knight by his cape and started running with him in tow. However, they couldn't really get far, because Wario ran in, kicking Falco across several yards, leaving the two Smashers sprawled on the dirt.

"Wahaha! You Normal chumps lose - not a surprise, since you guys are already a bunch of losers!" Wario mocked as he stepped toward them. "You know what, I'll forgive you. You just have to eat the garlic ice cream that you ungratefuls don't want, hand me all your money, oh, and you better kneel to the Garlic King!"

"W-We'll never kneel to you." Falco coughed in defiance.

"Heh. Too bad for you the-" Suddenly, Wario got engulfed in a blue light. "Wah? I can't see! What is this? Did the sun turn blue?" He wandered around as the column of light focused on him.

Meta Knight and Falco diverted their eyes to the source and they could see Lucario, using his Final Smash as a distraction. "Guys, finish him off!" the Pokémon shouted.

"We used all of our Smash Balls!" Falco screamed back.

"Oh no - I'm using my last one!" Lucario said sheepishly. "Run and look for another one - I'll hold him off!"

"Right. Let's go." Meta Knight said. The two Smashers on the floor start to run away.

"Hey, I can't see any- AAARGH!" Wario lost his powers, allowing him to suffer the full burnt of Lucario's attack, which ended a few seconds later. "Ow, you guys suck! Um..." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "...Uh..."

Falco stopped running and looked across the courtyard at Wario. "Let me guess: you don't have anymore Smash Balls?"

"...Er, I still have some..."

That was of course an obvious lie. Falco started to stomp toward the no longer powered man, fists and teeth clenched. Meta Knight followed, gripping his sword while Lucario descended. The avian pilot cracked his hands as he faced Wario. "I've been waiting to do this for the last three chapters..."

"_FoOlS!_" Lasers rained down from the sky all of a sudden and hit the three Smashers, forcing them away from Wario; the Puppit King arrived. He floated above Wario, glaring at the three Normals. "_yOu MaY hAvE dIsRuPtEd EvErYtHiNg... BuT aS lOnG aS yOu NoRmAlS aRe DeStRoYeD, i'Ll Be SaTiSfIeD._" Then, the mannequin king opened up his jaw really wide, releasing something from it.

A Smash Ball poured out from its mouth and landed in Wario's hands.

"Ha! Game over!" Wario laughed. But before he destroyed it...

The ground rumbled under them as they heard a mass of footsteps, distracting Wario from his objective. Then, pouring out the castle came King Dedede's minions. They swarmed the two villainous kings, which caused Wario to drop the ball into the mob. A random Waddle Dee picked it up and ran away in a random direction, intent on keeping it away from them. Then, King Dedede came, being carried by his entourage. "Ha! Dedede saves the day again!"

Wario looked very discouraged and frustrated. "No... no! The Garlic King does not lose! Wario never loses!"

The Puppit King was completely outraged, his head rotating on his neck. "_YoU... yOu InSoLeNt SmAsHeRs! I wIlL rIp ThE hEaRtS fRoM yOuR bOdIeS aNd BuRn AwAy YoUr TrOpHy CaRcAsSeS, dEsTrOyInG yOuR fRaGiLe ExIsTeNc-"_

Falco punted a Gordo into him, hard enough to shatter the puppet. "Oh shut up."

King Dedede's minions dispersed. That left Wario all alone with the Normals. And the broken pieces of the Puppit King. The villain slowly stepped away from them. "Ha... I'm... sorry?"

"No you're not."

They advanced toward him. However, Lucario suddenly had a change of heart. "Wait, stop."

"Stop?" Dedede said, baffled by his behavior.

"Yes. Would beating him up and kicking him out again be a reasonable course of action?"

"I don't know... revenge is always cool..."

"Dedede, your revenge against Kirby didn't exactly work out." Meta Knight said, realizing what Lucario was getting at, based on Dedede's own experience. "If we ostracize Wario again, he'll come back - just look at what he's done this time. If we take our revenge on him, he'll just come back, more stronger than last time."

Falco looked at Meta Knight then to Wario. Then, he sighed, putting his fists down. "You're right. Even if we beat him up, that won't change how much of an asshole he is."

When even Falco has given up on beating somebody up, it truly is a time to let bygones be bygones.

"You're... really not beating me up?" Wario said.

"...On one condition." Dedede coughed.

"What do you have on mind, Dedede?" Lucario replied with a raised eyebrow.

King Dedede merely gestured at the surrounding landscape. The castle's courtyard was torn up by motorcycle and Landmaster treads, some of it was burning away, and the place smelled horrible, thanks to Wario's dreadful fart attack. Smash Castle was also in poor shape, with multiple holes in it and scattered Puppit limbs everywhere.

Then, the Smashers arrived. They were led by ROB, who was now wearing his Ancient Minister garb again. Considering that they were all holding weapons, it was obvious that they also wanted a piece of Wario. "OH, YOU HAVEN'T KILLED WARIO YET. HOW SURPRISING."

"Minister, you have to reconsider letting everyone beat up Wario." Lucario said. Before anyone could openly question it, the Pokémon hopped up to the minister and whispered something in his ears.

"...VERY WELL THEN. WARIO, YOU SHALL BE SPARED FROM OUR WRATH, AND YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE BEING A SMASHER." The crowd of fighters behind him groaned in dismay, wondering why he would say such a thing. "...HOWEVER..."

"Wah?"

"...YOU HAVE TO FIX THE DAMAGES DONE TO THE CASTLE AND CLEAN IT UP. ON YOUR OWN TIME AND WITH YOUR OWN MONEY."

Now that was a definite blow toward Wario. "B-but..."

"You own a successful-a company, Wario!" Luigi shouted.

"YES, IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM."

"...Oh fine." The fat man sighed, conceding defeat.

Everybody was satisfied. The Puppits were all gone. The king was slain. Wario got a reasonable punishment. The squid's not a threat unless somebody was stupid enough to stand near him. Everything would be just fine. "THE PRIMIDS THAT HAVE SURVIVED ARE COOKING A VICTORY FEAST FOR EVERYONE AS WE SPEAK - WITH NO GARLIC, I MIGHT ADD. WHILE ALL OF US WORKED TOGETHER IN GETTING RID OF THE THREAT, REALLY, WE COULDN'T REALLY HAVE GONE FAR IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE NORMALS."

Cheers and chants came. The four Smashers felt flustered as the other Smashers shouted their names. Somebody threw a party ball into the mix, and everyone waited to see what the gift would be.

"It really is over, huh?" the avian pilot said.

"...It'll never be over, as long as we're stuck in this story." the knight replied.

"At least we have each other, right?" the Pokémon said.

"Yeah, we're a sweet bunch of friends! Nothing can stop us!" the king cheered.

Then the party ball opened.

"IT'S FULL OF BOB-OMBS!" Falco screamed.

The Smashers that were sent out to the lake stood at the entrance to the castle, baffled that everyone was gathered in a destroyed courtyard, the fact that they were exploding, and the fact that Wario was picking up wooden limbs while grumbling.

"...What...?" was all Pikachu could muster.

* * *

><p><strong><em>END OF THE FINAL ARC<em>**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note<strong>: The epilogue will come either later today, tomorrow, or Monday. My final thoughts on this story will be there, so see you guys then!_


	39. Epilogue

**_THE EPILOGUE_**

* * *

><p>Everything was at peace, and this time, there were no assholes to ruin it.<p>

The giant squid lingered in the pool of Smash Castle for a few days, screaming at the Smashers before eventually giving up. Soon, the squid realized that it felt nice to be left alone and not beaten up. Peace was what he truly desired; he was just too much of a crazy revenge-seeker. So, at the request of the Ancient Minister (and several people who wanted to go swimming), the Smashers worked together to carry the squid back to his precious ocean, where he currently resides.

With a lot of their numbers slaughtered and their king slain, the Puppits fled back to the forest, hissing aggressively at everyone that dare come near Thankfully though, they realized that trying to fight the Smashers would be a dumb move, so they dropped the, "_We'Ll KiLl YoU aLl!_" thing. So, as far as we know, these creepy jerks never bothered the Smashers again.

Wario decided to be good for once and accepted the punishment. In the days following his defeat, he rode around the castle on his motorcycle, cleaning it up and begrudgingly paying for repairs. The Age of the Garlic King/Lord Asshole/Super King Garlicman/That One Guy ended, but the legacy of Wario the Smasher continued. He promised revenge against the Smashers... by beating them all in the tournament. Since there was no chance in hell of that ever happening, they decided to just accept it.

Lucas was applied for consoling - a lot of consoling. However, nobody could do a thing to help him. As long as nothing horribly traumatic and emotion-breaking doesn't happen to him though, everyone around the boy was safe. Yep. Everything will be okay.

Bowser was still an angry turtle dragon thing, but at least he's not as asshole-ish as Wario, so there's that to consider.

The rest of the Smashers pretty much stayed the same because no one learns anything.

Until a certain Halloween incident, the Ancient Minister continued to be a lousy leader.

Dialga, Palkia, and Cresselia briefly went mad, having become self-aware of their existence as game characters used in fanfics after finishing a story some idiot started in 2011. Then they decided to just live with it. After all, as long as they weren't the main focus of the idiot's story, they won't be in much danger.

As for the main focus of this story...

The Normals have become somewhat distant from each other in the two weeks following the Garlic King's defeat. They were more reluctant to meet with each other; even the honorable Meta Knight and Lucario blew off eating with the others during lunchtime. They often made excuses, making up reasons to avoid hanging out with each other. It was obvious: this friendship was starting to fall apart.

On this faithful morning, the Normals met during breakfast. It was really early in the morning, so there were only a few people around to start shenanigans and ruin everything. The four Smashers sat at their usual table anxiously, not looking at each other.

Then, they said at exactly the same time, "We need to break up The Normals."

They were shocked that they each had the same thing on mind. The few non-Normal Smashers looked alarmed at this statement before returning to their food.

"...So, I wasn't the only one thinking of it..." Meta Knight said with a sigh.

Falco rested his head in his hand. "Well, it's just as you said: this crap will never be over as long as we're in this story."

"Yeah." Lucario confirmed, nodding. "This story is called '_The Normals_', after all. As long as we're the main characters, we'll always be stuck dealing with some situation or another."

Dedede looked really reluctant about this. "If we stop being The Normals, that Hyper guy can't write about us."

H-hey! You guys can't do this! This is one of my most popular stories!

"Dude, we've looked at your author notes. You want to end this story too." the Arwing pilot countered.

Yeah, but... hold on, how do you know about the author notes? There was no fourth wall to begin with, but goddamn, this is starting to get ridiculous.

"Oh, Cresselia sent me the link to the story in its entirety." the Pokémon answered plainly. "Look, you've had a good run too, but it's about time to end this story."

...Yeah... you're probably right... so, yeah. Get on with it. Go.

The four Smashers went back to their conversation. "I guess this is the end of the Normals." the knight said.

"We're.. really not going to be friends anymore, huh?" the penguin king said, looking a bit distraught.

"Hey, we're still friends; we just have to hang out with each other less, and not in groups, and..." Lucario stopped himself when he noticed that Dedede looked like he was going to cry.

"But... you guys are the only ones that hang out with me..."

The other three Smashers stared at him, feeling sorry for their thieving member. "Hey, it'll be okay." Falco said, which shocked everyone. "You can hang out with Kirby. That pink shrimp puff likes you."

"I hate him though..."

"Well, now's as good time as any to make amends and become friends with him." Meta Knight said, encouraging this. "How about you talk with him later?"

"Next week."

"...Tomorrow."

"Next week."

"Oh fine. Just become pals with him."

"I'll try." King Dedede got up and groaned, trying to hide out how melancholic he feels. "Well, I think I'll go eat lunch in my room..." The large fighter slumped toward the food line to get his food; the fact that he was getting his own food really says a lot.

It was quickly becoming awkward at the table, which was supposedly no longer The Normals' table. Maybe it'll become an average table from then on. Or maybe some of the Smashers will form a rock band and make that table their base of operations. Yes. Falco left his seat and slowly walked away from the future rocker table. "I think I'll go take on multi-man brawl today..."

"Not going to have lunch?" Lucario questioned.

"...No." he shuffled away rather quickly.

"...Is.. he actually sad for once?"

"He likely is." Meta Knight said, as he watched King Dedede leave the cafeteria with several plates of food. Even the knight felt rather bummed about this. "So... what are you going to do later?"

"Uh... I guess I'll eat with the other Pokémon for once." the other remaining Normal answered. "It's been awhile since I ate at that table. I forgot why I stopped though - maybe Pikachu was having one of his tantrums..."

'Maybe. He's not really somebody to associate with, as adorable as people find him." Meta Knight said.

"Yeah... what will you be doing?"

"I'm not sure... I don't have any matches today, so I'll train a bit.

"I heard that Luigi's Mansion has no matches there, so maybe I'll practice my sword fighting there."

"Good luck with that." Lucario said, giving a sad nod before getting up to get his breakfast. Meta Knight watched him as he got his food and sat at the Pokémon table.

"..." Meta Knight sat alone, at the former table of The Normals.

Oh cheer up, Meta Knight!

"Hm?"

I just have a feeling that you'll make some new friends soon~.

* * *

><p><strong><em>THE END<em>**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Aha, it's finally over. I bet most of you didn't expect the epilogue to be... depressing. I also bet that most of you didn't expect this story to be a prequel to my other stories (ie. The Trapped Series)._

_I really didn't expect this story to take off as it did. I originally intended it to be something to write on the side while I'm writing Attack of Giygas, but surprisingly, this ended up becoming more popular. Nevertheless, I'm happy that a lot of people read this story. I'm grateful for all the reviews, and that some of you took the time to submit votes to my polls. You guys really are the best._

_However, I'm sorry to say that there won't be a sequel. After all, The Normals just broke up. I'll still be writing stories for the Super Smash Brothers fandom, however; especially with Meta Knight. By the way, if you're a big fan of Lucario, read AuraChannelerChris' stories. He's a rather big fan of Lucario himself. Also, if you're a fan of crack fanfiction, TheGreatChickenMiasma writes the best stories. Let them fill the voids in your arteries._

_I actually have no other recommendations to make. The thing is, I rarely read fanfiction anymore; so, I have one final request for you guys: can you recommend stories for me? I want to read some nice stories: humor, horror, adventure, I don't care as long as it's a Super Smash Brothers story. Please leave me suggestions, it'd be much appreciated!_

_While I don't plan on working on anything else until I finish the almost done Diary of a Psychopath, the War Against Giygas will still be around for an unforeseen amount of time; The Trapped Series will also continue soon. If you have the time and the patience for my stupidity, read those two stories, please._

_Once again, I want to thank you all for reading The Normals. It's been fun, and I hope you all enjoyed it._

_- Hyper_


End file.
